I have made a descion and it feels great!
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
I have made a descion and it feels great!
After being in Canada for 20 months, we have never settled and always felt very much out of place here and not happy.
My husband felt this right from day one, but myself being a full time mum saw another side with the kids and activities and outdoor play etc!!
So the conversation on most evenings revolve around the advantages/disadvantages of Canada and the UK.
I decided to go back to where we used to live for a week with my eldest and came back just back a couple days ago.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and for once i can see full clarity in my head of where as a family we need to be!
The UK is where i definately want to be and cannot wait to start the process, so we can get back to our fab wee yorkshire village!
I really took the time to look at people, the weather, chav's, traffic, housing, etc etc, and even though nowhere is perfect where we lived is beautiful. Surrounded by the Yorkshire Dales, we took my sisters dog for walks on Ilkley Moor, the weather was ok, took a trip up into Grassington and went into a lovely tearoom where the staff and people around us were friendly and were able to have a bit of banter with.
I went into Leeds shoppping OMG!!!! Oh how i had missed people who dressed up a little to go to lunch, people having belly laughs with their friends, shops that were fab, vibrant, busy, restaurants that were packed.
There was a nice mix of people, yes of course some were a little bit left to be desired but thats obviously normal!
What i loved about being back was just the simplicity of walking round to the shop to grab a sandwich, bumping into someone i knew in the park, being able to walk to my friends house, to my sisters house, to my daughters friends house, walking back from the pub after quizz night with my sis!
Being able to go for a run up in the hills away from everyone apart from the sheep and cows!!
I also realised (something that suprised me), that i did not miss the humid weather back here, its much easier leaving the house and getting on with stuff when your not bombarded with 35 degrees of heat.
I'm sure when we are back full time, there will be days when we miss seeing the beautiful blue skies, but its not the bee all and end all!
So, after rambling on, i feel very happy that i have a clear head of where we need to be to continue with a happy life.
Canada is for some people and thats great, but for us we will be happy to come visit family here for a holiday and then get back to the land of the living
My husband felt this right from day one, but myself being a full time mum saw another side with the kids and activities and outdoor play etc!!
So the conversation on most evenings revolve around the advantages/disadvantages of Canada and the UK.
I decided to go back to where we used to live for a week with my eldest and came back just back a couple days ago.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and for once i can see full clarity in my head of where as a family we need to be!
The UK is where i definately want to be and cannot wait to start the process, so we can get back to our fab wee yorkshire village!
I really took the time to look at people, the weather, chav's, traffic, housing, etc etc, and even though nowhere is perfect where we lived is beautiful. Surrounded by the Yorkshire Dales, we took my sisters dog for walks on Ilkley Moor, the weather was ok, took a trip up into Grassington and went into a lovely tearoom where the staff and people around us were friendly and were able to have a bit of banter with.
I went into Leeds shoppping OMG!!!! Oh how i had missed people who dressed up a little to go to lunch, people having belly laughs with their friends, shops that were fab, vibrant, busy, restaurants that were packed.
There was a nice mix of people, yes of course some were a little bit left to be desired but thats obviously normal!
What i loved about being back was just the simplicity of walking round to the shop to grab a sandwich, bumping into someone i knew in the park, being able to walk to my friends house, to my sisters house, to my daughters friends house, walking back from the pub after quizz night with my sis!
Being able to go for a run up in the hills away from everyone apart from the sheep and cows!!
I also realised (something that suprised me), that i did not miss the humid weather back here, its much easier leaving the house and getting on with stuff when your not bombarded with 35 degrees of heat.
I'm sure when we are back full time, there will be days when we miss seeing the beautiful blue skies, but its not the bee all and end all!
So, after rambling on, i feel very happy that i have a clear head of where we need to be to continue with a happy life.
Canada is for some people and thats great, but for us we will be happy to come visit family here for a holiday and then get back to the land of the living
#2
Banned
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 159
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
I have found, from reading other people's views about having left the UK, depends to a huge extent on what kind of life they had in the UK before they left, how many friends they had, how close they were to their family, how social they are and of course, how much they really like the UK, warts and all.
You haven't said what led you to go to Canada, but if you feel that you have been "deprived" by leaving the UK and that you only went somewhere else for, say, work reasons, it is to be expected that you will feel unhappy and longing to return in the foreign land.
It also makes a difference if the move overseas occurred as a result of a "take it or be unemployed" situation and so being forced into emigrating can be seen in a resentful light and the desire to assimilate into the new location made infinitely harder.
There is of course the well known fact that if you like what you grew up with and strongly identify with that (similar to the way you bonded with your mother), it will be hard to transfer such feelings to another place, whatever or wherever it is.
