estarriol

I'm wondering, a couple of weeks before I return to the UK, if I'm ever going to regret coming to Australia in the first place.

For some years I'd been unhappy with my life in the UK, working in the city and having to travel 3+ hours per day to and from work on overcrowded, late trains, the greyness of everything in London, the politics, etc.

I'd been considering trying out other countries - Canada, especially, when I fell in love with an Australian woman and decided, given that she had to go back, that I'd go with her.

A year later, I've not gotten on here, or with her, and I've decided to come back to the UK. I can barely wait to get back, I miss it so much.

I don't regret coming here though, it's opened my eyes in a number of ways and made me realise that my problems really stemmed from my life, not England, and whilst there are things in England that aren't great, by and large, we don't have to be a part of them if we don't want.

I've come to realise by being in Australia that I'm "very English", and I love England, there are wonderful things in England that aren't here, and may well be nowhere else. I long to roam the English countryside, to sit in a pub garden on a long, cool summer evening chatting to my mates, to have history and culture all about me, to have shops I can walk to, my hobbies back, good TV and so on.

Rather than leaving the UK permanently, what I should be doing is changing my life to remove myself from the things I don't like here - move into the Green Belt so that I can still get into London but don't live in the suburbs, try to work as a company that provides services from my home office rather than hire my services out to go and work in their offices, move to a nicer area, travel more, and so on.

I've come to realise that some things I accepted as inevitable, and they weren't, I was like an elephant tied to a sapling, giving myself more limitations than the world had for me, fearing change.

None of this would i have realised if I hadn't come to Australia. It has been a traumatic, costly and saddening experience, but it has changed me for the better, and I'm glad I did it.

I'm wondering how others who have emigrated and come back found things, whether you regret having left at all, and wish you'd never gone? Whether you came back with an attitude like mine, and it *did* make a difference for the better - or not? Did you find that you truly did appreciate England more permanently, or if that feeling wore off quickly?

Alexandra

You know, I think wishing you hadn't done something is totally fruitless. Think about it this way: at least you are not one of those people who only say they are going to try something you, you actually did it. Life is too short to regret anything. Whatever it was, it was an experience, an adventure (who says adventures should always be sugar-coated?), and coming back is great. My friends in UK can't wait for us to be back, and we are looking forward to seeing them again. On the other hand, the friends we've made in Canada are devastated, and so are we.
It also depends on why did you move in the first place. If you wanted to move because you hated your situation or city, it's one thing, and in this case you are right, maybe just changing the scenery a little would have helped. But you wouldn't have known this unless you've tried Australia, right? In our case, we moved because we wanted to stir things up a little, and we did. And now we are going back, but despite of everything, we have no regrets. You shouldn't have any either.

jat

dont have any regrets - if you hadnt of come to oz you would always be thinking 'what if'..... i came for a year and stayed almost 5... in some ways i wish i had went back sooner... but at least i know i gave it my best shot...
i never emigrated i came to have an adventure.. my first year was hell on earth by the way and sometimes wonder looking back how on earth i survived...

im looking forward to going back.. but also a bit nervous at times... ill miss the friends ive made here but like alexandra said - there are all my friends back home too....

but like you i will look at things differently - as it has opened my eyes and i do think the UK is a great country to live in - not that i didnt before - but i will appreciate it ...
and the travel - cant wait!

Tapalinga

Life would be so boring if we could all see into the future and know how things are going to turn out. We wouldn't do all these wonderful adventures of life, we would just stay put.

I put coming to oz as part of my journey to find the real me, as you say it was not England that had the problems it was you!!

We could go and live in paradise but if you are not happy then it just isn't paradise. love who you are first and the rest will come.

We are heading back to the UK not because it hasn't worked out here but because it has worked out. We now see that we were looking externally for our happiness, but all the time it is inside of us.
Good luck

janeyray

[QUOTE]Originally posted by estarriol
I don't regret coming here though, it's opened my eyes in a number of ways and made me realise that my problems really stemmed from my life, not England, and whilst there are things in England that aren't great, by and large, we don't have to be a part of them if we don't want

I think it opens everyones eyes, and it certainly made 'us' realise what kind of lifestyle we took for granted back in the UK. You're right about problems stemming from life, not with the country itself.
**************************************

I long to roam the English countryside, to sit in a pub garden on a long, cool summer evening chatting to my mates, to have history and culture all about me, to have shops I can walk to, my hobbies back, good TV and so on.

Glory days....Culture, Culture, Culture, nothing like that here (in OZ) for us. Hobbies, chatting with 'real' friends and family. ************************************************

Rather than leaving the UK permanently, what I should be doing is changing my life to remove myself from the things I don't like here - move into the Green Belt so that I can still get into London but don't live in the suburbs, try to work as a company that provides services from my home office rather than hire my services out to go and work in their offices, move to a nicer area, travel more, and so on.

This is a point I made on Expats a few months ago, it's not about changing the country you live in to make things feel better, it's about changing certain things in your life.

We don't regret coming because if we hadn't it wouldn't have made us realise what a nice, comfortable life we had back in the UK

MikeStanton

Great post.

I don't regret going to Oz - it taught me a lot about myself - what's important and what's trivial - and why UK is, deservedly, one of the best countries in the world. Oz is way down the league.

You hit the nail on the head, when you said "...made me realise that my problems really stemmed from my life, not England..."

estarriol

"I don't regret going to Oz - it taught me a lot about myself - what's important and what's trivial - and why UK is, deservedly, one of the best countries in the world. Oz is way down the league."

Quote of the Month, right there.

