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I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Old Oct 21st 2007, 1:56 am
  #1  
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Unhappy I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

I,ve finally made a decision and my Son returns to the Uk on Tuesday..hopefully it won,t belong before me and his sister join him,my OH has decided to stay ,and has ignored both me and our son since Friday when we informed him that we could not stay any longer..it wouldn,t have come as a surprise because he has known since August that we were not happy and wanted to go,he wouldn,t even spend today with us so we could make it a special time for our son with it being their last day together..he goes back to work tomorrow he hasn,t even had the time off to accompany us down to brisbane and see him on to the flight.I,m worried for my son flying all that way alone i know he,s 15 but still he,s my baby..it also upsets me as he thinks his dad hates him as his dad keeps pointing out we,re ruining his life by going back to the uk.All in all i will not stay where my son is miserable and spends all his spare time on the pc..and i feel alone even when i,m with people i just haven,t clicked here and long for home even more so when a part of me leaves on Tuesday.Any advice on how to deal with a stubborn sulky OH i understand why he so upset as our daughter is only 2,but he has no regard for our feelings...its just gonna be awful here alone without my Son and stuck with a miserable OH who i only see at weekends..i need to get my fflights booked so i can feel some sense of releif..That,ll be a joke i had to ask my dad for the money to send our son home because his dad was making it so hard i think he thought if he made it awkward we would leave it again and stay sooooo wrong.
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 2:02 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

God that is really sad
Isn't it ironic that people decide to emigrate to better their lives and then it turns out like this?

I don't really know what else to say, but despite what your husband may be showing from the outside, I bet he is hurting inside just as bad as you. I cannot imagine being separated from my two children, no country is that important...
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 2:08 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Originally Posted by jilla411
I,ve finally made a decision ...................his dad was making it so hard i think he thought if he made it awkward we would leave it again and stay sooooo wrong.
So sorry to hear you are finding yourself in this difficult situation. I'm sure your son will be fine on the flight - one of mine travelled on his own the first time when he was 9 and lived to tell the tale!

I know this is an incredibly sad and stressful time for you, but at least it appears that you do not have to deal with a husband who refuses to let his children return to the UK, which has happened to some mothers who were desperate to return and found themselves stuck for this reason.

Since your mind seems made up, I would leave asap. Put the cost of the flights on a credit card. Getting into debt is not something I would normally recommend, but in your case it would probably make sense. No point in prolonging the agony.

Wishing you all the best during these tough times.
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 10:06 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Originally Posted by jilla411
I,ve finally made a decision and my Son returns to the Uk on Tuesday..hopefully it won,t belong before me and his sister join him,my OH has decided to stay ,and has ignored both me and our son since Friday when we informed him that we could not stay any longer..it wouldn,t have come as a surprise because he has known since August that we were not happy and wanted to go,he wouldn,t even spend today with us so we could make it a special time for our son with it being their last day together..he goes back to work tomorrow he hasn,t even had the time off to accompany us down to brisbane and see him on to the flight.I,m worried for my son flying all that way alone i know he,s 15 but still he,s my baby..it also upsets me as he thinks his dad hates him as his dad keeps pointing out we,re ruining his life by going back to the uk.All in all i will not stay where my son is miserable and spends all his spare time on the pc..and i feel alone even when i,m with people i just haven,t clicked here and long for home even more so when a part of me leaves on Tuesday.Any advice on how to deal with a stubborn sulky OH i understand why he so upset as our daughter is only 2,but he has no regard for our feelings...its just gonna be awful here alone without my Son and stuck with a miserable OH who i only see at weekends..i need to get my fflights booked so i can feel some sense of releif..That,ll be a joke i had to ask my dad for the money to send our son home because his dad was making it so hard i think he thought if he made it awkward we would leave it again and stay sooooo wrong.
Hi there

Just wanted to offer a msg of support, I really feel for you and your family. I headed back to the UK in January 07 with both our children as I felt so absolutely unhappy here and to put myself out of the 'picture' in Oz. This was the best thing I could have done, although it hurt us all as a family, it has brought us closer. At the time, my OH seemed OK about it but looking back it was a very difficult time for him too, he just covered it up well. I think it's so very sad that what is meant to be a great new life for some, ends up causing far more stress and upset than life in the UK. It can be so very hard emigrating for some. I really hope for you and your family that things work out for you. I'm sure your son will be OK and if it helps, it helped me greatly to go back to the UK, I think if you are so unhappy here it is hard for you to see anything other than going back to the UK, I know, it was on my mind constantly.
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 11:17 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

hi there
i really feel for you we as a family are in a simalar position myself and my daughter are not happy here and want to go home but my oh really likes it here and wants to stay so i know exactly what you are going through as we have been having major arguments and disscussions and then not talking to each other and lots of tears and think of all the money we have spent to get here but i guess at the end of the day if you are not happy what are you to do you cant make yourself like it here everybody is different its certainly a rollercoaster of emotions i hope you find a solution soon try to keep your chin up
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 12:49 pm
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Hi Jilla411

I am really sorry it has not worked out for you

Good luck in what ever happens from now on.

Take care

Lindzi xxxx
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 1:28 pm
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

I feel reeally sorry for you!!! it a horrible situation to be in!!.

When you take your son to the airport you can ask for a chaparone for him. All you have to do is fill in a form and give them the details of whoever is picking him up at the other end. They will stay with him and makes sure he is passed to the correct person. We sent our 15 year old daughter back a few years ago like that, makes you feel a bit happir, they really look after the kids, my daughter said there was about 4 of them of similar age so they all sat together on the plane.