I hope you will be happy once again and its a shame it didn't work out for you.
You haven't said what led you to go to Canada, but if you feel that you have been "deprived" by leaving the UK and that you only went somewhere else for, say, work reasons, it is to be expected that you will feel unhappy and longing to return in the foreign land.
It also makes a difference if the move overseas occurred as a result of a "take it or be unemployed" situation and so being forced into emigrating can be seen in a resentful light and the desire to assimilate into the new location made infinitely harder.
There is of course the well known fact that if you like what you grew up with and strongly identify with that (similar to the way you bonded with your mother), it will be hard to transfer such feelings to another place, whatever or wherever it is.
I hope you will be happy once again and its a shame it didn't work out for you.
Last edited by Volt61; Aug 4th 2010 at 5:38 pm.
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 220
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
If I may - how old are your children? My kids were in school in Oakville for a while.
We are planning to move back - finally got my hubby on board. We are also on our way back to yorkshire, how did you child feel being there?
My mind is all a flutter and looking for feed back - i love what you have typed so far!
Reeni
We are planning to move back - finally got my hubby on board. We are also on our way back to yorkshire, how did you child feel being there?
My mind is all a flutter and looking for feed back - i love what you have typed so far!
Reeni
#4
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
It must feel good to have made the decision, now all the work starts to get it done. Hope it all goes smoothly, have you set a date?
#5
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
To answer the above posts. There were various reasons why we left the UK.
My background was growing up very close to where we left, however i had also lived in different parts of the country in my late teens/early twenties. I also did the whole camp America thing a few times. I'd always had the desire to live in a different country but weirdly enough not Canada (even though my Mums family are all in Canada)
My husbands situation was, he had been moved around a lot as a kid and always craved getting back to his roots (which he finally did in his mid twenties with me in our village), he was also from the same area.
We settled well into our lives in Yorkshire, had friends that we have known for 20 years, plus many other friends and family. We had our 3 kids there and were happy (apart from the obvious - weather, traffic etc)
Then My husbands work (sales) wasn't going well. At the same time his family (who had been living about 20 mins away) all emmigrated to Ontario. That was his parents and sisters. At the same time the housing market was crashing and we had just sold our house just before that happened.
So, we were living in rented, job rubbish, decided to get citizenship for the kids just in case, then followed through with PR for him. An opportunity came up for my husband to set a Canadian part of the UK business he had come from, so we took it and arrived!!!
We should have known from the outset that it wasn;t right as we searched high and low for areas to live in and none of them made us think 'this is the place'!
We ended up in Oakville purley because we had been living with inlaws for 6 weeks and they wanted us out! A house came up here and we took it!!
I think its a lesson to people, that we didn't fully appreciate what we had, we had no real desire to live in Canada - just myself having a desire to try something new! My sisters who have also had similar thoughts about emmigrating are thanking me as we have saved THEM a lot of money!!
So, to the OP, my daughter who came back with me is 8. She loved being back, she has always kept in touch with her friends and still misses them. Here, she has really struggled to enjoy school and make solid friends. She came from a 350 person school to one with over 800 people.
She was so back at home i was really pleased. She doesn;t care that that there is no ice =skating, no lakes to jump in - she was just as happy to go billberry picking up on the moor!
On the last day, she said she was saving all her pocket money up to get back to England!!
Having said that, kids are happy wherever there parents are. Before i made my descion, i had all the worry about the fact that Oakille does have a ton of facilities for kids, safe streets, no chavvy teens etc, then after going back it all became clear - so does where i came from. There are enough activities for kids that i can afford anyway and being around solid friends/family/close community is so more important to me than i realised.
So the next step is, starting to make a plan to get out. A lot of descions to be made with regards to hubby's business as it is doing very well hete!
We are looking at another year to get everything sorted.
My background was growing up very close to where we left, however i had also lived in different parts of the country in my late teens/early twenties. I also did the whole camp America thing a few times. I'd always had the desire to live in a different country but weirdly enough not Canada (even though my Mums family are all in Canada)
My husbands situation was, he had been moved around a lot as a kid and always craved getting back to his roots (which he finally did in his mid twenties with me in our village), he was also from the same area.
We settled well into our lives in Yorkshire, had friends that we have known for 20 years, plus many other friends and family. We had our 3 kids there and were happy (apart from the obvious - weather, traffic etc)
Then My husbands work (sales) wasn't going well. At the same time his family (who had been living about 20 mins away) all emmigrated to Ontario. That was his parents and sisters. At the same time the housing market was crashing and we had just sold our house just before that happened.
