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Maybe it's time to move back

Maybe it's time to move back

Old May 15th 2016, 6:54 am
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Default Maybe it's time to move back

Okay, going to be brutally honest in this posting and appreciate any feedback. Some of you may remember my brother died over 3 years ago and was my only family member. I have struggled since to cope with his death and fact I'm on my todd. The past few months I've been depressed and still am. I am tired of life in America and wonder why I'm even here anymore? I do most things alone and can have days where no friends call or text me. I have started to stay in bed a lot to pass the time as I have nothing to do. I seem to be burdened by debt (bloody student loans) and still have 5 years to pay on those. If I moved back to UK I would have to take money from retirement to clear up all debts and have money to go to UK. I am just so desperately unhappy and seriously considering move back to UK. I have friends back in UK and am aware their lives have moved on but it's more than i have here. If going to be lonely and depressed for rest of my life might as well be in UK as here. Sorry for all the woe is me rubbish..
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Old May 15th 2016, 8:50 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Are you thinking of coming back to work or just retire ? What would your source of income be ? Housing ?
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Old May 15th 2016, 9:07 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I would seriously look into coming back but you have to investigate the practical aspect first, like Scot47 says. Having worked out if it is financially feasible, then you would need to decide where and how to live. Work out as best as possible a budget as you do not want to be even more stressed here. On the other hand, there is probably more help available here for you should you need it, especially after a few months. Loneliness seems to be a major problem and, yes, your fiends will have moved on but you may find some good support from at least some of them. Also there seem to be so many organizations, clubs, etc here that you could join and make new friends. It costs very little. If you intend to work, new acquaintances will be made in the workplace. I think once you have worked out how to pay off the loans and return with enough to live on, you will find a new lease of life. I loved where I lived before returning but I still get a thrill when I walk around the streets of London, even I have been back nearly two years! Keep us updated on your plans. Change can be very frightening but it can also be exciting!
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Old May 15th 2016, 6:52 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

fulwood, I sent you a PM
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Old May 15th 2016, 9:44 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Scot47 - move back for good. Will need to work. Housing - have to arrange whilst overseas. I have a dog as well which complicates things. Can't leave him behind. The funds I have would be some savings less than 10k and my tapping into my retirement funds. Just don't want to be here anymore. 32 years is long enough. I don't look at life in UK thru rose tinted glasses and know it may be difficult but the alternative is to stay here - alone. I don't mind being alone - it's the loneliness. Thanks for your response. I've been watching a show on BBC called an Island Parish and another show which were filmed in Shetland Islands - looks lovely.. I am nearly 55 with no ties in US and friends I think who would help me find a place. I think to start off I would return to Preston (God help me) as my friends are based there and then let time decide where I end up. Job would obviously dictate where I could end up.. Michali - thanks for response. Yes the prospect of moving is daunting but exciting at same time.
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Old May 15th 2016, 10:17 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Fulwood, I think it's a good idea to look seriously into moving back. Things have not gotten any easier for you; in fact they sound a lot worse. You are still young enough to start over, so go for it! Wishing you the very best of luck.
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Old May 16th 2016, 5:23 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Wishing you the best of British in your move : )
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Old May 16th 2016, 11:16 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

If I were you I would move back.. I think over the in the U.K there are a lot more clubs and wee social gatherings and usually within walking distance, at least in Scotland were my family live there are! Plus with the NHS and Dental care being much more affordable that is also a bonus. Publilc transportation is another plus. If I had no ties here I would move back.. Best of luck with your decision.
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Old May 17th 2016, 2:44 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Just came across this thread. Fulwood - you have had a rough few years here and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I would never dream of telling anyone what to do, but it sounds like you're more or less feeling that you think you should move back. Things don't seem to have gotten any better for you here. Personally, I wouldn't stay here if I didn't have any family. I just couldn't do it. My kids & grand-kids are the only thing keeping me here. Sure - the UK isn't the same as you left it all those years ago, but it's still got a lot going for it, and as someone mentioned in another post, there's a lot of activities and clubs for people over 50 (I think there's a lot more to do there than here). Just want to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope you make the right decision. Take care of yourself.
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Old May 17th 2016, 4:15 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Hello you.

