psb182

Sweet : because I just can't stand this place anymore and hate the idea of growing old here and really miss MY people.
Sour : because I am not sure if the wife and kids will come with me.

For years I have had a hard time with this decision and I know the wife would go home in a minute but it's the kids home and they want no part of going to the UK,which I can understand.
Myself I just can't take it anymore I have to go back for my own sanity,being miserable for a LONG LONG time is really starting to wear on me.
Wife and kids don't really want to talk about it,we have a great relationship except this one major issue but my minds made up and it's FINAL that I am without a doubt going home.I will not die here and scared stiff of growing old here.

thunderbird65

you dont say where you are but i know the feeling.I had an awful time in Perth with simple bad luck and it ground me down, YOU will have to talk about the situation for your own sanity. I did and my family all said before i had the chance that i should return home before the stress in Perth killed me. even my eldest who is still in Perth has said i should never even return to visit him as the place simply wanted to put me in a box. At the end of it I returned in November and mypartner and youngest returned 3 weeks ago, took time to get confidence up but just knowing all could be achieved here in the uk in the end settled me. all is well now and we are all happy. TALK about it mate for deffo,

Beryl the Peril

Oh boy - this is a tough one isn't it? Where abouts are you - Perth by any chance? We are going through this, although slightly different circumstances. Son (15) perfectly happy to go back, husband really struggling with the decision. Me, wanted to go back after 3 months. Been here nearly 2 years now. I have my moments of thinking 'is this totally stupid?' - OH has a bloody good job here, son has a good life here, but for me - I find it tough being so far away from home, boring, isolated, I miss my friends and family, and just feel so out of place. Social life - zilch, kindred spirits - zilch. It's just no way to live at the end of the day.

This division between families which really seems to occur a lot, makes is SO difficult so I really feel for you. It happens to a lot of people. How much easier it would all be if everyone felt the same. I do hope you can resolve it.
How old are the kids?

TruBrit

all the best psb....how old are the kiddos?

gigi100

Hi
You havent said how old your kids are? Will they be able to stay here by themselves? Would you really break up your family be leaving?
All i can say if your minds made up FINE but i hope your family will be supportive and go with you. You need to make them talk about it though you cant leave it til the last minute. Where abouts would you be returning to? If there is any thing in the area you can entice the kids with ie nightlife, beaches, shopping etc, holidays to Europe that kind of thing. Also treat it like an adventure tell them to just try it and tell them it might not be forever and who knows it might not be, you may get back there and think its a huge mistake. If you have a house here rent it out and tell them its an option to return. They may love the life back in England. How old were they when they came here or were they born here? I returned to England when i was 21 after living here for 6 years and i couldnt wait to get back. However as an adult i realized Australia WAS good for kids and brought my own family here. As for your wife its all about compromise and it looks like neither of you would be happy staying OR going so it looks like the kids might be the deciding factor. I really cant believe you would break up your family but i dont know you so GOOD LUCK with whatever you decide

Georgie xx

gigi100

Sorry i re read and its just the kids so work on them as your wife is okay about it!

TraceyW

Strewth, decision made eh? You really need to talk to your family about this. They may come around to your way of thinking if they just understand how unhappy you are.

Good luck whatever happens

psb182

kids are 19,17,and 12.I am in the states.
Been here 22 yrs and the past 7-8 yrs the longing to go home has got more and more I just can't take it any longer

thunderbird65

talk to the kids mate, bet they already know your not happy. they old enough to be talked to. One life and all that. dont waste it away. Only thing is you been away a long time. Are you wanting to run away from something in the usa. is it poss to live here in uk for a while

good luck

TruBrit

know how you feel...wow 22 yrs brave man...i've managed 5 yrs and that's me done

tricky age for the kids but then any age is where kids are involved. they can always return to the usa in the future if they are really unhappy in the uk.

good luck with your dilemma

fishfinger

It's not an easy time for the kids to move but why don't you suggest an extended vacation like 12-18 months, rent out your house in the US and go on an 'adventure' to the UK.

I did this with my kids when we came to Canada, told them it would be like an extended vacation for 3 years but my kids were younger.

It's easier said than done though especially as the 19 and 17 year olds will be looking at Uni I suppose. Can you not wait a while longer until the older kids are in Uni in the states and you could move with the younger one? Can't really see a straightforward answer I'm afraid.

psb182

I have tried to talk and tried till I am blue in the face only 1 wants to talk back or listen that's the 17 yr old and he said he will be on my side,but I know he does not want to go back.

gruffbrown

It's difficult PSB, I know how you're feeling.

Nomore

Yes know how your feeling. After 22 years there and you still want to come home, geez that doesn't give us feeling home sick much hope does it!
I hope your wife and kids can come to some sort of arrangement, you don't want this to break you all up.
Why not go on holiday first...see how you feel then.
Good luck mate..it's a real tough call.

thunderbird65

my son is 21 in june, i thought he would last no more than a week after the rest of the family had returned. He is still in Perth and trying for work at the airport as he doesnt think plumbing is for him. Instead of giving him the 'learn a trade talk i was given as a kid i told him to do whatever made him happy. he should know monday. I also told him that whatever happens he always has a room here with us which i hope lets him know he has a place to fall back on. we talk every saturday and txts are seconds away. he is happy that i am less stressed. better than being a dead dad he says. its not as bad as u think with him being in Perth and me in pompey. We know in his own time he will return for sure but he will have citizenship andthe chance to be wherever he wants in the future cos he at a good age.
Give it a go back here, nothing is for definate or forever