So, we were living in rented, job rubbish, decided to get citizenship for the kids just in case, then followed through with PR for him. An opportunity came up for my husband to set a Canadian part of the UK business he had come from, so we took it and arrived!!!
We should have known from the outset that it wasn;t right as we searched high and low for areas to live in and none of them made us think 'this is the place'!
We ended up in Oakville purley because we had been living with inlaws for 6 weeks and they wanted us out! A house came up here and we took it!!
I think its a lesson to people, that we didn't fully appreciate what we had, we had no real desire to live in Canada - just myself having a desire to try something new! My sisters who have also had similar thoughts about emmigrating are thanking me as we have saved THEM a lot of money!!
So, to the OP, my daughter who came back with me is 8. She loved being back, she has always kept in touch with her friends and still misses them. Here, she has really struggled to enjoy school and make solid friends. She came from a 350 person school to one with over 800 people.
She was so back at home i was really pleased. She doesn;t care that that there is no ice =skating, no lakes to jump in - she was just as happy to go billberry picking up on the moor!
On the last day, she said she was saving all her pocket money up to get back to England!!
Having said that, kids are happy wherever there parents are. Before i made my descion, i had all the worry about the fact that Oakille does have a ton of facilities for kids, safe streets, no chavvy teens etc, then after going back it all became clear - so does where i came from. There are enough activities for kids that i can afford anyway and being around solid friends/family/close community is so more important to me than i realised.
So the next step is, starting to make a plan to get out. A lot of descions to be made with regards to hubby's business as it is doing very well hete!
We are looking at another year to get everything sorted.
#6
Lost in Space
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Stockport, Cheshire, UK
Posts: 804
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
To answer the above posts. There were various reasons why we left the UK.
My background was growing up very close to where we left, however i had also lived in different parts of the country in my late teens/early twenties. I also did the whole camp America thing a few times. I'd always had the desire to live in a different country but weirdly enough not Canada (even though my Mums family are all in Canada)
My husbands situation was, he had been moved around a lot as a kid and always craved getting back to his roots (which he finally did in his mid twenties with me in our village), he was also from the same area.
We settled well into our lives in Yorkshire, had friends that we have known for 20 years, plus many other friends and family. We had our 3 kids there and were happy (apart from the obvious - weather, traffic etc)
Then My husbands work (sales) wasn't going well. At the same time his family (who had been living about 20 mins away) all emmigrated to Ontario. That was his parents and sisters. At the same time the housing market was crashing and we had just sold our house just before that happened.
So, we were living in rented, job rubbish, decided to get citizenship for the kids just in case, then followed through with PR for him. An opportunity came up for my husband to set a Canadian part of the UK business he had come from, so we took it and arrived!!!
We should have known from the outset that it wasn;t right as we searched high and low for areas to live in and none of them made us think 'this is the place'!
We ended up in Oakville purley because we had been living with inlaws for 6 weeks and they wanted us out! A house came up here and we took it!!
I think its a lesson to people, that we didn't fully appreciate what we had, we had no real desire to live in Canada - just myself having a desire to try something new! My sisters who have also had similar thoughts about emmigrating are thanking me as we have saved THEM a lot of money!!
So, to the OP, my daughter who came back with me is 8. She loved being back, she has always kept in touch with her friends and still misses them. Here, she has really struggled to enjoy school and make solid friends. She came from a 350 person school to one with over 800 people.
She was so back at home i was really pleased. She doesn;t care that that there is no ice =skating, no lakes to jump in - she was just as happy to go billberry picking up on the moor!
On the last day, she said she was saving all her pocket money up to get back to England!!
Having said that, kids are happy wherever there parents are. Before i made my descion, i had all the worry about the fact that Oakille does have a ton of facilities for kids, safe streets, no chavvy teens etc, then after going back it all became clear - so does where i came from. There are enough activities for kids that i can afford anyway and being around solid friends/family/close community is so more important to me than i realised.
So the next step is, starting to make a plan to get out. A lot of descions to be made with regards to hubby's business as it is doing very well hete!
We are looking at another year to get everything sorted.
My background was growing up very close to where we left, however i had also lived in different parts of the country in my late teens/early twenties. I also did the whole camp America thing a few times. I'd always had the desire to live in a different country but weirdly enough not Canada (even though my Mums family are all in Canada)
My husbands situation was, he had been moved around a lot as a kid and always craved getting back to his roots (which he finally did in his mid twenties with me in our village), he was also from the same area.
We settled well into our lives in Yorkshire, had friends that we have known for 20 years, plus many other friends and family. We had our 3 kids there and were happy (apart from the obvious - weather, traffic etc)
Then My husbands work (sales) wasn't going well. At the same time his family (who had been living about 20 mins away) all emmigrated to Ontario. That was his parents and sisters. At the same time the housing market was crashing and we had just sold our house just before that happened.
