pommybird

Guilt....a word that I have read frequently on this forum, guilt about dragging reluctant husbands back to the UK from Oz/Canada/US etc, guilt about unsettling our children's lives by taking them back to the UK, guilt about all the money we've wasted, guilt about disappointing our families who say 'you'd be mad to come back to the UK- it's a dump!!'....I could go on...but you get my drift, a lot of us feel a lot of guilt about moving back to the UK.

I did when I first dragged my husband kicking and screaming back to the UK - he loved Perth and his life there and I loathed my life there - so with a lot of guilt and pain and arguing he agreed to come back with me.

Now having been back for 18 months I finally realise what a bloody waste of time and effort feeling guilty was!

Looking at the situation logically - me and my OH were born in the UK, we met in the UK, we had our babies in the UK, we had a happy life in the UK. We decided to emigrate and give Oz a go - well it did not work out for us - as far as I'm concerned if one of you is unhappy with the move then it has not worked out for you as a family, it's not fair to expect one person to live a life of misery because one or two other members of the family are happy with the move.

The way I see it we were all were happy in the UK - we tried Oz - OH loved it but I was miserable - it was an experiment that did not work out.

Now we are back in the UK the hubby is as happy as ever (like I knew he would be despite everything he said about the move back) and I wonder what all the pain, anguish and guilt was all about.

Guilt - it's a wasted emotion that can consume you - it never has any positive effect - only negative. Stay strong and be true to yourself - don't let yourself be controlled by guilt and don't give into it!

CBANDY

Well said.

jojosan

Crikey PB - you made me cry then! However, quite easy to do at the moment as am feeling veeeery depressed. We're going home for the same reasons you've said, not getting on too well at moment due to the stress of it all, and going home to no house and no jobs (like loads of others I know). If only I could bottle hindsight then a) I'd never have come here and b) I'd be rich selling it to everyone else

horrigans

Thank you so much! That's exactly what we're going through at the moment. Hubs does not want to go back to the UK at all... but I'm desperately unhappy here. He said yesterday (in yet another of our monumental rows) that if we went back to the UK in 2 months' time I'd be as happy as Larry and he'd be feeling like I am now. How can I live with that? The prospect of staying in Australia is making me feel suicidal. I just cannot stand it for much longer but that's not enough for him. We weren't unhappy in the UK, but we wanted to give this a go as it's where his parents live and we (misguidedly) thought we would be able to afford to live more comfortably here.

Why can't it be okay to admit that it's not what you thought it was and just go home without all the guilt??

Sarah (trapped in Oz and v.unhappy)

TraceyW

Hey, no-one else is allowed to feel guilty...I have the monopoly on that feeling!!!!

As far as my little brain is concerned; I'm ruining my husbands life, I'm going to unsettle my kids, I'm going to financially knacker us up completely and, to top that, I've wasted four years of my life at uni because the chances of me getting a teaching position in Devon are slim to anorexic!

"Oh happy day, oh happy day......"!!!!!!

mumof5

Is that because you have Australian teaching cert? Just interested as I was planning on doing my PGCE here, changed my mind upon arriving and doing it back in the UK.
Take Care.

TraceyW

Yes, in a way. I will have a B.Ed which qualifies me to teach in the UK without having to do my PGCE. However, I can only work on a temporary basis for four years, I then have to complete something or other to gain QTS. I can do it in class with proven records and observation though, so that's not too bad.

BUT, the main hassle is going to be getting the position in the first place. In Devon there are more teachers than there are jobs. At my cousins school, over 100 teachers applied for one job , so top that off with my 'can only work on a temp basis' it kind of lays the odds against me getting a job. I will try though and test the waters. If not, I'll be shelf stacking in Tesco's!!

Fleaflyfloflum

I have the guilts for the opposite reason to everyone else. Ok, ok, so the kids were grown up and left home before i exited the UK, but i still feel like i abandoned them, which to them is always a great source of amusement, but i cant help it. I wont be happy till i am back where i belong

rabsody

How about contract work Tracey? Is that big in the UK? Seems to be here.

rangersman2

you obviously still have hang ups about it cause thats why you are still bleeting on about it on this forum

ree76

See Pommybird, a prime example of why you left OZ. It has lovely people like this living here

pommybird

Did I give you permission to speak??? No I did not so shut it!

pommybird

So sorry I made you cry - good luck with the move back - it''ll all come good you'll see

Sarah is there anyone close you can talk to about how you are feeling - you can always come on BE and offload whenever you want - there's normally a friendly face on here at all times!

Well guilt is all part of being a wife and a mother BUT we are people in our own right too and at some point we must all think about our own needs.

Sending you lots of - you'll be back where you belong soonxx

Absolutely ree!!

P.S In case you haven't noticed I've just learned to mulit quote and I am so showing off!! P.P.S Thanks for all the lovely karma messages I've had on the back of this thread!