This morning I noticed Sparky (the cat who survived a recent month alone with Andy) sitting at attention on the bathroom sink, staring up intently at the vent to the overheard extraction fan. "What's up Sparky," I inquired, "have you spotted a spider?" Sparky spared me a brief and contemptuous glance, as if to chastise me for thinking he would be wasting his time staring at a mere spider and then turned his death stare back to the vent. Thinking this behaviour unusual even for my bizarre cat, I stared up with him. In short order I could see what had captured his attention -- There was movement within that vent.

"Andy, come quick," I squealed. And he did, complete with flashlight. All we could tell was that there was something moving around on the other side of the vent, and that something would occasionally poke a claw out through the vent. Andy declined my invitation to please open the vent and remove the wildlife that had found its way to our bog fan vent. So it was off to the phone book to call in the animal control specialists. Enter Ron (trust me ladies, I wish he had looked like Crocodile Dundee, but unfortunately he looked more like Pee Wee Herman). Armed with the sophisticated tools of his trade, which consisted of a standard work glove and a plastic cup with a lid from Dairy Queen, he removed the half asleep bat from my vent in under two minutes. For that he charged me $150!!! He also offered to "bat proof" my house with a five year guarantee, for the small additional sum of $850 but I declined. I think I am going to give up the practice of law and go into pest removal. I already have the glove.

haha love it

Is there much work? Can you bill for drive time to and from the job?

I think there might be serious money in this. I live in a critter-loving town with loads of vegetarians and yet it seems like everyone has a phobia of some critter or another.

A colleague's is ... lizards! He asked me how to deter them from coming to his house. I looked at him like he was crazy and said he'd probably not like the results -- all the bugs the lizards would've eaten.

But hey -- I can humanely remove any living creature down to an ant and up to a six-year-old child with no harm done and I'm not scared of any of them. I'll even do mice.

Want to start a franchise?

ouch...that's a bit of a mare ain't it...well couldn't Gruff sorted the wee critter himself?

It was huge Bob, huge I'm telling you, at least 3 feet across, no in fact it was 6 feet across, it could have been a Vampire. Blood dripping from it's rabid razor sharp fangs. Wesley Snipes would have cacked himself.

How much?!?! I think I will keep the mouse after all then. How about Mervin?

It certainly would be a far more noble profession, and of more use to the society as a whole.

FYI- usually the police/sherrif/city/county have animal control officers who come for free.

Ours charge, they said it's free for a dog, but they charge something like $80 for taking a cat.

Sounds reasonable, do they travel?

There have been plenty of noble attorneys, plenty, like, um, um...
nevermind.

lol

I have my own plastic cup and dairy queen lid. Can we go into business together?

Oi queue jumper!

hehehehe

What about the bloke wot got OJ off? Genius!