So, we were living in rented, job rubbish, decided to get citizenship for the kids just in case, then followed through with PR for him. An opportunity came up for my husband to set a Canadian part of the UK business he had come from, so we took it and arrived!!!
We should have known from the outset that it wasn;t right as we searched high and low for areas to live in and none of them made us think 'this is the place'!
We ended up in Oakville purley because we had been living with inlaws for 6 weeks and they wanted us out! A house came up here and we took it!!
I think its a lesson to people, that we didn't fully appreciate what we had, we had no real desire to live in Canada - just myself having a desire to try something new! My sisters who have also had similar thoughts about emmigrating are thanking me as we have saved THEM a lot of money!!
So, to the OP, my daughter who came back with me is 8. She loved being back, she has always kept in touch with her friends and still misses them. Here, she has really struggled to enjoy school and make solid friends. She came from a 350 person school to one with over 800 people.
She was so back at home i was really pleased. She doesn;t care that that there is no ice =skating, no lakes to jump in - she was just as happy to go billberry picking up on the moor!
On the last day, she said she was saving all her pocket money up to get back to England!!
Having said that, kids are happy wherever there parents are. Before i made my descion, i had all the worry about the fact that Oakille does have a ton of facilities for kids, safe streets, no chavvy teens etc, then after going back it all became clear - so does where i came from. There are enough activities for kids that i can afford anyway and being around solid friends/family/close community is so more important to me than i realised.
So the next step is, starting to make a plan to get out. A lot of descions to be made with regards to hubby's business as it is doing very well hete!
We are looking at another year to get everything sorted.
I'm just delighted for you.
#7
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
Hello just read this and even though I'm about to move half way round the other side of the world and can't wait - I love the Yorkshire Dales and actually Yorkshire/UK in general, the UK really is wonderful in so many ways. Being overseas is not for everyone but at least you tried it out and gave it a go. There's nothing wrong with coming home and knowing what it is you want and bless your daughter for putting her pocket money aside that made me well up.
Have a great trip back
Have a great trip back
#8
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
Yeah PK. So happy for you. Your post brought a wee tear to my eye. We've had a super stressful time of late and I was wondering if it was all worth it. Reading your post reminded me of the reason we're going back and there are so, so many!
I'm just delighted for you.
I'm just delighted for you.
Its weird, cos i have been in a dilemma for so long, then a fog lifted and all became quite clear! Bit like how my husband has felt from day dot! - Typical woman!
Keep in touch and let us know how its all going - may be going to u for advise soon enough!
#9
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 42
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
I have been in the U.S. 15 years but, after having my first child last fall, have felt the pull back home for all of the reasons you listed - it just took me 15 years to realize what I was missing because it's not all about me anymore - my son needs to know his family.
We have just made the decision that we are going so now the hard work begins - visa for my partner, selling everything here, planning etc etc....we are thinking next Spring will be our D-Day......good luck with everything!
We have just made the decision that we are going so now the hard work begins - visa for my partner, selling everything here, planning etc etc....we are thinking next Spring will be our D-Day......good luck with everything!
#10
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
Congratulations on making the decision Pink I can almost hear the sigh of relief in your posts and it reminds me of how I felt when my OH finally agreed 100% that we needed to go home
#11
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
The bit about your daughter saving up her pocket money ...so sweet and shows where her heart it.
She is like my daughter,,,we went for a short visit last month and she has talked non stop about moving back to England since
(not offered me any pocket money though )
She is like my daughter,,,we went for a short visit last month and she has talked non stop about moving back to England since
(not offered me any pocket money though )
#12
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
It was very cute - didn't tell her it may take her 15 years to save up though
#13
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
After being in Canada for 20 months, we have never settled and always felt very much out of place here and not happy.
My husband felt this right from day one, but myself being a full time mum saw another side with the kids and activities and outdoor play etc!!
So the conversation on most evenings revolve around the advantages/disadvantages of Canada and the UK.
I decided to go back to where we used to live for a week with my eldest and came back just back a couple days ago.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and for once i can see full clarity in my head of where as a family we need to be!
The UK is where i definately want to be and cannot wait to start the process, so we can get back to our fab wee yorkshire village!
I really took the time to look at people, the weather, chav's, traffic, housing, etc etc, and even though nowhere is perfect where we lived is beautiful. Surrounded by the Yorkshire Dales, we took my sisters dog for walks on Ilkley Moor, the weather was ok, took a trip up into Grassington and went into a lovely tearoom where the staff and people around us were friendly and were able to have a bit of banter with.
