Graham and Maria

Ok Im on my second bout of homesickness, not as bad as the first but bad enough. Ive been in Australia coming on for a year now and we are all doing great here but for me the honeymoon has finally worn off.

I nudge suggestions at my wife and daughter about returning to England to get a reaction about how they feel and there more then happy here. Daughter is very settled and wife is over the moon at working again after being a housewife for the first 10 years of my daughters life, something she says she would find very hard to do back home even in a stable economy.

Ive been browsing realestate and jobs in England, reading mbttuk a lot and generally thinking that Im missing out on friends and family for which contact is getting fewer and farther apart, I know this is suicide but its like having a void that I cannot fill here.....I feel like Im just too English right now .

The houses are expensive to what Im used to here and we are still renting after having a mortgage for years back home and it looks like we will be signing up for anouther 12 months to keep our daughter in the same school/area. I like the nice weather but hate the extreme heat which I consider far worse then chilly England. We have friendly aquaintances here but no one I can firmly say will become lifelong friends.

I wont drone anymore about what I miss because you all understand

I know this is probably just a bout of homesickness and expect to feel this many times over and wanted to ask you guys who are going home how you disassociated homesickness from actually knowing you needed to be back where you belong.....

cricket1again

I think you'll find so many people can relate to how you are feeling so you're not alone. I've been here 5 years and am about to return to the UK. The frustration is really getting to me now and I feel like strangling someone. :curse:
I fully understand your comments on the heat, it's suffocating. I don't like it either.
I could say all the usual stuff such as a year isn't long so homesickness is normal but it sounds like the honeymoon period hasn't worn off for your wife yet but it has for you.
I'd touch base with her, see if she is as happy as she thinks she is and see where compromises and time frames could be explored.
Your daughter will adapt either way and will always benefit from just having had the experience of living and being schooled abroad.

You can always rant on here, we all do and most people are always happy to listen and offer support.

RayZor

We are approaching 3 years into the same process, however my wife and kids want to go back, and I dont (just yet will think I will eventually). you can spend hours on this forum getting feedback and ideas but the only way is to move this forward is to go back to UK, you will know instantly on arrival how you feel...trust your gut. For us, at the end of the day this has been a great adventure and no regrets, but our 'home' is calling and we need to answer it....

itsasecret

I think we all go through waves,, i now know I will always have them as I have given it nearly 4.5 years to see if it was just a phase.

Talking to my wife about it doesnt go down well, infact I have started to talk more often about the possibility of moving back, she isnt having any of it! and consequently I get more fed up and the urge to move back gets stronger..

My advice is to convince your wife before its too late, she may never want to go back if you leave it too long like I have.. the whole wanting to move back to the uk thing can turn into depression if you know there as so many hurdles to jump through and people around you think differently.

I too look at house prices and jobs and read this forum every weekday, not that its getting me anywhere. My dream is post 'we are going back!' but thats not as easy as it sounds. Good luck.. and keep us informed.

svinnes

I know what you mean about home calling...We have been here 3 1/2 years and i still miss home to this day, I find the friendship thing is never the same here....I know one day we will return home...We went back in Oct for our first holiday and had a ball, slotted straight back in to the way of life...

Suzanne

Funky Monkey

Hi.

You are not droning on tell us how you feel if it helps.

I know you wanted a different type of answer but I feel exactly the same as you do. I am a little different in that I never really had a honeymoon period and missed the U.K very quickly. I miss it pretty much everyday and today I could have cried when a song came on the radio which reminded me of a happy time, I am usually pretty strong but it has affected me.
I wanted to come here and my missus did not and she has settled well with the 2 kids. We said we would give it 2 years and it has only been 6 months. Many people I speak to say that it took a good 18 months - 2 years. We will go back for a visit next year and as another poster said I think you will know.
I just get a feeling I am not going to grow to like it. I miss the buzz of the U.K and like you there are no great friendships e.t.c, the place has no depth in my opinion. I really try hard to think positive and fit in but it does not help. People have said start a hobby which I already had and I am in a club but that has only helped a little.

Sorry to ramble on it is your post I just want you to know I feel the same way, I myself would go back tomorrow for a visit but feel it is too soon.
Good luck, James.

Chi_town

Just a quick reply, but wanted to suggest that a year is not a very long time, and maybe you are just someone who needs more time to adjust? I have been here in the US for 5 years, and I can honesty say that for the first 3 years I was very unsettled. For the first year I would have packed my bags and gone home at the drop of a hat.

It is hard when one partner is unhappy and the other is not. My husband and I have been on this seesaw almost since we came here. Its so much easier when both are happy or both are unhappy, you don't feel like you are so alone.

I hpe it works out for you.

Susie.

AIT

Hi mate,

I completely understand! It's bloody hard at times.

brits1

Hi just had to reply to this one...we have been here 11 years now in Aus and have just giving it everything..did not go back for the first 7 years as we really wanted to put down roots....our first visit back home was Christmas/New Year and it was bliss...felt like we had never been away and Aus was just a dream......we came back to Aus and when "friends" asked how we got on we just said "we had a ball"...99.9% of the replies were..."it's because of the time of year you visited" etc etc which in part was true... so we carried on but we all knew (especially our sons they have always said one day the would return to the U.K) really Aus would never be "home" no matter how hard we tried and boy oh boy did we for the next couple of years...went over East....etc...went back for a 2nd visit in March to May in 07....and if anything was even better(it would of been easier if it had not of been so nice beleive me)....now we are heading home....after 11 years of trying....nothing really against Aus...have made some nice friends..but never like the ones we have still at home...miss family (most have visited but over the years they are now holidaying elsewhere) and yes as the years go on you can become "distant" from the U.K but what you have to decide is, can you go back to live....(your wife may never want to) and if not you really just have to give it a go....but really talk to your wife about how you feel....it's a hard place for lots of people....I know plenty of people who are just going through the motions and some who truly love it here..we are all different, it does help though to know that you are not the only one who feels like you do....

Graham and Maria

I do agree with you Susie, however we still have a decent amount of cash in the bank, we dont own a house yet and dont have a lot in the way of clutter/ties, our daughter is now 10yrs old and will soon be in that very crucial stage of her education which is better not disturbed.

Thanks for all the replys guys

sylvesterthecat

Hi,

My husband and I have been here 18 months and I was terribly homesick for the first year and my husband loves it here so wouldn't dream of going back. However, I took a trip back to the uk with my 18 month old without DH (now that is what I call hard work!) - ANYWAY - going back for a visit was the best thing for me.

It was fantastic to see everyone again esp my family and go out with my friends again, but it really made me realise that everything there is just the same and nothing has changed and basically that England is not going anywhere. We dont have to stay in Oz forever and knowing we can go back whenever we want has made me really begin to settle a bit here in oz. at last. It is difficult finding friends, no doubt about it but I think how lucky we are to go to the beach after work and go sailing on a beautiful sunny evening or drive half an hour from the city and see some wineries...

Personally, I'm just going to make the most of it here whether we are here another year or another 10. Maybe you should consider going back for a holiday??

good luck.

Lisa x