Life is far too short to be miserable,although you also sound depressed.

It's the natural end of this phase of your life by the sound of it . So time to move on to a new phase. At 55 you are nubbit but a sping chicken with plenty inside of you yet.

Make some plans to go back to the UK but if you are finding it hard to get out of bed please do go see a quack.
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Old May 17th 2016, 7:18 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Shetland is not easy .Come to Bute !
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Old May 17th 2016, 10:07 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Can anyone send me a link where I can renew my British passport? I think UK processes them now. Thanks..
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Old May 17th 2016, 10:15 pm
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Originally Posted by fulwood View Post
Can anyone send me a link where I can renew my British passport? I think UK processes them now. Thanks..
You could ask Windsong

Here you go Fulwood, best of luck with your decision but it sounds like home is where you belong now https://www.gov.uk/overseas-passports
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Old May 18th 2016, 2:06 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Originally Posted by fulwood View Post
Scot47 - move back for good. Will need to work. Housing - have to arrange whilst overseas. I have a dog as well which complicates things. Can't leave him behind. The funds I have would be some savings less than 10k and my tapping into my retirement funds. Just don't want to be here anymore. 32 years is long enough.

...
Job would obviously dictate where I could end up.. Michali - .
If the student loans are a significant proportion (say 40% or more) of your savings or "net worth" you could look at the alternatives.
(A) If the loans are Federally insured and you emigrate from the USA you can exclude the first $98,000 () of your UK income from your American AGI provided you file 1040s every year and then apply for forbearance on the loans every year. You end up paying no money but your have to file those 1040s and request for forbearance every year. You have to keep that up for 20 years before the loans are forgiven altogether.
(B) If the loans are not Federally insured you can just stiff the creditors and simply not pay them. It's the same with credit cards debt. They are unlikely to go after you in a UK court. It simply costs too much to pay a British solicitor when (in their view) you probably can't pay in the end. Mind you it possibly means you can't visit the USA without risk ever again, but that may be better than losing US$25,000 or something on that order.

As to work and UK life, it's important to grasp that London and the SE are horrendously expensive. You probably can't afford to live there. You have to try to find a job far away to find cheap housing (and with luck welcoming people). It all depends what your work skills/experience are.

I'm very sorry to say that people here have reported that moving a dog is incredibly expensive. It won't do much good saving the dog if you can't save yourself.
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Old May 18th 2016, 2:33 am
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Default Re: Maybe it's time to move back

Originally Posted by holly_1948 View Post
If the student loans are a significant proportion (say 40% or more) of your savings or "net worth" you could look at the alternatives.
(A) If the loans are Federally insured and you emigrate from the USA you can exclude the first $98,000 () of your UK income from your American AGI provided you file 1040s every year and then apply for forbearance on the loans every year. You end up paying no money but your have to file those 1040s and request for forbearance every year. You have to keep that up for 20 years before the loans are forgiven altogether.
(B) If the loans are not Federally insured you can just stiff the creditors and simply not pay them. It's the same with credit cards debt. They are unlikely to go after you in a UK court. It simply costs too much to pay a British solicitor when (in their view) you probably can't pay in the end. Mind you it possibly means you can't visit the USA without risk ever again, but that may be better than losing US$25,000 or something on that order.

As to work and UK life, it's important to grasp that London and the SE are horrendously expensive. You probably can't afford to live there. You have to try to find a job far away to find cheap housing (and with luck welcoming people). It all depends what your work skills/experience are.

I'm very sorry to say that people here have reported that moving a dog is incredibly expensive. It won't do much good saving the dog if you can't save yourself.
I can't imagine that she wouldn't be able to afford to bring her dog back. How depressing would it be if she left her dog behind? Nope, she has to bring her dog with her
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