Pants

Hi Michaela

How are you?I didn't expect to log on and see my mate from brummie on here...still why not happens to so many of us. The homesickness I mean.!
I was the same as you in as far as I didn't and still don't dislike Australia. I missed my mates and family and used to feel empty. It takes such a long time to establish friendships. I never left the UK to escape. I went to try and see what life would be like and to give our daughter a "better" life.

So many people have raised valid points in their replies.
We have been back here 7mnths and it is great but things have changed. I was away 21/2yrs and as Dunroving pointed out don't expect to pick up where you left of. I have felt like all we have done since coming home is pay out..for eveything and it seems so expensive. Not clothes, shoes, toys, food just bills for this and that. There is good and bad in both countries. I found it pretty hard to settle back here, couldn't help but compare things to Oz. I know my daughter is very happy here and so is my Aussie hubby. We have just brought a house and are settling here in East Sussex.I don't regret coming back but there is a possibility that in a good few years we will look at heading back to Oz and trying out a different part. But for now this is home and it's time to make the most of it.

Remember when you come back you are possibly in "holiday"mode. It's not an easy decision to make and I don't envy you. Good luck sweetie I know it will work out the way you wish it too.
Love P x

MrsB

Dear Michaela
I have just found this site and think its great. I too am here for 2 years, but am homesick and want to go home at the end of 2 years once we have our citizenship, but I have only been here 3 and a half months!!!! So you are luckily inthat you only have 10 months to go - its not long. I can totally relate to everything you've said, and also Kath, and its great to find people in the same situation, but also, see that people have come and gone back home. Because here, all you meet (obviously) are the brits who have stayed - and I find that scary. I like it here, but it isn't my home, and my family don't live here. I too will stick it out for 2 years, but I'm just so glad that I'm reading stories from others in the same boat, and also people who've gone back to England. I haven't had a trip home yet (well, obviously), but am trying to wangle one for June/July. If not I may have to wait for Xmas.The biggest things here, for me, are the sunshine and the beach, but I'm finding that the family link to the uk totally outweighs the sunshine. Most of the time its too hot anyway to go outdoors.

ANA123

Thanks P, have sent you a pm x

KDDDD, I hope things improve for you, I felt most homesick around 6 months, then more settled from there, and I dont now have the same constant yearning for home, it feels a bit more rational and less emotional now. I think I like australia better now than I did after 3/4 months, and have had some fantastic times here, but 2 years will be enough. Good luck, enjoy it if you can,
Michaela

MrsB

Dear Kath
Reading your experience has made me feel so much better. It could be me writing that!! Like you, we have come for 2 years to explore, and do something different whilst the kids were young enough. We had a nice house, good friends, good income, nice holidays, lived in a historic town etc etc, so we are not escaping the UK at all. I too am making myself ill, I’ve lost a stone in weight if not more. My main worry was that hubby will want to stay and I will want to go home. We have had a chat, and have agreed that if either one wants to go home – we go home. So I’m feeling much better now we have agreed that. Right now, I know I want to return home after 2 years, but I’m worried incase I change my mind (which is so silly) . What I wanted to ask is How did you manage to stay 2 whole years without going home for a holiday ? And did you come out here, with the intention of staying 2 years ? Did you at any time think you wanted to stay ? Or did you know it was for 2 years, and thought of going home throughout the 2 years. I keep thinking if I stop feeling homesick – that means I want to stay!!!! But there is so much to go home for, not just all the family thing, but the accessibility to the whole of Europe, and I miss so many things that other people have posted on here. I am going to stop now…..

MrsB

you sound like you're talking yourself into staying now!!! But you do still want to go home don't you ? I like it here too, but not enough to stay forever.

Grayling

Hi
Michaela

Not much I can say really except that I hope you can settle soon (wherever you decide).

Best wishes

G

Phoenixuk2oz

This is really well put Michaela. You've really given it your best shot, but Aus is not for you. At least like you said, you've tried it.

You have many options if you gain citizenship and then go back "home". It's not the end of the world and you can always come back if you want, or you might even stay in UK....the choice will be yours.

I admire your rationale, logic and strength and good luck in whatever you decide.

Deb+Chris

Good luck to you all coming home.. what a flipping hassle.

We all seem to be searching for something which isn't there.... anywhere!!!!

But at least we all tried, which is the main thing... we had balls!!

Wish you all well and the very best of luck
Never stop smiling and never blame anyone or anything or any place for what's happened... cos I did all 3 LOL!

Debs

HiddenPaw

Hi Michaela
Your sentiments in this thread echo exactly how mine were/are. We went to Oz for an adventure for 2 years before settling down to have a family....we didn't plan to stay forever (altho did not rule it out), and just thought we'd take it as it came. Although we had a great time, I guess in some ways we are pretty indifferent about living there for ever - by that I mean that things were good but they didn't far outweigh the life we had in the UK. We had a good life in both places. I guess we really look at Australia as offering 'different' things, and not 'better' things.

I think you are doing the right thing staying for citizenship, it gives you future options and it means you can return to the Uk and settle back into UK life without worrying about visas expiring (which is the situation we are in as we don't have citizenship). ( If we had the cit. we would not consider moving in the next 5 years at least.)

