vikingsail

I'm with you on that. If I could transfer my job to the UK I would be in heaven.

MKGIRLINSB

brithampton

Completely know how you feel. It's not a nice feeling at all. I've been in USA for 16 years now and for the past 6 years, I've felt increasingly homesick and it's just got worse! I think about it many times every day and have been getting really upset about it. Like some of you, it's been financially really tough the last few years and I understand that lots of people have had difficulties, but still, all my friends in UK have a much better work/life balance and still enjoy holidays and free time. We really do hardly anything, never plan holidays and really have nothing in the pipeline to look forward to. My husband is also British, but he really doesn't want to go back. However, in the last couple of months, we've been discussing it (as I think our family members can see how upset I am about being here long-term) and he has agreed to go back - been looking at rental properties on internet, thinking about where to live. We've even told a couple of friends. Yay! But then just when I dare to think we'll go back, he will make negative observations about the U.K - his job prospects, the economy, the weather, smaller home and talking about "waving goodbye to what we have here". So one day I'm excited and the next I'm feeling resigned that I'm stuck here for a really long time (we have kids and the next couple of years are the window to return home). I could deal with it for another year or two, but longer than that....hang in there, I sympathize, hope it works out.

Choccie

I am soooo glad it's not just me. I really feel for anyone finding themselves in this situation.

We have been in NZ for nearly 8 years now and I have done my dash. Hubby has said he is willing to go back but we are both worried about getting jobs and starting again. (Having said that I have been largely unemployed for the last 2 years)

I know I will feel so guilty if we go back and he is unhappy.

We also find ourselves in a situation (like many others I'm sure) that would mean us splitting our family.

We have very few friends here but then again if we go back how easy would it be to make friends there?

We are at a stage in life when we should be enjoying our new found freedom (only 1 child left at home) but I find there is nowhere to go to do this. I guess I am just not outdoorsy enough.

Anyway just wanted to say I feel for you and hope it works out.

We are going back in a few months for a visit - I'm really hoping this will clarify things for us.

Piff Poff

ChrisCDN,

I think my husband could have posted what you have written. Although he hasnt told me yet. I am waiting for the bombshell and it hit him after 5 years and a year after he lostboth his parents.
I have told him that if we need to move to another province or back to the UK then we will look into it, research properly and make sure we have citizenship before we make any huge decisions.

Havnt got any big advice for you, just wanted to let you know, you are so not alone.

sallysimmons

Same here. I remember my husband saying no way to going home, and now we've been here almost a year and are both happy as clams. It took him about 6 months to come round.

To the OP, I'd say don't give up hope and, as Mummy says, give this some time to settle with your wife.

britwhore

I remember telling my husband I wanted to go back and he was completely against it.

We've been back for 4 months now!!!

I had to give him time to think things through. In the end he realised it made sense and also realised how home sick he really was and how good a job he was doing of suppressing it!

Good luck.

jeannie in a bottle

I'd just like to thank everyone for sharing their experiences on this forum. Reading some of them brought tears to my eyes. I too am in a similar situation, whereby I am unhappy living in Canada, but my OH would be happy to stay.

We may soon be in the situation where we are able to make a decision on whether to stay here or return to the UK [due to house sale]. One of us will be disappointed, and the tricky thing is knowing how to cope with that. Homesickness can hit anyone at any time, and until you've been through it you can't fully understand how it feels and affects your everyday life. There is no right or wrong answer, each person has their own feelings which are valid.

I wish everyone on here the very best of luck, and hope that you are all able to resolve your dilemas, I really do.

Best of luck everyone

BlueMorpho

17 years in America- 10 wanting not to be here really. This poem runs around my head...

Rupert Brooke. 1887–1915

The Soldier

IF I should die, think only this of me;
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England's breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home.

And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

sile

That is so beautiful!

MKGIRLINSB

Brought tears to my ears. So lovely.