TraceyW

It's me again......over 10 months down the line and still bloody homesick!

It's really bad at the moment, so much so that I can't think past the thoughts of going home.

It's all been magnified by having the in-laws here for 5 weeks. God, they're amazing! From the moment they landed the whole atmosphere has lifted, the kids are so happy around them, so am I. They have just slotted back in with us as if nothing had changed, it's like they've just popped in from down the road!

Trouble is, they're going home in two weeks and my heart is literally breaking at the thought of being left behind here. Our children keep asking Granny and Grandad why they have to go away and why they can't stay here in Australia? They just don't understand. I'm dreading the day they fly off, it'll be awful.

This goodbye will be even worse than the one in the UK, we were all excited then at the thought of our adventure and what lay ahead for us. I now know what lies ahead for me anyway, a lot of tears to start with, then the putting on of the brave face and getting on with it.

Ouch....this is really gonna hurt! :scared:

ANA123

Tracey,
this is so hard, I find it heartbreaking every time, the sight of a plane in the sky gives me that horrible feeling now. The panic about people going taints the stay a bit too doesnt it.
Its tough on the children too, big highs big lows,
Keep your chin up, you know where we are if you need a good old moan,
Michaela x

kiwichild

Perth isnt the easiest place in oz to relocate to(full of pretentious, superficial people with a socially backward environment). If you can stick it out in oz till you can secure citizenship (incase you want to return later), then if you still feel the same, maybe look at going back home to UK.

MrsB

TraceyW
I can fully understand what you are going through. I too have been homesick, and feel just the same as you and mcmercer. I read some of your other posts last night that you posted in November. We came out for 2 years just to try it, and if we like it we can stay. But I have already told my husband, that this is not for me. For the same reasons as you all....family. I'll do my 2 years then I'm off home. Its seems to be the women who want to go home doesn't it? My husband is very understanding and has agreed if one of us wants to go home, then we will go home. I have just had my husbands parents out for 3 weeks, and it was great ! But the day they got here, I was already dreading the day they were to leave. When they did go, I was distraught, and they are not even MY parents. When my own parents come out in September, I'm going to be a mess I'm sure. My father-in-law though, thinks this is absolutely fab, he loves everything about this place, and just talks as though we are here for ever, and I keep saying "no, we are here for 2 years"....so that is hard too, because its pressure I don't need!! Whats good though, is that my hubbys job is a bit boring for him...so hopefully he will need a change in 2 years time, and I can drag him home, otherwise he probably would stay. Anyway, lucky you...I have only been here since Jan 2005, so I've got another 20 odd months before I can go home !!! I just hope that I don't change the way I feel, which I'm sure I won't. So its good to know that you all still feel you want to go home after being here so long. Does anyone know how to change my user id? I'm getting tired of typing in my long name. And what is a PM ? Sorry I'm new here.

Pants

So its good to know that you all still feel you want to go home after being here so long. Does anyone know how to change my user id? I'm getting tired of typing in my long name. And what is a PM ? Sorry I'm new here.[/QUOTE]

Hi Tracey and kendodd

Heart wrenching stuff....just wanted to say that I don't think you can change your user ID just re-register and a PM is a private message. Enables you to send messages and receive privately. I may be wrong and I am sure if I am someone will correct me.

As for the homesickness its happens to near on everyone I think but it does seem to be the gals rather then the guys. Maybe something to do with the fact that blokes leave thier families in a sense when they have their own and us gals tend to get more family orientated when we have our own.
I took my babe over to Oz when she was 5mnths old and I was a first time mum...ekkkkkkkk. I didn't suffer too badly at first but always felt homesick around special occassions like my daughters first birthday and having no family there etc. I had a hard time with my husband's( who is aussie born and bred) family which sadly made matters worse. Still I stuck it for 21/2yrs. I was in NSW.I only ever had my mum and best mate out one yr and then another mate and her son came out a few months before we packed up and came home.
I know how hard I found it when my mum and mate went, sobbed for days. It really is not easy and all I can say is for the time that you are there try to make the most of it. Sorry I hope I don't sound matter of fact about it. If you are prepared to stick it out the time will go quickly and at least in the back of your head you know its not forever. I was always in the mind that it was forever as my husband was very adament about us staying there and not affording to come back here. The biggest turnaround was when it was HIM that suggested we do come back.
I never hated Australia and have very happy memories about it. I love being home especially when we have the sunny days like today. I do look back and think I may have done things differently but thats easy when you are not in it. Join as many things as you can Tracey, see it as an adventure and remember that one day you will come home and have memories of Australia so try and make those happy ones.
All the best
P

MrsB

Pants
Did you mean that reply for me...it had my quote at the top ...and yes I'm kendoddsdadsadogsdead....not Tracey!!

Yes I will make the most of my time here, we plan to do lots of things and visit Australia. Everyone you meet here are people who have stayed and thats scary. Because obviously you aren't going to meet people who have gone home, and thats why this forum is good, because you DO get to find out about other people. I am not even close to my mum and dad, and only saw them once every 6 weeks or so, and ditto for the other set of grandparents, but once that is taken away, you realise just how important it is. I suppose in a way I'm scared of growing to like it here, and not wanting to leave, but thats so silly, because the family will still be important in 2 years time, and I already know, I just do, that I can't stay here permanently.