That's exactly how I feel. Of course, it's all totally subjective - I have a friend who moved here a few years ago and loves it far more than England.

To me, there is a magic about England that I haven't found here, although I have found it elsewhere in Europe.

If I can be permitted to wax mystical a little more, it's almost as if the universe sensed my lack of direction in life, and sent me on this quest to find myself.

I'd like to add, for anyone who thinks I regret going to Oz due to the somber nature of my first post, I don't - I learned long ago to regret nothing, and always look for the good that can be taken from any experience. It's not always easy not to regret, but I've always made it in the end.

So far nobody has put their hand up and admitted to regretting leaving the UK... anyone? Has anyone found a new appreciation for England and found it to not stay with them?

My greatest worry, now, is that within a few months I'll settle back into my old life so completely that I begin to take for granted what I have once more, and lose the new appreciation I have for my home, and the personal drive to transform my life for the better. That *would* be a waste.

MikeStanton

Just watch any Oz program (eg Neighbours) for 2 mins - that high-pitched Aussie whine coupled with the cultural void will act as an instant cure

CalgaryAMC

Logic dictates that no place will be better than another when freedom of movement, of people and things, exists between the two.

All you can have is personal preferences. And unless that preference is for something that is immovable, like weather, you will not find happiness by looking for the temporal in either location, since they will all equalize over time.

I am up late working on something. Coffee, greek symbols, and lots of decimal places are addling my brain

MikeStanton

Interesting theory, and over the very long term (hundreds of years) it may be correct. But, as Keynes said "In the long term we're all dead", so not very relevant.

One of the reasons that cultures differ from one country to another include history, restrictions of movement (which, Oz, Canada and UK all employ), physical geography, weather, economic riches etc. So, countries end-up being very different. The only equalization occurs at a superficial level. However, that does have one big consequence. Countries, eg Oz and Canada can appear superficially similar to UK (because of the language), whereas their cultures are very different.

As the Greek philosophers pointed out many years ago, happiness is found from within. But, of course, we all think we know better...

CalgaryAMC

You are right of course.

Now can you tell me how much the oil in Saskatchewan is worth?

Bellefield

So far nobody has put their hand up and admitted to regretting leaving the UK... anyone? Has anyone found a new appreciation for England and found it to not stay with them?

I would like to put my hand up and admit that I regret leaving the UK. I know I am a little late in replying, and hopefully you are back there and enjoying all the things you missed.
I have been here for over a year now, a total of three with a wee break in between,which happened to be back in the UK. This is when I realised that I quite liked my life/self, but thought I wanted to come back to OZ. I just don't feel like myself here. In saying that, I had to come to understand that I don't want to be Australia to live my life. Expensive and time consuming, but finally out of my system. I hope to experience the UK with a renewed appreciation of everything it has to offer.
But today I booked my one way ticket home in February and I can't stop smiling, now that it has sunk in.
Can't wait to do that flight one last time!!!

MikeStanton

Welcome home.

estarriol

Wow, I haven't posted here in ages, but I just got an e-mail because you replied to this thread.

I still don't regret ever leaving the UK. I love travel, and going to Oz has convinced me that I should do more of it - but as travel, not as emigration. The main negative effect it's had on me, to be honest, is financially - moving both ways was very expensive (something like £10,000 total in actual attributable costs), and I had to rebuild my business at both ends, which is proving very difficult at the moment. (If anyone needs a skilled freelance Web developer or general IT guru, please let me know - I specialise in MS web technologies and servicing SMEs, no job too small or too large).

As for the appreciation for Britain - no, it hasn't worn off, although I don't feel it acutely all the time as I did when I was about to come back. Instead, it has sunk into my psyche as a base appreciation for our country. Things are obviously quite dark and miserable here with weather at the moment, and I am still having personal issues getting over the nightmare that my relationship over there turned into, but that's a separate issue. As soon as spring rolls around, I'll be appreciating it with the best of them. And we do Christmas so very, very well...

Best of luck to you, friend.

odaat

Great thread and replies from thoughtful beings , even that swot Stanton had something non - anal to contribute

I got off the plane in Dubai a few hours ago and met up with a colleague who I have not seen since we were both in Perth WA 8 yrs ago.

I am back in UK, he is still in Perth WA.

He is a smart guy and finds number crunching sexy ( accountant ), he asked me " Was Oz a good experience" as he is is seriously considering the numbers and moving to Dubai / London.

My reply ....
"I was all over the place a few years prior to deciding to give UK the flick.

Any place would have been OK as long as it was warm and the chance of getting myself together possible"

I found in Oz the fondness for sun therapy, swimming and the gym very therapeutic for my health. Spinning yarns with the boys good for the head and heart. The sheer beauty of the sea, sand and surf - a great soul food".

Oz did help get myself together - call it the $10,000 dollar therapy, hey, it worked ....

since coming back I find the class issues and snobbery that only the barmy brits act out very funny - it does not phase me as it used to. I find myself laughing out loud at the humour and the sheer biting tongue and wit that Brits demonstrate and many others just miss the point of.

I have met a few Ozzie's since getting back to UK - the men have become more and more dull, plastic and witless, and the women sexless and sun damaged with skin as rubbery as dried chicken. How come I never noticed this when I was in Uk - denial maybe ??

I was glad Oz was placed in the top 5 countries in the world -and Southern Ireland coming first I hope more take the plunge and chase thier dreams - the $10,000 dollar therapy is worth it. J
ust make sure you have an exit strategy for getting back - unlike that daft git Bush + Co

odaat ....