As regards how we feel about moving back, we came back for the family support and I would not change what we did. It's important for us that baby knows her grandparents while she can, and vice versa for them. Some days I do not have the enthusiasm to go back to Australia. I am happy here and the negative aspects of the UK (Daily Mail-style!) are not enought to drive us out. Having lived in Australia we appreciate things that the UK offers so much more. Every country has good and bad so although we moan about our Council Tax we can balance it against the 40-45% income tax (or whatever it was) that we were paying in Oz . Ditto for every other gripe we have about something!

Good luck and remember that not wanting to live in Australia doesn't make you a freak!! I battled with this for a long time - especially with so many people on the Oz forum telling you that the UK is a dump. Go with your instincts!

wombat42

You live in Melbourne and you say " its too hot most of the time to leave the house" . l lived in Melbourne for 12 years and found there were many more days where it was too cold to leave the house. l would spend 6 months of the year sitting next to the fireplace keeping warm. In winter it the Temperature gets between 0-12 some days and it sometimes snows on the hills on the outskirts of Melbourne. 9 months of the year the temperature rarely goes over 25c and during 3 months of summer there would only be around 15 days that l would describe as being too hot to leave the house.
Do you call 15 really hot days in one year being too hot most of the time

julius smith

well, here's my ha'porth.....i agree with deb/chris here...we seem to be looking for something thats not there! say that again! we came back from canada some time ago, hoping to come back to good ol england, the england we were used to in our childhood. well, it just aint there! england now is not what it used to be--we have been away around 6 mths in all, and we see changes here already. and all the changes seem to be negative. its been said 1000 times before, but i'll say it again---all we see are louts, yobs, money-grabbing taxation, laws determined to screw the normal man-in-the-street while the criminals/yobs go scot free, excessive uncontrolled immigration, etc etc. in my mind, if these new ills were curtailed severly, the uk would be a nice place to live, but its too damn latenow--the milk is spilt! this is why we are caught in circles now--why oh why did we come back here? to what? for this? so, before you move back, take a long long look at the future.

Deb+Chris

Yeah but Jullius... how happy are your family right now? are you now nearer to your childrens grandparents? what does that mean to you? cos I know damn well it means a hell of a lot to me now!!

My uncle died yesterday.. he was 42.. my mums baby brother.. thank goodness I am here for her.. family is everything.. no matter what you think. Forget ****ing beaches and forests, they mean nowt when your family are in England. OK so some people will say this is soppy and old fashioned shite.. I say it's all about LOVE !!!! rubbish as that sounds!!!!! love is everything. I am glad to be here with my family at a shitty time thank you very much and I will never go try living in a daft far flung over-estimated place!! ever again!!!!

The UK does it for me cos my family is here..I want to be here to care for them... how the hell I thought I would do OK in NZ I don't know.!!! what a nutter I Was!!! LOL!!!

Home is Home.xx

janeyray

The 10 months until you can get your citizenship will be much easier to do once you know you're going back. When we decided to return to the UK we had to wait another 7 months so we could take our pets back. It was made easier knowing that I wasn't staying forever!! I know how you feel, sometimes I was so lonely and homesick I would go and take my hubby his lunch during his lunch hour and just cry about going home to the UK!
He wanted to stay but we made a pact to all return if one of didn't want to stay.

We have settled really well back here. The first two weeks were the worst but nothing like the feelings I felt in OZ. Now after 10 months of being back we 'have' slotted back into out lives and everything is back to normal. We have different jobs and a new house and we are all happy. Australia very rarely gets mentioned. We have our photos and the memories and we're happy with that.

We are getting on with our lives here now, we've had our adventure and we're glad to be back. I never wake up with that awful feeling of being so far away from my family and friends.

janeyray

lol

How true your words are. Don't really know what I was thinking when I left my family to go to OZ.

I tell you what though, people get blinded by the 'emmigrating to OZ' bug and it's all they want to see, myself included. It's onto the internet to look at the lovely houses for half the price of here, the weather seems like paradise and the 'new outdoor life' calls. The beaches every weekend with a bbq at the neighbours sounds wonderful.

People don't want to hear critisism about somewhere they are dreaming of living out their perfect lifesyles, to many it may seem like they have won the lottery when they first arrive. No where could be nicer than the place of their dreams. Until reality hits (for most). Some love it though and if it works for them well done.

Deb+Chris

That's the thing though Janeyray... theres no such ******* thing as paradise!! OZ? NZ? CANADA? Pile of shite. you have to ask youselves why you are doing it in the first place.


I couldn't give a flying ***** what people think of me, I hated NZ, I came home, SO WHAT HEY?

But the NZ bashers won't hear of it... lying cow I am.. making it all up!! LOL!! So now and again I come to this forum and see Merlot who is a super star troll catcher and enjoy the banter. Then today my Uncle dies and I am feeling emmotional about England.

I am happy I am here,

My family is lovely and they need me.

I need my family too!!!

TA... See ya later JaneyRay