Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

Thank you everyone for your supportive comments and for the reminder to everybody what this forum is about. I actually received a few comments from people saying that abusive comments are the very reason they are afraid to post on here.

Although I wouldnt have usually bothered to post back and continue this thread, I felt it important to try and turn it around.This forum has helped me through the visa process, I have found information here that would have taken months to receive from the embassy and I have also received tips on how to expediate the process.

I often sometimes just come here to remind myself others are in the same situation and that it's ok to have doubts about some of these things. It helps you take a step back and recognise that what you are going through is a normal response - rather than feeling you may be going mad ....unless you actually are going mad..... but thats for another forum!!! This is particulalry important when friends back and home can't understand why you are unhappy and berate you for being so (after all arent we all taking road trips "like in the movies" and having one long vacation in our new country)?

With regards to moving back to the UK - I think what bandrui and others are saying, is that sometimes you spend alot of time and effort trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and sometimes you may need to recognize this just may not ever happen.

One last comment - unless everybody on here is meeting up on private and not telling me about it (:() we are all random people here...every forum is based on that concept - that's the beauty of it - we are talking about our shared experiences in the absence of being able to talk to friends and family who we would usually seek advice from. They are busy looking at the 'milk and honey' as bandrui mentioned - here we are getting down to the nitty gritty and the things you don't learn about in textbooks or immigration websites! I particularly like the fact that strangers would do that for each other. Thank you again everybody and for those who have emailed me please don't be discouraged and continue to post.

Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

miami078-

I know exactly how you feel! My husband is also an adjunct instructor at two colleges in our area, and I too put off going to university in order to help us financially when we moved here almost five years ago. I relate to your story a lot, and in fact my husband and I are talking of moving back to England too in two years when I am done with my Masters.

Don't be discouraged- although you have been here a year, and that might feel like a while, it isn't really that long. Having been here five years I can say that the first two years were probably the hardest, and even now it can sometimes be hard too. No one can tell you exactly what to do and whether moving back is right for you, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in how you feel!
Good Luck!

Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

Hello Miami078,
I can relate in a way. I'm American but lived for 6 1/2 years in the Netherlands (Dutch husband) and have now lived in Ireland for almost 4 years. The first 2 years in a new country are the most difficult. We're now trying to decide if we should stay in Ireland, move to England or move near my family in Milwaukee. I've also made the pros/cons lists but sometimes there is an intangible that weighs heavily on the conscious even though it's not part of the list (like obligation to family). Sometimes I find it easier to give advice to others than to make a decision regarding myself. Maybe think about what advice you would give another person who had placed the same post as you and then try to apply it to yourself. That's the difficult part. The problem could just be because you're in NJ;) And don't let the negative posts get to you. I don't think anyone who posts on here expects someone else to make their decisions for them, it's just to help work through an issue with people who offer the beneift of their experience in an objective way (as opposed to a family member who would maybe not be so objective).

Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

I think coming on this forum and talking things through with other ex-pats is invaluable.

I know that the support I received on here from the over 50's and 60's thread was all I had to hang onto at times.

Don't listen to people in the UK who may never have been further than a fortnight's trip to Benidorm or Blackpool. :lol:

People living here in the UK are naturally quite negative (not all) and think that people who live in the USA, Australia or any other country are all on one big long holiday in the sun. The reality of course is quite different. :unsure:

Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

Well said, Bee. I agree with you. :)

Re: How to decide whether to move back to UK?
 

For some of us, it takes living outside the UK to see it for what it really is. We seem to appreciate all it has to offer so much more then.

I cried every day for the first year I was in the USA. It was as if my heart was well and truly broken and I was 23 years old. I love the analogy of a square peg in a round hole because that is exactly how I felt and for 30+ years I have tried to grind down that square peg to fit into the round hole but it just won't fit and I am at a point where I absolutely don't want it to fit any more.

I listened to my mother say to me for years, "Ohh, you are just imagining it" regarding how I felt living in the USA)! Many years later, I find this forum and find that a good number who are planning a move home feel exactly the same way. Actually, at this point in my life, it wouldn't really matter because I am comfortable in the knowledge now that it's not for me.

I like to say that I have lived a half-life here. That's no way to live!

Today I know I am going home; it's just a matter of when.