Originally Posted by Sewing Susan

Oh thankyou for your replys. I am in a real tiss. Mil doesn, t want us to stay with her at all, ( she lives near one of the schools. ) grace likes the first school , ed may struggle , he has HfA, went to see a long term friend last night, she told it how she saw it, shouldn, t have left uk in first place, howcould I have left my mother, how can I retufn now and potentially split the family up ? Says the whole family should stay together where ever that is, and how could I think of coming over a few months at a time to look after my mother and leave my family in canada, bottom line, she thinks I have made all the wrong decisions, and the future decisions aren, t clever either. I was so upset, sat up and cried most on night.

Take on board about uni, I had suggested to daughter she stay in canada till british uni, then she will be setting up on her own anyway, ie in residence etc. I think my son would struggle in a levels in uk, if we started in 2 years. I wish dh hubby had come too.

Originally Posted by Spacecake799

Hi,
Sorry it all sounds so difficult. It sounds like you can afford to pay private school fees? If not why not find a good state school which is free.
Your daughter could always get a job for a year when school finishes to take her to the 3 year mark. How about your son going back a year if you think he will struggle?
It sounds like your friend is not such a friend after all. We all do things with the best of intentions. We don't always get them right or maybe how we expected.
We moved to New Zealand with 3 children 6 years ago. We thought it would be a good move. It wasn't quite as we hoped so we decided to come back. Trouble was our daughter had just met a boy and asked us to wait to see how it went. So our oldest son finished year 13 and flew home to my sisters where he still lives and attends sixth form college.
3 years on my husband and youngest son left NZ last July ready for the start of the school year here in September. I stayed with our daughter while she finished school and sorted everything there.
I returned in December and we have left our lovely daughter in NZ attending Uni. She is still with the bf and we can only hope one day they choose to join us.
So we messed up big time as well, our family aren't together, but we are where we each want to be. We love being back and exploring Yorkshire.
Good luck with what you decide

Originally Posted by Sewing Susan

We have been in calgary. For 5 years, Husband done well in career, I have mostly enjoyed the time, but we got to thinking about our retirement, in say 9 years time. Dh has always said he didn, t connect with anybody here, he had a few friends in uk, he hates the winter and broke his leg badly skiing 2 yrs ago -we will not be doing any winter sports etc.He has said quite often, but I had not listened, the country is too big, driving too much. The kids have been ok, then my daughter age 16, went to uk on her own a few weeks ago. We told her when she came back that we were wanting to go back to uk when retired. Her reaction amazed us, she felt she never wants to be in another country from us, always wants us in her life, we should go back now so she and her younger brother can be resettled, finish school uni, and she listed tons of wonderful things about the uk.

So we are in uk doing a school investigation, private schools in yorkshire, trying 3 different school taster days in. A week, guess what they both loved the first school (strong 1st runner).Well,grace will be in lower 6th in sept 2013, looks like we will have to pay int student fees, if she does social arts course, how much extra would that be? I don, t know how to get around this, she has 2 years of further ed to go.

I am worried about dh trying to get job, in banking, he will use his contacts, but will not be earning the salary he is in canada. But we may do well through the curr exchange, I feel this move is a little early for me and dh, but daughter has. Got good points, ix it best to go back now, as a complete family, but unsure of house sale and job, I can see timing to start a levels in sept, and gcses for son , would be easier than try to move in 2 years, son, starting a levels and daughter starting uni

I miss my mum too, she is not in brilliant health, puts a brave face on it, but I would love to look after her in the short term, she is 81, if I wait another 2 yrs , will that be time wasted .

Sue

Originally Posted by tribec

Hi Sue,
we also live in the Calgary / Dewinton area and have pretty much the same situation. My son is finishing grade 11 and daughter is finishing grade 9. Last summer my father in law had an awful accident and was in hospital for a long time. My wife went back home and I was left holding the fort so to speak. My wife did not want to come back, my son wanted to stay in Canada to finish high school and my daughter wasn't bothered either way.
We looked into every possible solution for the situation and in the end everyone decided on remaining in Canada. My son has just put his UCAS application in to attend university back in England ($38k a year) and my daughter is looking to France ($1100). With that, my wife will not be apart from her children so we will make our family home back there then. With my company, my work is in the US so I travel lots anyway. It doesn't matter whether I start in Calgary or the UK
I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you, just wanted to let you know that there are loads of us in the same situation for a host of different reasons. Ours was initially family illness but now has grown into a panoply of reasons. (We actually can't wait to leave). As with you, family and friends back home are as much use as a chocolate fireguard (God love them). Some say stay you are mad to come home, some are crying and begging us to come home and some are saying both in the same sentence.
At the end of it all, keeping your family together, where you all respect each others decisions and are happy is the end goal. I hope you can find yours.

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse

What a lovely post tribec