Its very sad when this happens, my OH was determined to stay here but after 2 1/2 years we are going back. The only sad bit is now our eldest daughter is staying here by herself she moved out at the weekend and the house feels empty (and tidy LOL)....

All the best for you at least you will be reunited with your son soon, and you never know your OH might realise you all mean more to him than living in "paradise"...

Good luck

Kath
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 2:00 pm
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Originally Posted by jilla411
I,ve finally made a decision and my Son returns to the Uk on Tuesday..hopefully it won,t belong before me and his sister join him,my OH has decided to stay ,and has ignored both me and our son since Friday when we informed him that we could not stay any longer..it wouldn,t have come as a surprise because he has known since August that we were not happy and wanted to go,he wouldn,t even spend today with us so we could make it a special time for our son with it being their last day together..he goes back to work tomorrow he hasn,t even had the time off to accompany us down to brisbane and see him on to the flight.I,m worried for my son flying all that way alone i know he,s 15 but still he,s my baby..it also upsets me as he thinks his dad hates him as his dad keeps pointing out we,re ruining his life by going back to the uk.All in all i will not stay where my son is miserable and spends all his spare time on the pc..and i feel alone even when i,m with people i just haven,t clicked here and long for home even more so when a part of me leaves on Tuesday.Any advice on how to deal with a stubborn sulky OH i understand why he so upset as our daughter is only 2,but he has no regard for our feelings...its just gonna be awful here alone without my Son and stuck with a miserable OH who i only see at weekends..i need to get my fflights booked so i can feel some sense of releif..That,ll be a joke i had to ask my dad for the money to send our son home because his dad was making it so hard i think he thought if he made it awkward we would leave it again and stay sooooo wrong.


oh my goodness what an extremely sad and desperate post , i feel really sad for you, i am never good at advice, but have you tried writing things down and giving it to your husband as it sounds like he isn't hearing how desperately low you have become.

As for your son travellin alone, my 15 year old daughter flew from aus to uk (very different circumstances from you though), we booked her in usuing the young person travelling alone service offered by emirates, she was absolutley fine,and on the last leg of the flight from dubai to glasgow the steward moved her up to business class and she got off with a bunch off free toiletries, she had a great flight.
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Thank you all for your support and kind words it has really helped using this site to vent my feelings..in a stange way it does offer releif to get it out in the open and off my chest.

Jill
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 6:13 pm
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Jill you poor thing - you must be absolutely out of your mind. It's bad enough when your dreams turn sour but to have to contend with a sulking hubby just adds to your woes. He is more than likely hurting like mad inside - it must be so frustrating when you love it and your family hate it and there isn't anything you can do to change things. I truly feel for anyone in this situation - I found it hard enough and so emotionally draining and we were all in agreement!

Your son will be fine travelling - they are more grown up than we like to think, but as a parent it's only natural to worry. You now need to concentrate on yourself and make plans to get yourself and your daughter home as soon as possible. Can any family help you at all?

I do hope that your husband soon realises that his family is far more important that any country.

Good luck and stay strong
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 2:04 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Jill, so sorry for your awful situation.
Very best wishes with your choices & hopefully your OH will see sense.

Karma sent!

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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 2:15 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

I really hope everything works out for you. This happens more than people imagine - family set of for a new life and it ends up tearing them apart.

I'm sending you karma and hope everyone else who reads this thread will do the same so Jill knows that we are with her. Come on fill those boxes with karma and let's put a smile on Jill's face.

Last edited by Joe King; Oct 23rd 2007 at 2:20 am.
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 2:21 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

similar situation to mine but the wife will be probably staying with the kids,I don't know your family but I would think this maybe tearing your OH up just as much as you.I know me and the wife as well as our 18 yr old are devastated right now.
I can fully understand where you are coming from and when you think it can't be any worse then think about not having the kids with you as well,life really sucks sometimes but I guess if nobody cared we all wouldn't be hurting.
Good luck and stick with your decision
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 3:10 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

Hi Jill,

Just read your post and obviously your son has now flown, but I wished I had read it before to give a tiny bit of advice from first hand experience.

I tend to go into a sulk like your OH and will ignore a member/s of the family, and did just that a few weeks ago with our eldest girl (14), when she did something that made me fume (to say the least!). After about 5 days of completely ignoring her, she wrote me a letter and posted it to my office.

The letter including an apology, but most touching was she wrote that if something happened to one of us and we were not talking, how must the other feel - and that hit the nail on the head! Nothing is more important than family and your OH must realise that, but perhaps needs a 'little prompting' from similar material that I recently experienced.

Best wishes.
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Old Oct 24th 2007, 9:14 am
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Default Re: I,m sending my 15 Year old son home alone

What a horrid situation you find yourself in! First off, your son will be fine! We have sent our sons on their own at various times in their lives - DS1 flew to UK and back on his own at 9 and had a great time.

My situation isnt the same because I have become rather attached to DH and I wont leave him but that means I stay here when I would much rather not! It isnt easy but, then, leaving him would be a whole lot harder! In our discussions we always come around to - one of us is going to be unhappy where we live so which of us is it going to be??? I/We manage because I go home when I need/want to for trips.

Your DH is seeing the gradual destruction of his family and is probably quite unable to handle it - you do need to clear the air though, somehow - have you thought of going to a counsellor to help you all through whatever decisions you are all making? They may not be able to solve the problem but they may be able to minimize the fall out.

Good luck!
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