Is anyone finding it difficult with relationships. I feel quite strange around our friends here right now and that we are the subject of much 'discussion'. Only one couple have truly wished us a heart felt goodbye and 'understand' why you're leaving, with others there seems to be a lot of how could you or silence. It's making me even more desperate to leave!

I wouldn't take it personally (or I would try not to!) Maybe some folks think you are just floating the idea (or have you a firm return date set, sorry I cannot remember?)

But more likely some people just sort of want to 'move on' and write you out of their lives fast. And move onto other relationships who might stick around longterm? I know it sounds mercenary but I did meet one person like that, she more or less told me she was fed up wasting energy investing in relationships with people who decided to move on to some other place. And from now on she was only going to befriend 'locals' rather than blow-in foreigners (like me!)

Try not to let it get you down. Maybe as it comes nearer the departure date there will be more goodbyes and emotion. I also think sometimes people live almost from week to week so some event a bit further out has to 'wait it's turn', if you KWIM?

Thanks Karin, it was a low day yesterday. I'm probably just feeling the leaving blues and you're right, people need to move on and maybe leave the friendship before we even depart. It's sad but maybe needed for all.

I see you're staying in the UK. I hope that works for all of you, I'm sure it will. I personally can't wait to get back but scared of the emotional roller coaster! How did you fair with settling in? And what kind of work are you looking for?

The technology today like: facebook, skype, good old telephone, online video chat(i am sure i have missed some), i don't understand some peoples nastiness. I have spent more time chatting with people in a meaningful manner than when i was in the UK with them.

Living in Canada even my dear friends and my family live between 2-5 hours away from me, we get together every few months. We converse daily by phone or web. it is the sign of the times i guess.

I am sorry you have had to deal with that stuff, it is not nice. Good luck with your move tho :-)

Thanks Reeni
I'm going to just get my head down and get organising the move as we've lots to do. I guess if we had the warm wishes of 'good luck' and 'we understand why you're doing it', we wouldn't feel so paranoid. People are fairly militant about their love for this place and leaving it means we are mad!

One lady said my 4 year old would hate me when he grows up and realises that he could've grown up here. I was so hurt and stunned someone would think and say such a thing out loud!

It's odd as our main reason for leaving (or my husband's at least) is finances and work opportunities. We are in a little place. on a little island that has very few job opportunities. Families are often under a great deal of financial stress and I see them fall apart. I don't want that to happen with us. We are thankfully leaving with a good deposit and hopeful about employment when we get back.

Are we terrified of what the future brings? YES.
Are we tremendously excited too? YES.

What a horrible lady to say that to you out loud. I'm sure what your doing is for the benefit of everyone in the family including the kids. If you're not happy, the kids won't be happy. End of. Don't feel down. It's the superficial'ness of those people kicking in again. Focus on the move back and the excitement where you'll be appreciated and feel happier. I'm making moves now regards going back. Feeling the same as you. No job to go back to so terrified yet excited because I'll see family again.

All the best.

Hi Trouncer,
I think once she said it she could see my stunned face and regretted it. Lots of people here will sacrifice anything to live in paradise. She left a husband and a son to live here as he refused to go. Nowhere in the world is worth that to me so here we are leaving. There are many tree planters, loggers and fisheman who live away for the best of the year and that can take a toll I guess. Many here are retirees. It's just strange that leaving is such a sin and many say we'll be back. I think we will but not until we are drawing a pension!

I feel so grateful that I've had the chance to live here and I'm grateful that I am able to go back to the UK. Some people in the world would do anything to live in either.

I think I'm in a strange head space so I need to try and focus on jobs to do and avoid lengthy discussions about returning. I'm learning the art of changing the subject which is working well so far. I'm also spending more time alone which is good for me.

I wish you luck in your return Trouncer. Where do you think you'll be going back to? We're not decided yet. I'd like to be near my mum int he Peak Disrict but it all depends on work of course!

Best wishes.

I'm from Yorkshire but thinking of moving to Manchester as I think I'll have more chance of a job there and it's only across the Pennies to my folks. However, I'm willing to move to any decent place if they offer me a decent job. It's just be a nightmare trying to find a job here in Vancouver. 4 interviews in the space of 10 months and still no job is not good, and this is after taking all the advice, suggestions, courses people have been telling me.

Had enough of the superficial people too. Don't get me wrong. I agree with a lot of what you say. There's some really nice people and I get on well with lots, but there's just something missing. The english humour ? Banter ? genuine'ness of people. Vancouver is absolutely beautiful and the scenery is 2nd to none in some place but I've discovered it's not enough for me.

