How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Jan 12th 2005, 1:44 am
#1
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How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
I am thinking seriously about planning my (final) return, probably in summer 2006 (I've been here for 4 years, but overseas for a total of 20 years). I keep struggling with the issue of how and when to let on that you're quitting your job and heading back home.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
Jan 12th 2005, 3:16 am
#2
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Posts: 13
Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Hi,
I am planning to return to the UK in September, and I think you have to accept that you have to do whats best for you and though this may seem devious at times, thats life in todays workplace. I am currently working on a major project/expansion for the company I work for and I do feel guilty that at some point I am going to have to walk away and to some degree leave them in the lurch. At meetings I am having to obviously act in a manner that gives the impression I will be here to see the project come to its conclusion, which also makes me feel like a fraud at times.
I dont think their is a right or wrong way to handle this, I will also need to travel back to the UK prior to leaving on at least a few occassions for interviews, and that will require some 'white lies', but even if i was in the UK and looking for another position I would have to take sometime off for interviews and so whats the difference.
I dont think this helps you in your quest for help or advice, but maybe the fact that its the same for everyone who are doing what you are planning may help. For me, and I may be slammed for saying this, but my first obligation is to my wife & children, and I will do whatever is requried to secure their future and if that means being a little devious to obtain another job back in the UK, so be it..
good luck
I am planning to return to the UK in September, and I think you have to accept that you have to do whats best for you and though this may seem devious at times, thats life in todays workplace. I am currently working on a major project/expansion for the company I work for and I do feel guilty that at some point I am going to have to walk away and to some degree leave them in the lurch. At meetings I am having to obviously act in a manner that gives the impression I will be here to see the project come to its conclusion, which also makes me feel like a fraud at times.
I dont think their is a right or wrong way to handle this, I will also need to travel back to the UK prior to leaving on at least a few occassions for interviews, and that will require some 'white lies', but even if i was in the UK and looking for another position I would have to take sometime off for interviews and so whats the difference.
I dont think this helps you in your quest for help or advice, but maybe the fact that its the same for everyone who are doing what you are planning may help. For me, and I may be slammed for saying this, but my first obligation is to my wife & children, and I will do whatever is requried to secure their future and if that means being a little devious to obtain another job back in the UK, so be it..
good luck
Jan 12th 2005, 7:45 am
#3
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by expat14
Hi,
I am planning to return to the UK in September, and I think you have to accept that you have to do whats best for you and though this may seem devious at times, thats life in todays workplace. I am currently working on a major project/expansion for the company I work for and I do feel guilty that at some point I am going to have to walk away and to some degree leave them in the lurch. At meetings I am having to obviously act in a manner that gives the impression I will be here to see the project come to its conclusion, which also makes me feel like a fraud at times.
I dont think their is a right or wrong way to handle this, I will also need to travel back to the UK prior to leaving on at least a few occassions for interviews, and that will require some 'white lies', but even if i was in the UK and looking for another position I would have to take sometime off for interviews and so whats the difference.
I dont think this helps you in your quest for help or advice, but maybe the fact that its the same for everyone who are doing what you are planning may help. For me, and I may be slammed for saying this, but my first obligation is to my wife & children, and I will do whatever is requried to secure their future and if that means being a little devious to obtain another job back in the UK, so be it..
good luck
I am planning to return to the UK in September, and I think you have to accept that you have to do whats best for you and though this may seem devious at times, thats life in todays workplace. I am currently working on a major project/expansion for the company I work for and I do feel guilty that at some point I am going to have to walk away and to some degree leave them in the lurch. At meetings I am having to obviously act in a manner that gives the impression I will be here to see the project come to its conclusion, which also makes me feel like a fraud at times.
I dont think their is a right or wrong way to handle this, I will also need to travel back to the UK prior to leaving on at least a few occassions for interviews, and that will require some 'white lies', but even if i was in the UK and looking for another position I would have to take sometime off for interviews and so whats the difference.