Holly

Tracy , if you were closer , I'd sit you down and make you a cup of tea AND have a large box of hankies on stand by for the departure date.It doesn't get easier but it helps to talk. Stick in there , only 14 months to go !!!!
Virtual hug coming your way . < >
Holly.x

Kath

I really, really sympathise with all those feeling so homesick, I am thinking of you all!

After 2 years in Perth I'm now back in UK and that feeling has finally left, I'm back to normal (well nearly!). Looking back, I knew almost immediately that I couldn't stay long term but just put my feelings down to the huge move we'd made.

I remember saying goodbye to our parents and friends who visited us in Aus and wanting to go with them, it took me days to get over it and motivate myself back into my new life, suddenly the sunshine, big house didn't look so attractive.

Not sure if anyone else experienced this but I found some people who had been away from their home country for many years quite cold and hard towards me, "you'll be alright, get on with it, we've all gone through it... etc" , just no sympathy. They would talk about having to get back to see elderly relatives as if it was a real inconvenience, expense. Maybe that's where the term "Aussie battler" (??) comes from, years ago migrants just had to get on with it and harden up.

Pants

Pants
Did you mean that reply for me...it had my quote at the top ...and yes I'm kendoddsdadsadogsdead....not Tracey!!

.[/QUOTE]

Yes sorry I thought I wrote it to both of you....

P

TraceyW

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies, it's really appreciated.

I have two slight problems though...well, actually they're not so slight. I've not got another 14 months to complete....I've got 3.5 years! :scared: That's when I'll complete my degree, that's when I will be able to say to my hubby "see, we can go back to the UK, I can have a career now, we won't be broke"...Oh, and that's my second problem, the hubby still loves it here, the shine isn't wearing off for him at all, not one little bit, he is a fully fledged member of "The Man Heaven Club"...Beach, Barbi, stubbie holders! They are so bloody shallow aren't they?

As for the in laws going home, that's going to be awful I know, but I've just got to keep my chin up for the kids, they'll be upset enough without their mother falling apart in the departure lounge!

I still want to give myself an almighty kick up the arse for ever doing this in the first place. I must've been having some sort of (nearly) mid life crisis, or a Shirley Valentine moment. I actually wish I had done a Shirley and ended up in Greece, it's a heck of a lot closer to the UK and a hell of a lot bloody cheaper to get home!

Thanks for listening to another whinging Brit having a go about the Land of Plenty....thank God I don't post on the Aus forum, it'd be like being fed to a pack of Aussie blinkered wolves! I feel so sorry for the ones who are still in that planning and dreaming stage, I want to shake them and say "don't do it" but they'll have to find out for themselves that the grass isn't any greener over here.

Pants

Pat yourself on the back for having done it...at least you won't ever be one of those peeps just wishing for it..you did it and good and bad whatever you are here. Don't look at 3.5yrs..just kep on doing what you are doing as best you can. Sorry don't mean to sound so practical I know how you feel. Still you have all us lot...peeps who are heading back and those that are now back like moi.
Take care and keep posting..don't feel alone as you truly are NOT !
Gotto go get titch from pre-school
Bye
P

callé

Tracey, I'm so sorry. You know if you promise to yourself to spend a certain amount of time each week making plans and just thinking about your return then maybe it'll be more real to you and knowing that you are returning you may be better able to enjoy the rest of the time and have happy memories of Oz. So many have said that once they made up their minds and knew the return was real they felt the weight lifted. and dont forget we are all here to listen!

Kendodd, I think I understand what you fear. You hear stories of people who try for years to adjust and then just get to the point they accept it, then they realise they still always wanted to go home and maybe now its too late. I know, I wasted years and years with that. I am happy I'll be returning home later this year but I'll never be able to have back all the years that I could have been there Like I should have been. I dont think a year ever passed that my grandma would tell me she wished we would come home. She has passed now and she will never be able to see me return home. At least if you have a time set, two years, which I really do think is best so you can get citizenship (you never know about the future), then that time will pass before you know it and your options will always remain open.


Hang in there you guys!!

sel

I am a planner and dreamer but without the rose tinted specs on.....I read all posts negative and positive to try and get a balanced view. I sympathise greatly with your situation and do agree with the "grass not greener" but I think if your set on feeling its the right move you have to try and of course the only real way of knowing is to live there.

I do feel however, from reading so many posts similar to yours is that if you have lots of family in the UK and your close and are used to mom ... Dad...MIL etc coming round for lots of visits, babysitting and all those things that are taken for granted then homesickness will be a major problem and really should think long and hard.... you cannot replace family.

I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you and that you can get back home .... in the meantime stay strong, take a deep breath and try and enjoy life as much as you can.

ladyofthelake

Sorry for butting in here. I don't understand why you have to keep typing in your name? Do you mean when you log in? I have mine set to just automatically log in when I arrive, so I never have to type my name.
If you really do want to just chane your name, go to the site feedback area and ask Admin to change it for you. That way you can keep all your previous (10 ) posts. Many people have previously done this.
OK, thank you for listening, homesickness discussions can now continue

Lizzi

Excellent advice for you Tracey. Try and stay positive girl