Re: Move back...to what??
 

Hard one, the reality is when we came back to live we had all the usual wonderment of family get togethers and lots of contact, yes it dwindles but there is a comfort in knowing that they are just around the corner if you need them.

It is very much a personal thing and if you are happy in your space in Oz, if the wheel is not coming off don't try to fix it.

Best of luck with it all.

MMum :)

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Hi HP long time no speak! I hope you are well and congrats on the bump!!!

It's funny how everything changes when you lose someone very close to you. It really does make you take a step sidewards and look at things with a different perspective. All of a sudden some things seem so very unimportant now.

So, do you think you will ever move back out here one day?

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Hi Michaela, lovely to hear from you.

Have you decided whether you're going back to live yet? It's a difficult place to be isn't it....stuck in the middle and not quite knowing which way to turn.

All I keep thinking is if we go back we will end up in a little house, worse off financially, less quality time together because we'll be working so damn hard to make ends meet and to top all of that, it'll be raining! I'll never stop loving the UK, it's always going to be my home, but I've finally realised that the UK I grew up in and have such wonderful memories of, it's just not there anymore. I was talking to someone from home the other day and there's been another murder in our little town of Bromsgrove! All drugs related and such a contrast to how it was years ago. Then there's also been drugs being dealt at the local middle school...very scary thought that my kids would end up going there if we were to return home.

It scares the hell out of me that my kids would end up going clubbing into Birmingham! Stabbings, drugs and gangland murders going on all the time. Bit different to when I used to go up to Pagoda Park or The Dome for a night out!

Over here we are all so safe and the kids live in an innocent environment where crime is not so rife. Perth is like the UK...30 years ago.

I hope you find your direction one day and things become clearer for you as to where you are supposed to be.

Love T xxxx

Re: Move back...to what??
 

In a way, moving back to the UK was kind of like moving to Oz in that we were starting over again, with new priorities in life. Of course it was a bit easier with the old support network in place, but both husband and I had new interests and therefore sought out new contacts. My main circle of friends now are the mums & babies, none of whom I knew before going to Oz.


Hi HP,

Did you find it easier making new friends when you went back
because it was easier to form a bond with people at home
you shared common interests with, such as growing up in
the UK.

I wonder if perhaps that's why it can be difficult in OZ sometimes,
new culture and new friends and it takes some time to form any kind
of history here.

It's good to hear other experiences and be prepared for going back
and that you will be different and have to make every effort to
extend your social circle, just a you did here. Will make it less
of a shock for us all I think. :) :beer:

Re: Move back...to what??
 

That's a fair point.
Must just be a lot of people around me, that are really discontented with their life, the country, politics etc., etc., who moan all the time but don't do anything about it.
angel :)

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Tracey,
I think we'll probably stay now, I would still go home if it were just me, but Will and Millie love it, and my parents are settled, and i dont feel as bad about being here as i did.
We are lucky that our closest friends are in a position to visit annualy, and Will has promised me the annual trip home to stop me moaning! My friends are great because when i speak to them, they remind me of why we left and encourage us to stick it out, though i know they miss us.
I dont honestly know that its safer here, but then i am exposed through my job to the not so pleasant elements of society, but in terms of violence, drug use, peadophilia etc, i dont think theres much in it. Maybe Perths isolation serves you well in that respect.
I still feel a sense of envy each time i read a going home story on here, but i dont have the same sense of emptiness that i did 6 months ago, so for me the magic 2 year mark that everyone tells you about is partway true.
I hope you continue to settle....its been a rocky road for us hasnt it....maybe this time next year we'll be happy and settled! At least we can rely on one thing....our hubbys will still be having the same claret and blue conversations!
Speak soon,
Michaela x

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Now here is a thread highlighting that sometimes you need to give a new place more time, good to hear things are going well.

MMum :)

Re: Move back...to what??
 