I dont think this helps you in your quest for help or advice, but maybe the fact that its the same for everyone who are doing what you are planning may help. For me, and I may be slammed for saying this, but my first obligation is to my wife & children, and I will do whatever is requried to secure their future and if that means being a little devious to obtain another job back in the UK, so be it..
good luck
You're paid a fee to do a good job and as long as you continue to do so then you're under no further obligation. Your job is a transaction. They pay you, you do the job. That's all.
I have been extremely lucky in that the company I worked for valued me as an individual and as an employee [and vice versa] however I NEVER underestimated that should they have needed to get rid of me via redundancies / cut backs etc, then they wouldn't have hesitated. Seen it done lots of times to other people. It's ruthless but it's necessary to survive in business today.
I agree with expat14 that at the end of the day, you, your wife and kids [if you have any] are the most important and your security /survival is second to none.
It's not immoral to look for another job and often we are asked to be descreet. This works both ways, emotion shouldn't come into it
There's no easy answer.....good luck
Jan 12th 2005, 8:24 am
#4
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz
Agree.
You're paid a fee to do a good job and as long as you continue to do so then you're under no further obligation. Your job is a transaction. They pay you, you do the job. That's all.
I have been extremely lucky in that the company I worked for valued me as an individual and as an employee [and vice versa] however I NEVER underestimated that should they have needed to get rid of me via redundancies / cut backs etc, then they wouldn't have hesitated. Seen it done lots of times to other people. It's ruthless but it's necessary to survive in business today.
I agree with expat14 that at the end of the day, you, your wife and kids [if you have any] are the most important and your security /survival is second to none.
It's not immoral to look for another job and often we are asked to be descreet. This works both ways, emotion shouldn't come into it
There's no easy answer.....good luck
You're paid a fee to do a good job and as long as you continue to do so then you're under no further obligation. Your job is a transaction. They pay you, you do the job. That's all.
I have been extremely lucky in that the company I worked for valued me as an individual and as an employee [and vice versa] however I NEVER underestimated that should they have needed to get rid of me via redundancies / cut backs etc, then they wouldn't have hesitated. Seen it done lots of times to other people. It's ruthless but it's necessary to survive in business today.
I agree with expat14 that at the end of the day, you, your wife and kids [if you have any] are the most important and your security /survival is second to none.
It's not immoral to look for another job and often we are asked to be descreet. This works both ways, emotion shouldn't come into it
There's no easy answer.....good luck
I have been the in the employer situation and was faced with a valued employee/colleague emigrating and he gave me 6 months verbal notice of his intentions. We sat down and agreed a strategy to consider both his, and the companies requirements, agreed a way forward and dealt with it in a businesslike fashion.
Good guy. Not a best friend or anything but I certainly would not hesitate in giving him a glowing reference.
As long as you have a decent manager I would be surprised if you have a problem. My outlook on it is that as an employer you never have exclusive employment rights over ANYONE and eventually folk move on. Nothing to do with whether they like you or not (you always hope!) just simply time to go do something else.
Good luck.
Matt
Jan 12th 2005, 3:03 pm
#5
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by dunroving
I am thinking seriously about planning my (final) return, probably in summer 2006 (I've been here for 4 years, but overseas for a total of 20 years). I keep struggling with the issue of how and when to let on that you're quitting your job and heading back home.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
Bottomline is that I think loyalty is a 2 way street and you should adjust your behaviour accordingly. A commercial company is governed by profit, it does what's best for its bottomline and so you should do what's best for you. In an academic or non-profit organization things might be different.
Jan 12th 2005, 4:06 pm
#6
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by dunroving
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
Mrs G
Jan 12th 2005, 4:35 pm
#7
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by dunroving
I am thinking seriously about planning my (final) return, probably in summer 2006 (I've been here for 4 years, but overseas for a total of 20 years). I keep struggling with the issue of how and when to let on that you're quitting your job and heading back home.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
In my profession, you typically need at least a couple of professional reference letters when applying, so at some point I will have to tell at least a couple of people I'm off when I start applying in late 2005/early 2006 (timing is related to the academic year). Also, to get a job at a UK uni I'd probably have to travel to an interview so there'll be some subterfuge at that point too.
