Leaving California for England after 16 years
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32
Leaving California for England after 16 years
I guess I am writing this post because I need to write out my thoughts. Also, to know if anyone is or was in a similar situation.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
- It's very very very expensive to buy or rent
- Groceries are expensive compared to England. $4 for a loaf of bread? Seriously?
- Going on holiday is expensive to book a hotel or fly.
I am amazed of the cheap deals my dad and brother get to go to Spain, Canaries, Greece etc - I don't see how I can retire here. I would have to live in another state.
- Dating in general is tough at 43. Most people have kids, or don't know what they want or are just too busy. Many people in the bay area have two jobs to make it work. Which is madness.
- Earthquakes, fires and floods
- Underlying tension of the gun culture plays on my mind when going to live events. See today's news about a shooting at a Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA.
- I have no family here
- The friends I have are too busy working or house projects or kids etc
- Healthcare is not free and costs per co pay etc
- I am sick of the attitude towards earning sick days
- I get 15 days vacation which is considered good in America.
My brother just got a new job in London that gives you 30 days + 8 Bank Holiday. My American friend just moved to London and now gets 28 days holiday pay.
This seriously is my biggest gripe with America. It's all work an hardly any play. Corporate slavery.
No wonder so many Americans are seeing therapists or on some kind of medication just to keep going here. They work you to the bone.
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Last edited by essexnick; Jul 29th 2019 at 6:11 pm.
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 9,662
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Loads of folks have gone through the thoughts you are expressing - US citizens thinking of moving out of state because of the issues you have given, never mind Europeans thinking of moving back to Europe.
Every time hubby and I visit the UK/Europe we always have 'homesickness' when we return to the US. We do like a varied climate (sun every day can be extremely boring) and we miss the colour green! Also the culture of Europe. We have a small family in the UK, but a lot of our earlier friends have moved overseas as well.
However, we have been here in SD for 20 years (and are retired) and cannot see ourselves moving back in the near future.
Feeling like you do, and at your age, we WOULD make the move to return.
Every time hubby and I visit the UK/Europe we always have 'homesickness' when we return to the US. We do like a varied climate (sun every day can be extremely boring) and we miss the colour green! Also the culture of Europe. We have a small family in the UK, but a lot of our earlier friends have moved overseas as well.
However, we have been here in SD for 20 years (and are retired) and cannot see ourselves moving back in the near future.
Feeling like you do, and at your age, we WOULD make the move to return.
#3
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 8
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Hi Essex
I totally understand the feelings of loneliness and burnout you're experiencing. You're in a good position now to move back to the UK and be near family and friends. Moving you and your dog back should be straightforward. Have you got a property to sell or any possessions you want to ship? Your vet should be able to help you with the process for sorting out vaccinations / paperwork / microchip if necessary.
I totally understand the feelings of loneliness and burnout you're experiencing. You're in a good position now to move back to the UK and be near family and friends. Moving you and your dog back should be straightforward. Have you got a property to sell or any possessions you want to ship? Your vet should be able to help you with the process for sorting out vaccinations / paperwork / microchip if necessary.
#4
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 711
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
You sound like me 6 years ago! I had gone back to the States to try California - long story, but had previously lived in Wyoming/Minnesota for 8 years before, then Cambridge, UK for 6 and then went to CA and after 3 years I had had enough. My biggest gripe was the complete lack of time. Being a single parent, surviving on 1 week of vacation and 1 week of sick per year wasn't working especially when my daughter became unwell and I needed to use my vacation to take her to appts. Plus when you add on the gun crime and health insurance situation and lack of seasons, after 3 years I was ready to come back. I can honestly say I have my sanity and peace of mind back! Would you come back to Essex? I would say if you are going to do it make the move now. I brought my dog back with me, very easy to do and he flew with us on the same flight back and he is loving being in the countryside :-)
#5
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
When was the last time you went back? If not recently I would do that first, things change and certainly in 16 years change a lot.
Last edited by scrubbedexpat099; Jul 30th 2019 at 12:59 am.
#6
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 946
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I have all those things ... and much more on my list of issues. The natural beauty and superb weather of NorCal can only paste over the cracks for so long. However, Boiler is right, go back to the UK for a bit and see how things feel before committing to move back. I briefly considered moving to London but now with impending Brexit and the Boris fiasco, there's no way I'd make that leap.
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,009
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I guess I am writing this post because I need to write out my thoughts. Also, to know if anyone is or was in a similar situation.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
- It's very very very expensive to buy or rent
- Groceries are expensive compared to England. $4 for a loaf of bread? Seriously?
- Going on holiday is expensive to book a hotel or fly.
I am amazed of the cheap deals my dad and brother get to go to Spain, Canaries, Greece etc - I don't see how I can retire here. I would have to live in another state.
- Dating in general is tough at 43. Most people have kids, or don't know what they want or are just too busy. Many people in the bay area have two jobs to make it work. Which is madness.