I went into Leeds shoppping OMG!!!! Oh how i had missed people who dressed up a little to go to lunch, people having belly laughs with their friends, shops that were fab, vibrant, busy, restaurants that were packed.
There was a nice mix of people, yes of course some were a little bit left to be desired but thats obviously normal!
What i loved about being back was just the simplicity of walking round to the shop to grab a sandwich, bumping into someone i knew in the park, being able to walk to my friends house, to my sisters house, to my daughters friends house, walking back from the pub after quizz night with my sis!
Being able to go for a run up in the hills away from everyone apart from the sheep and cows!!
I also realised (something that suprised me), that i did not miss the humid weather back here, its much easier leaving the house and getting on with stuff when your not bombarded with 35 degrees of heat.
I'm sure when we are back full time, there will be days when we miss seeing the beautiful blue skies, but its not the bee all and end all!
So, after rambling on, i feel very happy that i have a clear head of where we need to be to continue with a happy life.
Canada is for some people and thats great, but for us we will be happy to come visit family here for a holiday and then get back to the land of the living
My husband felt this right from day one, but myself being a full time mum saw another side with the kids and activities and outdoor play etc!!
So the conversation on most evenings revolve around the advantages/disadvantages of Canada and the UK.
I decided to go back to where we used to live for a week with my eldest and came back just back a couple days ago.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and for once i can see full clarity in my head of where as a family we need to be!
The UK is where i definately want to be and cannot wait to start the process, so we can get back to our fab wee yorkshire village!
I really took the time to look at people, the weather, chav's, traffic, housing, etc etc, and even though nowhere is perfect where we lived is beautiful. Surrounded by the Yorkshire Dales, we took my sisters dog for walks on Ilkley Moor, the weather was ok, took a trip up into Grassington and went into a lovely tearoom where the staff and people around us were friendly and were able to have a bit of banter with.
I went into Leeds shoppping OMG!!!! Oh how i had missed people who dressed up a little to go to lunch, people having belly laughs with their friends, shops that were fab, vibrant, busy, restaurants that were packed.
There was a nice mix of people, yes of course some were a little bit left to be desired but thats obviously normal!
What i loved about being back was just the simplicity of walking round to the shop to grab a sandwich, bumping into someone i knew in the park, being able to walk to my friends house, to my sisters house, to my daughters friends house, walking back from the pub after quizz night with my sis!
Being able to go for a run up in the hills away from everyone apart from the sheep and cows!!
I also realised (something that suprised me), that i did not miss the humid weather back here, its much easier leaving the house and getting on with stuff when your not bombarded with 35 degrees of heat.
I'm sure when we are back full time, there will be days when we miss seeing the beautiful blue skies, but its not the bee all and end all!
So, after rambling on, i feel very happy that i have a clear head of where we need to be to continue with a happy life.
Canada is for some people and thats great, but for us we will be happy to come visit family here for a holiday and then get back to the land of the living
Good for you. It's so 'freeing' (if you know what I mean) when you finally make the decision and can start preparations. I felt a huge sense of complete relief when Dave finally agreed that we can move back.....albeit I now have to wait until 2013! I'm a Northener by choice, not birth, and I can honestly say that having living in Yorkshire, I think it's the best place on earth! It's thoughts of getting back to Harrogate that keep me going when the homesickness gets overwhelming.
#14
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: oakville ON
Posts: 350
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
Good for you. It's so 'freeing' (if you know what I mean) when you finally make the decision and can start preparations. I felt a huge sense of complete relief when Dave finally agreed that we can move back.....albeit I now have to wait until 2013! I'm a Northener by choice, not birth, and I can honestly say that having living in Yorkshire, I think it's the best place on earth! It's thoughts of getting back to Harrogate that keep me going when the homesickness gets overwhelming.
My main concern is being able to afford to get back in the village we left. House prices are always high there and the schools are already oversubscribed cos they are such good schools! We will cross that bridge when it comes to it!
In retrospect, we have struggled right from day dot. We have had some good experiences but always something was missing. My expat friends - most of them love it here and i thought what was wrong with me! I've realised nothing is wrong with me, we had a good life back home and no amount of sunshine and outdoor pools is gonna compensate that - cos 'i is soooo bored'!! Life may have been more hectic back home, but its better that this monotone life i live now!!
I don't want to speak negatively of Canada, thats not the reasons for my post, it is a lovely country with lots of nice people in it - but i'm tooooo Yorkshire!!
#15
Re: I have made a descion and it feels great!
Nooooooo I went to uni in Bradford I had the best time ever! Love it there I haven't found better curries anywhere else