sonlymewalter

Culture shock is something we tend to associate with living in a foreign country when ironically it can also occur when going back *home*

Moving from one culture to another you experience differences, you start again in terms of familiarizing yourself with the culture, friends, social life, different weather, living standards, different housing etc and to top it all the relationships you left behind you find you have re-introduced yourself back in to and some of these may have also changed. This can make anyone feel like a fish out of water as it's all a lot to take in. Even someone who is strong and can make up their mind easily may find themselves disorientated.

Sometimes after time it gets better, sometimes worse. And the hardest thing of all is it's all about individual requirements so what's good for one is not for another so only you can decide what you want to do and what fits best with your expectations.

It sounds like you are in touch with your feelings Dunrovin and that you have much self awareness so that's a great start in knowing where you want to go and what you want to do in life. It's early days yet and you're still orienteering so give it time. I'm sure you'll make the right decision at the right time when you do finally decide.

Good luck

Sally Simpson

Pity though!

lionheart

Hey Dunroving
What views does your twin brother hold on the subject? As twins, you presumably have similar emotions...or maybe not. By the way, please don't think about moving to Dubai to join him...it's a real cesspit here. No culture whatsoever and people here are so artificial. Mind you, the students would undoubtedly benefit from your experience and expertise and the money would be good...
Lionheart

dunroving

He has been very supportive over the past 12 months since I came back, even flew back here for a week over his half term last October. He's coming back this Christmas for 2 weeks and as his house here is now rented out he will stay at mine.

We've only touched on the possibility of me returning to the US, mostly focusing on dealing with the current situation and adjusting to life and work back here. His wife did ask him to ask me if I was interested in moving to Dubai (my uni has a branch in Dubai, but it's just the business school), but that would be madness. My days of moving to completely new situations are long gone.

He is enjoying Dubai, but mostly because of his job and the expat group he hangs out with are pretty sound. His wife lived there for many years so they also had an immediate circle of friends and family when they moved there this past summer (he was in Cairo and Saudi before that).

If I moved back to the US it would be tough on both of us as we've spent most of our adults lives (since 1983) living in different countries (to his kids I was always Uncle Dave in the Bahamas/Massachusetts/Georgia/Tennessee/North Carolina). I think both of us had it in our minds that at some point we'd both settle in the same country, even the same town. Might sound weird, but I think both of us would be quite happy living next door to each other from now until we meet our maker. If I moved back to the US it would probably be permanent (this last experience makes me realize if I lived overseas I probably couldn't adjust to moving back here at retirement), so that would be the end of our "plan". Early days yet to be making decisions, but if I did return, I'd probably take trips back here a lot more often than the once every couple of years or so that I used to.

Marmalade

Dunroving, I really enjoy reading your posts on here.

I can feel the thinking process going on in your head. You are weighing all sides and want to make a sound decision, not just an emotional decision. For the last couple of years I have seriously been thinking of moving back to Scotland and have discussed it with many friends and family, looked into the logistics of moving, and also made sure that career-wise I was making the right move. I am now in the middle of getting things ready for a move, hopefully next year.

It takes a long time to completely make that decision, so I think you are very wise in you wanting feedback from others that have done this. You are a very smart guy. Also, just ignore those loonies that post on here. There's always a few wherever you go, no country is excluded, right

on a mission

Just remember that twonks such as me, have made many mistakes sorry had many lessons, and in such cases I may at least once be able to offer good advice or offer something good that will help.

Just because I dont hold a phd or a high end job doesnt mean I am stupid, thick or a twonk as you call it. (twt I think you ment)

For example, I am offeringto save someone a few grand on shipping stuff to WA.

so call me what you want, theres more to people than just black and white on a web forum.....and misunderstood posts.

good luck with your highly opioniated views, typical of a disullionsioned expat.

Yoong

Hi Dunroving,
Why won't you focus on here and now.I think going to Dubai to
be with your brother and his family would be good for you since
the two of you are so close.Remember the moment you have with your
brother is now not in retirement because we don't know our future.

In my case, I emigrated to Canada to be with my sister,we had
lots of wonderful time together when I came here for holidays.
We planned our future,the travelling,etc.
Just a month before I due to land here,she had an anuerysm and died.

If you reframe the move to Dubai as a move to be with your loved
ones and take it one day at a time.
Just my humble opinion.Good luck with your decision.
Yoong

Sally Simpson

Excuse me, but wasn't me that called you that!

Also, your comment to dunrovin' was particularly unhelpful & lacking in support, so I stand by my comment made earlier in the thread, that if you have nothing of value to add, shut up!
Also, you may wish to remove that huge chip from your shoulder, as the vast majority of us on here are just ordinary working people, trying to better their lives!

on a mission

bit confused if I have quoted something I shouldnt apologies.

I will shut up after this post on here, dont think I am adding any value.

Only thing is I understand people need support, but sometimes treating people with big cotton wool gloves and acting melow dramatic and as if they are victims doesnt help anybody.

There you go, wallow as much as you want, world has many opportunities, just because it doesnt match your expectations dont fester blaming somebody or a country for the inability to adapt and conquer the task you set yourself up for.

Sorry if some of my comments touch a nerve, but I am sure you will find some of this is true.

Good night and god bless, I hope its all worth it, where ever, its not a rehearsel.