British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   was the grass greener? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/grass-greener-631137/)

Aviator Sep 19th 2009 7:29 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by Easterndawn (Post 7946130)
I am not sure why anyone would want to stay in someplace that it took them 10 years to feel like they belonged? That is along time to feel that way.

Yes, but what I said was that it took 3 years to feel settled and more like 10 to feel like we belonged, as in fully integrated into the culture and society. In the first three years, there is a lot to learn and get accustomed to, which is quite unsettling, more for some than others. For many it gets easiery from there on.

After one trip beck to blighty many years ago I did have the brainwave that we should all move back as I got offered a really (exceptional) job. My OH told me I would be going on my own, we stayed and are all pleased we did.

bettyboo67 Sep 19th 2009 7:43 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by The Aviator (Post 7944492)
Had you considered getting citizenship before leaving? It gives you and your children options in the future. There have been a few on here recently who's parents went back and the kids as adults want to come back, but have to go through the whole immigration process over again. Two and a half years is still pretty short time, after three years we started to settle in, it was ten before we really felt like we belonged here. When working I could be in the UK a couple or so times a month and was always glad to be going home to Canada.

We are thinking of getting citizenship although it would depend on how long that would take and part of me wonders if it would make it more difficult to settle back into the UK knowing we had a get out clause as it were. But from what I've been reading on here about ping pong poms it would seem to be sensible advice.
We would not be able to stick it out for 10 years however (even if I wanted to) I would probably be dragging along a reluctant 15 year old and leaving behind an 18 year old.
I know of quite a few people (some are relatives)who have been here 20 or 30 years who would like to move back and now feel stuck due to grown up kids/grandkids. They may well be looking at the UK through rose tinted specs having been away for so long but I would hate to think that I would spend my last days or years wishing I were somewhere else.
Thanks for all the advice/karma:):)

salmanmcs Sep 19th 2009 8:48 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
I guess it is very subjective, and depends what you left back home and what you are looking for....home sickness is a must for everyone and depends upon your personal experiences in back home and in Canada....

I am thinking and planning to go back to Pakistan...(though things are not very promising) but...my parents are old and then need me...

Good luck...

Salman

Aviator Sep 19th 2009 8:52 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by bettyboo67 (Post 7946196)
We are thinking of getting citizenship although it would depend on how long that would take and part of me wonders if it would make it more difficult to settle back into the UK knowing we had a get out clause as it were. But from what I've been reading on here about ping pong poms it would seem to be sensible advice.
We would not be able to stick it out for 10 years however (even if I wanted to) I would probably be dragging along a reluctant 15 year old and leaving behind an 18 year old.
I know of quite a few people (some are relatives)who have been here 20 or 30 years who would like to move back and now feel stuck due to grown up kids/grandkids. They may well be looking at the UK through rose tinted specs having been away for so long but I would hate to think that I would spend my last days or years wishing I were somewhere else.
Thanks for all the advice/karma:):)

Unless you have been out of the country, around 3 years an you can apply for citizenship and another 6 -12 months for it complete, for which you have to be here until the swearing in ceremony. Tough as it is, it may be worthwhile for you kids to give them option in the future. Only you know what is best for you, hope it works out.

jonfrank123 Sep 19th 2009 7:09 pm

Re: was the grass greener?
 
I bailed on Canada with only a year left until I got my citizenship. I really couldn't see my self wasting another year just to get a piece of paper that I would never want to use again.

FlangeMcGravity Sep 20th 2009 8:34 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
Me and my kids have citizenship through birth - my parent's are Canadian and now live in Scotland.

My wife's eligilble for citizenship as of August, so we're going to get that before we do anything else. Always nice to have options.

Who knows what might happen further down the line...

Aviator Sep 20th 2009 9:06 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by FlangeMcGravity (Post 7948608)
Who knows what might happen further down the line...

Too true, you never know what you are going to live to regret until you regret it.

sans Sep 24th 2009 7:56 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
It was definitley not greener for us in Canada.....But returning to the UK was far greener on returning then it had been on leaving :D

MartianTom Sep 29th 2009 2:53 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
Hi Jen,
Check out this thread I started a little while back. It might be helpful. :cool:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=608297

NotTooShabby Sep 29th 2009 4:49 pm

Re: was the grass greener?
 
No. It was different grass and still needed mowing.

Xebedee Sep 29th 2009 9:14 pm

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by NotTooShabby (Post 7976585)
No. It was different grass and still needed mowing.

Here its twice a week in the summer and you need a break each time to escape the humidity. :p

brits1 Oct 1st 2009 7:00 pm

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by Londonuck (Post 7944963)
What Aviator said, with bells on.

Our friend was going back after 1.5 years in Aus (many,many years ago now) and people said the same thing to her, they were so unhappy but was going to stay to get citizenship just for the reason you mentioned....when asked by there older son why they was staying when so unhappy our friends said "just incase...the future etc"...her son replied " I would not ask you to stay for that reason if I wanted to come back myself I would work for it"...years later her son still lives in the U.K but travels to work in Europe when needed....has never thought of returning to Aus......sometimes your children do have to do things on their own....

ramac Oct 2nd 2009 4:37 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
The grass is definitely not greener... it just tastes different.

I could have written this reply. We are also in Hamilton, and we often talk about moving home. The trappings of Canada that so appealed when we first arrived have worn off a long time ago. I miss family and friends and find that the longer I am here, the more intense my feelings seem to be.

Our stumbling block right now is the age of the children. We are caught right at the teenage years. I am wracked with guilt even at the mere thought of moving home and therefore feel very trapped here for the next so many years.

To the original poster, do what your heart tells you, but do not move because you think the grass may be greener.

Nicola N-A Oct 4th 2009 5:20 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 
Been reading everyones posts with great interest - subject close to home (no pun intended!). I've been feeling incredibly homesick and have made no secret of the fact that if it were just me, I'd leave. It's not just me though. I have 3 children and I'm uncertain for them. My husband in adamant that he would stay put. So I guess my dilema over geography also involves the dilema of divorce. Tough choices to be made ahead I guess....

Anyone had this particular double whammy to deal with?

Aviator Oct 4th 2009 8:38 am

Re: was the grass greener?
 

Originally Posted by ramac (Post 7984159)
The grass is definitely not greener... it just tastes different.

Or smokes different :)


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