This may sound a strange title, but couldnt think how else to title it.

The majority of us left the Uk and sold up everything we had. We then decided after a short period or sometimes a long one that we had made a huge mistake. How did you all deal with it?

I am screwing myself up as when we go home in January from NZ we will have to stay with inlaws for a while, then rent. We cant ever afford to buy back the house or car we had and will have no money to go back with (too talk about).

Lucky for us though hubbys old company are keeping a job open for him (gas eng) - so thats one blessing.

We left for NZ only 4 months ago, and it feels like 4 years. I cant find work here of any kind and it has been a huge mistake. The country is lovely but the lifestyle aint for me.

Sorry guys I am feeling sorry for myself and wouldnt mind knowing how you are all feeling.

Tell you one thing wish I could go home this now, but cant, doggy needs his pet passport.

Cheers

Scottish...I think that you have to remind yourself that the most important thing is that what you are doing / have done feels / felt right at the time. We only have one chance in this life and sometimes it takes a big mistake to work out what we really want from life.

I know because I think we've done that too!!

Material possessions...house, car etc are not the things that always make us happy...even if you will be poor at least you know that you will be back with friends and family.

Good luck xxxx

You just have to take it on the chin. You tried. So many people in the UK have the idea that any country ( I am stuck in Canada) is as it seems in the glossy ads and TV programs. 9/10 it isn't - and it comes hard when you have burned your bridges and it doesn't work out. What did you do in the UK? Could you hang on a while longer and try and recoup some of the money you lost?

I knew after six months that I had made a horrible mistake. I had given up everything in the UK but it was too late to go back. Later on, I could not afford to even move a block down the road after a year of unemployment and huge bills just to pay the rent and live. Nearly 9 years later I am still here, and I am no nearer to being able to leave due to the children and the cost of housing in the UK. I do feel for you, but at least consider whether you would *really* be better off going now, or waiting until this time next year perhaps. Four months is not long to make a real assessment of anywhere, and being without work and unvalued make it all seem like a sick joke.

Best of luck!

Hi Scottish if you want a friendly chat to someone in the same boat, I will be in the chat room
Linda

cheers Linda, Just got back in....... dont want to sound daft but "where is chat room" - think I left my brains back in Scotland LOL

Don't be so hard on yourself. And it wasn't a mistake, just put it down to experience. You've done your best to try and then you didn't like it, so what? At least you had the guts to do it in the first place and then to come back. Welcome home.

What the others say... It takes guts to make such a massive move. If you hadn't tried it, you may always have regretted the fact that you didn't. But you gave it your best shot.

It's hard to face up to making a mistake but you gain so much experience from it.

I didn't go as far away (only France and the Netherlands) so I was able to visit home frequently over the 12 years I was gone. Coming back has been tough financially but I still have no regrets (apart from the marriage I'm currently trying to extricate myself from). Working abroad has been good for my career.

My only suggestion to those that are contemplating such a massive upheaval to the other side of the globe would be to try it for six months first on a temporary visa - living there for a short period before making a final commitment would give you a much better idea of what you could expect, unlike going for a 3 week holiday.

Count yourself very lucky. There are people who emigrate that want to return, but can't afford to.

We make the best decisions we can at the time - if we had 20/20 foresight we would all be very happy, rich and have perfect kids.

Now, back to reality.

We returned from Oz after 12 years. If we understood what we were missing earlier, we would have returned after a max of 2 or 3 years.

So that's 9 years of our lives "wasted". Yes, we're better for the experience - but, at great emotional and financial cost. Contrary to what a lot of people might believe, muttering the phrase "Well, at least we tried" doesn't make up for it.

Still, we can't change what's happened.

Now we're happy, positive and looking forward to not spending the next 12 years Down Under

just wanted to say that we have only been here 8 months but are also returning in august loads of different reasons.

We will be staying with my parents until we buy a house all six of us just hope we can get a mortgage which will probably be double what we had .

Husband has had an offer of his job back and his boss even asked what rate he would like(contractor).luckily we still have our car dont regret that we tried it just wish that it hadnt cost so much money.
Never mind time to move on and enjoy our life.

all the best

Juliet

cheers guys for your comments.

If we didnt have the dog out we would of been home by now but there is no way we could put him through quarantine.

As for the money side well thats one of the biggest regrets the cost of coming here and what seems like such a waste now. My mum will help us financially to come home - thank god for mums, and I am still hoping to find a job and try and save some money to go home with.

You sometimes feel like such an Alien when you here of these peeps loving it here and the way of life.

Also the cost of living here is shocking and I thought Sainsburys cost a fortune to shop in LOL

cant wait to shop in sainsburys and tescos how sad is that

We are who we are..living in OZ/NZ/USA/CANADA etc is not for everyone just the same as we don't all eat and like the same food..it's as basic as that I reckon.

Don't feel like an Alien because others enjoy living out here..my Aussie hubby calls the UK home...now wait for any Aussie's to slag him off.

Each to their own....I have a dear friend in Adelaide who emigrated out here with her young family in the 60's. Sadly her husband passed away a few years ago and now her son who is in his early 40's has died. She has another son who prefers "walkabout" and she has one dear friend, a grandaughter and a daughter-in-law...here in OZ and that is it. She owns 2 properties in Adelaide and when I spoke to her the other day she was saying how much she wishes she could return back to the UK, sell her properties and find a nice place nr where her sister and brother still live. This lady is 70 going on 50...but she feels she has left it all too late.

I felt so sad for her...she said no matter what she would rather be near her family than out here, after all this time.!!

So be proud that you had the courage to do this and try hard not to look back at the costs etc...just try to think about how good it will be for you to be at "home"!!

We are going to be renting a place when we get back and will eventually buy a house...all scary stuff but I feel positive it will all come good !!We will certainly be richer in the sense of family/friends/etc than we are here....

Now that counts for alot doesn't it....and not forgetting ASDA curries from the deli area counter...mmhhhhhhh!!!dribble, dribble,......you can tell it's dinner time !!

It must be really miserable for you, however I am in agreement with Dingbat, is 4 months really long enough to make a decision? Your situation is exacerbated by the work situation and obviously your social life isn't the same as it is here. I will be moving to OZ in Feb next year, and although we will be lucky to have family to support us, they are my husband's family, not mine, so it won't be the same. I will also be leaving friends behind, some of whom I went to Primary School with nearly 30 years ago. I am prepared for it to be really hard, I won't make a decision for at least 2 years whether to come back or not. Were your expectations really high? Homesickness is a right bugger, and I know it will be difficult as I have lived in a small town in the Westcountry all my life, have a huge family that all live within about a 10 mile radius.

Does you husband feel the same? I spoke to my friend yesterday who moved to South Africa 18 months ago and I can understand where you are coming from as I had tearful phonecalls from her at 3 in the morning and she very nearly came back. She loves it now, it does get better!

Chin up

Four months is not long enough to give another country a chance. Perhaps it's a comment on today's culture, but in my opinion too many people expect things to work instantly. Often they don't.

Out of interest, what were the reasons you wanted to leave the UK in the first place?

Until the current generation, once you had migrated to NZ or Australia you really were stuck there, at least for a few years. People *had* to make it work, whether they liked it or not.

Jeremy

Similar scenario to us as we are now back and renting and had to live with the inlaw (mum) and boy was that difficult. However things are gradually falling back in to place and we know we made the right decision for the family. A year from now maybe you will feel better (or worse) but at least you tried it and found it wasn't for you. Good luck. We were in Christchurch by the way.