It's been a real journey and despite wanting to go back, I'm glad I did it and got it out of my system. As you say, we feel very lucky to have been able to do it too as some just can't go (or go back) for whatever reason. Spent a fortune on the venture but time to save enough to try and start again in the UK. Also a part of me thinks we left it too late in life to start such an adventure (just turned 50).

Maybe if I'd landed a job, things would have worked out different but if I'm honest I think it would just have meant delaying the return back. Currently trying to sort removal quotes, dates, etc. and already been looking at UK jobs. Not booked flights or anything definite though. Maybe it's nerves ? But I think it will happen. When you going back ? and where to ?

Hi Trouncer
You are 50 young! It's a NIGHTMARE getting work here sadly. What do you do? I'm a teacher and it's been great for part time dance studio work but working in the school district....ugh.....why people become teachers here I will never understand.

So, I'm from Manchester originally and lived in Whalley Range for a few years before coming here. SO FRIENDLY! I made a million friends in no time and had ots of fun there. I loved the airport being close by and always lots happening.

We'll probably go back to near my mum in Marple. I'm thinking close to the Peak District so Broadbottom is quite the favourite right now. It's all a little daunting. We're going on a mad trip to the US and Mexico first in a tent trailer with 2 kids (one is 16 weeks) and an Airedale and a hot headed husband. Kill me!!!

We'll be back at the end of the year....thank goodness. I can't bare another day of superficiality and empty relationships. Don't start me! And yes, I have spent 7 years trying to secure good work and spent lots of time and money transferring qualifications for little to nothing. Lovely place but that's no good if the people are....well, who knows what they are....and there's no work.

Are you having to justify your return endlessly or are people supportive? I'm spending the day hiding as I think I might shoot someone who dares challenge return!

Have you been over to the island? We're in the Comox Valley.

Ignore the stupid comments about your 4 year old.
My Sister in law said something similar, I was shocked, she told me moving my then 4 year old back to UK would ruin his life, how would he ever get an education She has no college education herself. I do as do all my friends (all educated in the UK)
Well due to one thing and another we ended up back here in the US, Ds graduated Uni here and her oldest stubborn as a mule didn't graduate from high school (same month), she has stopped talking to me practically, I think thanksgiving and Christmas me be canceled (our invites anyway)
What does Ds do on graduating Uni? He goes back home to UK where he wanted to be all along, so much for ruining his life he wanted to stay in UK all along.

Hows the boy doing mummy?
Hi Trouncer, there is a great thread for 50s and 60s going home to UK or wanting to.... dont have to be 50 to join of course.

He's good, having way too much fun I hear, but he has interviews lined up for this week coming and all kinds of applications in I'm told.
One of the jobs comes through before he runs out of money.

Dear lillybillly101, Don't worry to much about how people act or what they say or don't say. People who live on the Island or BC in general think they live in paradise and that no other place on earth has the same value. I have found that those of whom I thought were friends have virtually forgoten who and where I am but I still have a couple of people who I have regular contact with through Facebook etc. Enjoy the time you have left, it is a beautiful part of Canada but for many of us it is not home and for some people who have never left family, friends and their whole life in another country they will never understand, so don't waste your time trying to get them to do just that. Good Luck with you move.

Thanks Easterdawn. So true! It's a sad and difficult process but a necessary one it seems. People are letting go and so are we. It really is amazing here in many ways and I can't believe I'm leaving it but finances and emotions are speaking volumes. I guess we need some support in our decisions not judgement but that's ok. We'll ride it out and I'm sure some of the the friendships will last. Ah dear.......hope all is well with you.

So, it has been amazing with friends after a short but strange spell. I guess it was part of the process of leaving and me feeling out of sorts and them adjusting to us leaving. People have been so VERY, VERY kind with their time, helping us with the kids and the move in general. So sweet. I feel guilty for ever doubting those relationships! I am a fool sometimes.....I blame the stress of leaving!

So, we are now in an empty house and have one blanket between the 4 of us. The baby has already fallen off the bed once so must try to be more diligent. Oops. The dog looks REALLY sad and stressed but she is off to a lovely home for a couple of months while we are away. Our little boy asks if we are going to England today every day! Cute. He is very excited about everything.

The tent trailer is set up at the campground, British passports are here and Brit visa has been issued so will be here in three days. MADNESS. It is all coming together slowly. Weère off to the Rockies and heading down the US and maybe into Baja.

It has been a long and difficult few days and I feel exhausted. We both look like crap. No concealer will hide these bags. I LOOK LIKE BARRY BLOODY NORMAN!

So, farewell to all for a wee while......or just the morning which will be a mad scramble to get out of the house by 12

SAD to leave HAPPY to go home. It is a big emotional roller coaster ride for me but hanging on....white knuckling it!

Best wishes to all.


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