- Earthquakes, fires and floods
- Underlying tension of the gun culture plays on my mind when going to live events. See today's news about a shooting at a Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA.
- I have no family here
- The friends I have are too busy working or house projects or kids etc
- Healthcare is not free and costs per co pay etc
- I am sick of the attitude towards earning sick days
- I get 15 days vacation which is considered good in America.
My brother just got a new job in London that gives you 30 days + 8 Bank Holiday. My American friend just moved to London and now gets 28 days holiday pay.
This seriously is my biggest gripe with America. It's all work an hardly any play. Corporate slavery.
No wonder so many Americans are seeing therapists or on some kind of medication just to keep going here. They work you to the bone.
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
you live in expensive part of depending USA, on which part of UK, you might find no savings on property, and i dont find food costs inexpensive in UK
there is of course unknown effect of brexit.
#8
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
I guess I am writing this post because I need to write out my thoughts. Also, to know if anyone is or was in a similar situation.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.
I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:
- It's very very very expensive to buy or rent
- Groceries are expensive compared to England. $4 for a loaf of bread? Seriously?
- Going on holiday is expensive to book a hotel or fly.
I am amazed of the cheap deals my dad and brother get to go to Spain, Canaries, Greece etc - I don't see how I can retire here. I would have to live in another state.
- Dating in general is tough at 43. Most people have kids, or don't know what they want or are just too busy. Many people in the bay area have two jobs to make it work. Which is madness.
- Earthquakes, fires and floods
- Underlying tension of the gun culture plays on my mind when going to live events. See today's news about a shooting at a Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA.
- I have no family here
- The friends I have are too busy working or house projects or kids etc
- Healthcare is not free and costs per co pay etc
- I am sick of the attitude towards earning sick days
- I get 15 days vacation which is considered good in America.
My brother just got a new job in London that gives you 30 days + 8 Bank Holiday. My American friend just moved to London and now gets 28 days holiday pay.
This seriously is my biggest gripe with America. It's all work an hardly any play. Corporate slavery.
No wonder so many Americans are seeing therapists or on some kind of medication just to keep going here. They work you to the bone.
Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.
Ask your employer for more PTO.
Grass is always greener.
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Go for a greener area near the coast, search jobs online (LinkedIn), apply and once you have the job you move. No need to use up the savings.
#10
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Have you considered moving to another state rather than leaving all together? There's another 49 out there to choose from and in most of them your money will go a lot further.
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2017
Location: Newnan, GA
Posts: 802
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Come to Georgia - choose the right bit and it's lovely, or maybe some of the more Cosmopolitan bits of the Carolina's.
The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.
To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.
The Holiday time thing is a real issue, granted, but the right employers will offer more these days, call it the Google impact. Competition for employees means these types of benefits are becoming more sought after.
Healthcare - umm, I'll give the UK that one.
Finally, the kicker, come South of Atlanta and you'll be unique (sort of), the accent will paper over any number of cracks with quite a few. I'm generally not a people person, but they often call me sweet, and no, for those that know, not in a Bless Your Heart type of way :-)
The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.
To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.
The Holiday time thing is a real issue, granted, but the right employers will offer more these days, call it the Google impact. Competition for employees means these types of benefits are becoming more sought after.
Healthcare - umm, I'll give the UK that one.
Finally, the kicker, come South of Atlanta and you'll be unique (sort of), the accent will paper over any number of cracks with quite a few. I'm generally not a people person, but they often call me sweet, and no, for those that know, not in a Bless Your Heart type of way :-)
#13
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Same is also true if you head north and get past Buford
#14
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
Come to Georgia - choose the right bit and it's lovely, or maybe some of the more Cosmopolitan bits of the Carolina's.
The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.
To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.
The Holiday time thing is a real issue, granted, but the right employers will offer more these days, call it the Google impact. Competition for employees means these types of benefits are becoming more sought after.
Healthcare - umm, I'll give the UK that one.
Finally, the kicker, come South of Atlanta and you'll be unique (sort of), the accent will paper over any number of cracks with quite a few. I'm generally not a people person, but they often call me sweet, and no, for those that know, not in a Bless Your Heart type of way :-)
The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.
To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.
The Holiday time thing is a real issue, granted, but the right employers will offer more these days, call it the Google impact. Competition for employees means these types of benefits are becoming more sought after.
Healthcare - umm, I'll give the UK that one.
Finally, the kicker, come South of Atlanta and you'll be unique (sort of), the accent will paper over any number of cracks with quite a few. I'm generally not a people person, but they often call me sweet, and no, for those that know, not in a Bless Your Heart type of way :-)
#15
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 946
Re: Leaving California for England after 16 years
The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.
To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.
Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.
Last edited by sherbert; Jul 31st 2019 at 6:10 pm. Reason: fixing html