I'm new here, but guess my story is not particularly unique...

I married a US citizen and moved to the New England area 10 years ago. We've been living here for 10 years and have a 3 yr old child together. I have enjoyed US culture, the cost of living, size of houses, US sports, less bureaucratic workplace culture, etc. I even love the New England weather! But I have a sneaky feeling that I've enjoyed the last 10 years still in tourist mode - if that makes sense. We have no close friends here and feel isolated. Recently my UK family visited and now I'm thinking I would like to return to the UK to live. Both me and my OH had a great time with my family while they visited and we have a much better relationship with them than our US family. I realize that a vacation is very different to the every day living, but I'm feeling like friends and family are more important than big cars/houses and unbridled capitalism... if we make the move back, I think it needs to be soon; before my child enters the school system.

At the same time, if we did make the jump, I worry that our standard of living would drop and that the parts of British culture that bug me would actually come back to haunt me. My OH has spent a year in the UK previously and liked it, and I have not discussed the thought of returning with them. I guess I'm feeling lost, alone and "home" sick.

Any thoughts, experiences, opinions, words of encouragement, etc. welcome.

A few questions:

1 - Approx. how much more (as a percentage) would I need to earn to maintain the US standard of living in the UK?
2 - What's the best way to deal with housing; sell the US house and live in a short term rental before flying back or selling the house after we leave?
3 - I'm not sure we have the money to make the move back even if we wanted to. Reading other posts here, it seems like we would need quite a chunk of change to cover moving, freight, house hunt, visas, etc. Approx. what does a move back cost all-in-all?
4 - Has anyone written or posted a step-by-step of moving back?

Thanks,

MDR

Do you have work sorted out over there? And which part of the country are you looking at?

We've not even begun to think about looking for work yet, it's more of a question of if we should even consider the move. I work as a graphic designer. My OH works as a Social Worker and would probably be paid a little more than here in the US. Plus, there could be a chance of a relocation package within the field I guess.

We would most likely be looking to move to the South (Hampshire).

Have you considered the possibility that it seems you get on better with your UK family because when you only see them on rare occasions, it is easier to get on/a "holiday relationship"? There have been lots of MBTTUK threads about returning to the UK for family, only to find that within a short time, family visits are few and far between...

What part of the Uk are you looking at?
We just moved from the UK (Manchester area) to Canada and in the moment I wouldn't go back even tho we have family there.
One of the mums I met here just moved from the Portsmouth area and she thinks the same. She said "watching some english programs on the iplayer always reassures her that moving away was the right decision".
After the recession jobs are hard to find in some areas and to buy a house you'll need quite a deposit.
It depends on your standard of living in the US but you might need a lot more to have the same standard in the UK.
Maybe you should fly over for a couple weeks, have a walk round the areas you could afford to live, have a look at the schools your child might attend, go to the shops where you would buy your food and see if you really like it and want your child to grow up or if you just miss your family.
As far as I am concerned I do miss family, friends and English humour but thinkink of the areas we could afford back in the UK etc. it's nothing to what we have here.
Good luck with your decision

It's kind of chicken and egg isn't it? Without knowing what work is available and where it's hard to compare how you'd get on. We were considering a move this year as my husband had a job offer and we were trying to weigh up the same kind of factors. The biggest problem for us was that we would have lost a lot on the house we bought here, whereas house prices back in the West Midlands appeared to have shot up. It's a balance of many factors such as cultural familiarity and 'social security'/health as well as $$$. From your initial post it sounds like the 'pull' to the UK isn't extremely strong for you.

I think it's hard to say because it depends on where you live now and where you're going.

I suggest making a list of all your outgoings here, then doing some research through friends and family as to how much those same things cost in England. Then you'll know how much you would need to earn.

I admit I'm a bit anal, but I have done a lot of detailed budgeting. I even had a tax projection done by a UK accountant so I could compare the two.

I found that some things cost about the same, some are a bit more expensive in the UK, but there are some huge expenses that would be less or non-existent in the UK (e.g. property taxes are way lower and there's no need to spend thousands of dollars a year on health care). Plus, house prices where I live are pretty similar to UK prices - but all this is because I happen to live in one of the most expensive parts of the US and would be heading to the north of England. If I was going down south it would be tougher.

If you've not got your US citizenship, you should normally get that before you leave.

Also, make sure you child has a British consular birth certificate as well as a UK passport. If you were not born in Britain, then you may need to make additional application to get British citizenship for the child.

I'd go with the big car/house and unbridled capitalism every time.

Well it has to suit someone or it wouldn't have survived right?

Unless I missed it, the OP didn't say what sex they were. I'm guessing it's a he, and one factor is that women in general are less happy about leaving their family and friends. It's a socio-bio thing going back to hunter-gatherers -- the women supported and helped each other while the men were off hunting the mastodon.

In addition, Americans move to live abroad much less frequently than some other countries, especially European ones. They have a lot of variety within their own borders, but also a rooted sense that America is IT.

If I'm right, fly the vague idea past her now to see if there's any possibility before wasting any more energy.

Comparing living standards is tricky. If you really, really want a big house, yes it's going to cost you more in the UK than in most parts of North America. If you really really want to live in a village-style community, it's easier over here than there. If you want cheap cars and fuel, one thing. If you want decent public transport, another.

Bev