However, also in my profession it can be looked at somewhat negatively if you quit. I'm not sure (really, I don't know) if all professions look at it this way.
So, it's probably not wise to announce you are off until you actually know you have a job to go to. I struggle with the duplicitous nature of this situation, however (knowing I'm looking and applying, but acting like I'm here for the duration). But like a lot of workplaces, if you tell one person you've effectively told everyone (no secrets).
If anyone else has been through this conflicting situation while they've been planning the Great Escape, I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions of how to deal with it. I'm usually pretty good at handling the awkward stuff but for some reason this is proving a bit difficult.
References may however be a problem, I have a couple form my UK time but a new employer is going to want something from your last one. We'll see.
Good Luck.
Simon.
Jan 12th 2005, 5:02 pm
#8
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by SimonG
Very interesting point, especially as I am going through this at the moment. I have no dates yet but I am planning a return to the UK at the end of March. Even after more than 12 years with the same company, UK and Canada, I'm afraid it will be a case of two weeks notice as soon as I can get everything sorted. I don't really like the way I have to do things but the bottom line is the wife and kids come first, and my company will be extremely difficult when I hand in my notice. But I get paid to do a job and I'll do the best job I can until I leave.
References may however be a problem, I have a couple form my UK time but a new employer is going to want something from your last one. We'll see.
Good Luck.
Simon.
References may however be a problem, I have a couple form my UK time but a new employer is going to want something from your last one. We'll see.
Good Luck.
Simon.
Jan 12th 2005, 5:13 pm
#9
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Posts: 866
Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
I am going through this as well. I will be leaving October (or sooner if I can get flight clearance for the dogs) 
I have worked for the same company for twelve years and I am the office manager. The company is based in Ohio and its only a small office locally, only a few employees here. the thing is they really rely on me here and know the office will be running as it should. I feel bad because I havent let them know yet. I do plan on giving them a little more than 'the two week notice' but dont know just how far in advance to tell them. (?) I dont want to jeopardise my job, them thinking well if shes leaving may as well get someone new now. but I dont want to wait so long that they have a problem keeping the office running smoothly. Cant decide when to tell them really. 
I have worked for the same company for twelve years and I am the office manager. The company is based in Ohio and its only a small office locally, only a few employees here. the thing is they really rely on me here and know the office will be running as it should. I feel bad because I havent let them know yet. I do plan on giving them a little more than 'the two week notice' but dont know just how far in advance to tell them. (?) I dont want to jeopardise my job, them thinking well if shes leaving may as well get someone new now. but I dont want to wait so long that they have a problem keeping the office running smoothly. Cant decide when to tell them really.
Jan 12th 2005, 5:30 pm
#10
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by callë
I am going through this as well. I will be leaving October (or sooner if I can get flight clearance for the dogs) I have worked for the same company for twelve years and I am the office manager. The company is based in Ohio and its only a small office locally, only a few employees here. the thing is they really rely on me here and know the office will be running as it should. I feel bad because I havent let them know yet. I do plan on giving them a little more than 'the two week notice' but dont know just how far in advance to tell them. (?) I dont want to jeopardise my job, them thinking well if shes leaving may as well get someone new now. but I dont want to wait so long that they have a problem keeping the office running smoothly. Cant decide when to tell them really.
I have worked for the same company for twelve years and I am the office manager. The company is based in Ohio and its only a small office locally, only a few employees here. the thing is they really rely on me here and know the office will be running as it should. I feel bad because I havent let them know yet. I do plan on giving them a little more than 'the two week notice' but dont know just how far in advance to tell them. (?) I dont want to jeopardise my job, them thinking well if shes leaving may as well get someone new now. but I dont want to wait so long that they have a problem keeping the office running smoothly. Cant decide when to tell them really.
Jan 12th 2005, 6:04 pm
#11
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
I agree with 4 weeks notice, because its longer than any company will expect out here which shows loyalty but not too long if the company starts getting difficult.