I just want to add don't forget you were the one that decided to move away from your friends and family is maybe they feel it is up to you to keep in touch,we had some of the same feeling's as you but have been back 4 week's now and love it best thing we did move back to the UK anyway good luck what ever you decide :)

Re: Move back...to what??
 

So glad to hear that you are loving it!

Please could you do a thread to fill us all in :D

Re: Move back...to what??
 

i remember when we were first seriously thinking about moving to australia, getting upset about leaving family etc (not friends, as they can come and go, without wanting to sound too harsh). i called my older brother, who left the uk some 12 years ago, upest, saying "how could you leave us, how could you leave mum/dad?". his answer was, yes, it was bloody hard, he was really upset, BUT, his family was within his walls (wife and child), and that was what he had to think about. YES, he still misses us all like crazy (we are a close family), BUT, his immediate family is the one that counts.

i think you have hit the nail on the head. it is YOUR family that counts. personally, i couldnt give a monkeys uncle about friends (they wouldnt about us), family yes, immediate family, hubbie and the kids. that is what it is about.

you sound so very settled and happy. moving back to the uk would be a wrong move in my opinion (for what it is worth..... :( :rolleyes: )

take care, and i hope your mum has a fantastic holiday and decide to move to australia to be with her daughter and grandchildren.
xx

Re: Move back...to what??
 

I want to move back but I think its just homesickness, I have a beautiful house and lifestyle here, and disposable income.
But I miss going to football games, and my friends who I know Id hang out with If I lived there and my sister and neice and family but I wont have this lifestyle.
plus the other big factor is my wife (american) dont want to move
she loves it here (in Florida). although she loves the UK she wont like the winters...

Re: Move back...to what??
 

They are flipping killers, into my 2nd winter here in the UK for many years and they don't get any easier :eek: :)

Re: Move back...to what??
 

For me moveing back is for the things I know and love :) roll on 2007.

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Oh Gosh-that is what happened to us. An expensive but very valuable lesson. Enjoy the time with your mum and good luck with it all.

Re: Move back...to what??
 

Everything that has been said on this thread is so true.

I have lived in South Africa and now Ireland, with a spell back in the UK in the middle. We are now hoping to go to Canada.

From all this experience I have deduced some hard truths: -

When you move away, you change as a person - new challenges etc. Many of the people left behind do not change, and sometimes you find on your return that apart from sharing memories of the good times, you have 'moved on' and grown apart from some of these people.

When you start a new life you make new friendships often based on the you 'now' as opposed to the school/college girl/boy you were. In order to 'make room' for these new friends, it's inevitable that others will naturally drop off the radar. This also explains why some friends don't bother so much with you either, you have dropped off their radar. It's a natural process and if you go away you accelerate it.

I have found you can never please everybody, so don't try. The first few years I lived in Ireland, I found so much expectation that I would go to visit everyone on my visits home, that I felt under real pressure to fit them all in. I was expected to do all the running. However as the years went by and very few of them bothered to properly keep in touch or come over to see me, I decided they could do without me and I now concentrate on my family and a few chosen friends! Of course we still do Christmas cards etc, but you have to resist the temptation to spread yourself so thinly. It doesn't make for rewarding relationships.

I find that if I am excited about seeing a person, then they are worth seeing. I know that might sound silly, but how many friends do we have that are really just people we know? How much of seeing them is just habit/duty ( and dare I say it we can include some family in this?) Those true real friends that you really love and who love you will give you that special feeling. Most of the ones that give me that feeling aren't people I grew up with! They are also scattered to the four corners of the globe, so seeing them regularly is not an option, but that special feeling is still there.

Having said that, if you are lucky enough to have lots of people you can call friends for lots of different reasons, then you will just have to be content with the sparse e-mails and Christms cards, until such time as you do get to see eachother again. I certainly don't beileve in losing touch with people I like,even if I have no idea if/when I'll ever see them. You never know what life will bring...!


Good luck
Snowqueen