US employers probably already accept that foreign employee's may at some point want to return to their home country, so it will be easier for them to accept that your reasons for leaving are that you want to return home rather than you dont like working for them.
US employers probably already accept that foreign employee's may at some point want to return to their home country, so it will be easier for them to accept that your reasons for leaving are that you want to return home rather than you dont like working for them.
Jan 12th 2005, 11:08 pm
#12
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Since I cant decide for myself and you both agree (Nun and Ladylisa), I will take your advice. Four weeks notice it is for me! Thanks. 
Jan 12th 2005, 11:37 pm
#13
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Thanks for the feedback and advice from my OP, everyone. It's helpful to know that some of you also struggle with the same question.
As for the idea of "4 weeks' notice" (or 2 weeks), in higher ed it's quite different. For one thing, most jobs end and start in summer, so it's not like there's a rolling deadline (you can't just give 2 weeks' notice in the middle of the semester, for example - and if you did, there aren't any jobs that start mid-semester).
So, in practice, you generally give notice several months before you intend to quit and start your new job. I could handle a couple of weeks of awkwardness, but it's a drag putting up with three months of questioning, and dealing with some of the difficult situations and conversations.
When the time comes, I'll get over it. And as it is my full intention that my next move will be my absolute last, I'm hoping I won't have to deal with this again (like I say, I'm hoping....).
As for the idea of "4 weeks' notice" (or 2 weeks), in higher ed it's quite different. For one thing, most jobs end and start in summer, so it's not like there's a rolling deadline (you can't just give 2 weeks' notice in the middle of the semester, for example - and if you did, there aren't any jobs that start mid-semester).
So, in practice, you generally give notice several months before you intend to quit and start your new job. I could handle a couple of weeks of awkwardness, but it's a drag putting up with three months of questioning, and dealing with some of the difficult situations and conversations.
When the time comes, I'll get over it. And as it is my full intention that my next move will be my absolute last, I'm hoping I won't have to deal with this again (like I say, I'm hoping....).
Jan 12th 2005, 11:51 pm
#14
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Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
Originally Posted by dunroving
Thanks for the feedback and advice from my OP, everyone. It's helpful to know that some of you also struggle with the same question.
As for the idea of "4 weeks' notice" (or 2 weeks), in higher ed it's quite different. For one thing, most jobs end and start in summer, so it's not like there's a rolling deadline (you can't just give 2 weeks' notice in the middle of the semester, for example - and if you did, there aren't any jobs that start mid-semester).
So, in practice, you generally give notice several months before you intend to quit and start your new job. I could handle a couple of weeks of awkwardness, but it's a drag putting up with three months of questioning, and dealing with some of the difficult situations and conversations.
When the time comes, I'll get over it. And as it is my full intention that my next move will be my absolute last, I'm hoping I won't have to deal with this again (like I say, I'm hoping....).
As for the idea of "4 weeks' notice" (or 2 weeks), in higher ed it's quite different. For one thing, most jobs end and start in summer, so it's not like there's a rolling deadline (you can't just give 2 weeks' notice in the middle of the semester, for example - and if you did, there aren't any jobs that start mid-semester).
So, in practice, you generally give notice several months before you intend to quit and start your new job. I could handle a couple of weeks of awkwardness, but it's a drag putting up with three months of questioning, and dealing with some of the difficult situations and conversations.
When the time comes, I'll get over it. And as it is my full intention that my next move will be my absolute last, I'm hoping I won't have to deal with this again (like I say, I'm hoping....).
would they give you several months if they were going to terminate your employment?........4 weeks is plenty imo
Jan 13th 2005, 12:08 am
#15
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 576
Re: How do you deal with telling people you are going back?
We gave boss here in NZ 3 weeks notice due to the fact that Christmas was approaching. Law here requires 2 weeks. But as a nice gesture the boss called hubby at home whilst on Christmas break (at 2 weeks stage) to say dont bother coming back to work for the last week and we are coming to get our van etc. So my advice is give what you have to give legally.