Good to be back
 

Hi

Just a quick update of 7 weeks back in England, after living in Perth for a year.

I'm not going to say I'm lovin' it, because I truly began to despise those three words while I was away, and anyway the feeling's much better than that! and I'm not into Americanisms anyway!

It's been extremely easy to slip back into my old life (yes, I know it was only a year), but that's what I like about it, it's easy here - for me, anyway. No more waking up in the morning with that twisted gut feeling of "shall we stay, or shall we go". I didn't dislike Perth, it just wasn't for us for many many reasons. It was like one very long holiday, and like every holiday, you take fond memories home with you. It was a fabulous experience, and one which I haven't regretted. We took that time to have some great adventures and look back at what we could have done differently with our lives rather than jumping on that plane. But, like I said I don't regret jumping on that plane - we did it for a reason.

We came back to our old house and old cars, which is great. Hubby is working away which is the only downside, but we're not adverse to moving at some point (anyone know much about Northampton?), as long as it's in the UK.

I spent the first couple of weeks driving through all the country back lanes around where I live, and it was truly wonderful. I loved the coast in Perth but I'm a definite country girl! I've enrolled both my boys in a village school on the edge of the Peak National Park which is a 20 min drive, but worth it for the view. My 8 year old is still settling in at school and trying to get used to the playground obsession of football - which he hates. At the moment he much prefers his Perth school, but it's still early days.

The friends and family thing is uber important to me. To have my mum not far away is priceless. Before we left for Perth I told her that we would come home twice a year and she could come over for holidays etc., but in reality I knew it would never work out that way. My stepdad became immobile so mum is a full time carer, so hols to Perth would have been out of the question. The plane journey is so long with two young children, then having to cope with jet lag either end, and the long tearful goodbyes to contend with wasn't an attractive thought. It would have been too much agony all round.

We're best off back home. :)

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I lived in Northampton for 25 years before moving to the States 4 years ago. Glad to hear things are going well for you back in the UK .....now counting down to when we move back next year.

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Welcome back Heljinder!Sounds like you are settling in very well.Peace of mind is very comforting is'nt it?;)Anyway best of luck and have a great "new"life!:thumbsup:

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It is good to be back isn't it:thumbsup:

All the best to you and your family.

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Thanks for the update Heljinder, it's always good to hear from returnees whether it's good or bad. I'm glad things are slotting into place for you and that you can look back on your time in Perth with some fond memories.

I remember from your previous posts that you were not totally struck on the schools here in Perth, did you have any trouble getting places for your boys back home?

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Good Luck with your new life in the UK. Sounds like you have made the right decision to move back and glad to hear you have no regrets about Perth.:thumbsup:

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Sounds like things are going pretty well. I'm sure your son will make friends and settle soon enough.

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Thanks everyone for your replies and good wishes! Just like to add a tinsy wincy bit to my post, as I can't hold it in....

I feel so bloody alive here it's unbelievable! What is it about Perth that makes some people feel dead inside? 'fraid I was one of them. I felt sluggish and drained all the time - it was bizarre. It's all very pretty and we had some great times, but OMG I felt like injecting some life into the place! People here are so vibrant, alive and have got something to say. The media is top as far as I'm concerned. Radio 4, 5Live, BBC World Service are unmatched. The newspapers - depending which one's you read - are quality. Perth gave me a great holiday, but nowt else!

Anyway....

stm1971 - getting the boys into a school out of catchment was easy, especially for my eldest. I had to appeal to get my four year old in though, but he was accepted straight away. It's a rural village school in a very affluent area so unless you're a village kid or are prepared to make the car journey everyday the numbers stay quite low. He had a much better day today, and has made friends with non-footballing boys. His school in Perth did very well by him in the end, so I've no real complaints there.

Patzy - I'll pick your brains about Northampton if we think we might move. Hope your return back home goes well.

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Don't you just love that "I'm Home!!!" feeling? :thumbsup:

Hope all works out as great for you as it has for us. :D

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Glad things are working out for you.

We lived in Milton Keynes before moving out here, knew lots of people who lived either in MK and commuted to Northampton or Visa Versa it takes around 30 minutes to commute.

Just thought I would mention it, as we loved MK, its a great city loads to do, easy to get around and countryside easily accessible. Schools are in the main good, and lots of them are relatively new.

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Hi Tracyw,

I was only just thinking about you the other day, so pleased that you are still happy being back home :) How are you coping with the traffic and parking ?

We got back from our holidays 6 weeks ago,stayed in a place called Ilfracombe had agreat time, even though it did rain most of the week we where there. We left Ilfracome and then headed back into London, took us 4 hours on the motorway,no traffic problems.it was great.mind you I did not drive my OH had to as I was a little nervous,must be my age :lol:

All the best to you and yours I.G.

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We lived in Northamptonshire for 5 years and loved it we lived in a village called Kislingbury just North of Sixfields the cinema, bowling restaurants and supermarkets were only 2 miles away in 6 fields, OH commuted to Milton Keynes 20-25 mins down the A5 I covered the whole home counties as well as commuting to London all do able! MK is very transient but it does depend what you want.
When we moved to Bicester OH still commuted to Northampton which is another thought as is Corby, Wellingborough etc
good luck
can wait until we return 17 weeks 5 days and counting

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Thanks. Yep, it's great!

To not hear shop assistants/cashiers etc., saying "Hi, how ya going" and "enjoy the rest of your day" is fantastic! As if they gave a rats arse how I was anyway! :lol:

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Thanks both of you for the info. My hubby says from what he's already seen, that it's a lovely part of the country. Seems like there are lots of nice villages etc., and the schools look come out really well in national stats. I think I'll go down for a weekend and have a look around. Only stumbling block is moving my boys again, doesn't bare thinking about after just settling eldest in at his new school.

Hope your move back goes well janeyk.

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Hi there, yup, still loving being home, how about you? The Grockles didn't bother us at all, yes their potty driving around tiny lanes sent us a bit insane, but on the whole there was no extra pressure on the roads at all.
We felt really sorry for the poor sods heading home, towing caravans after a washout of a summer. Ah well, sympathy over with, we can have our beaches back now for rock pooling :rofl:

I know, it's great isn't it. It used to drive me insane over there. I always wanted to say something to the "How ya gawin?" questions like "Well actually it's crap because I'm stuck in this oversized boring sandpit!" just to see their reactions!!! Just love the fact they either just grunt at me here, smile a bit and maybe, if I'm really really lucky they'll totally ignore me altogether!!!!:thumbsup:

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I must be doing something wrong then. Whenever I shop in UK I get the cheery checkout lady, who asks how it's going and smiles and is quite chatty :lol:
It doesn't really bother me, so long as it seems genuine, not the "have a nice day" I get from some grumps here.
Thinking about it, I think it's an eye contact thing. I make eye contact, they talk. I must try keeping my head down next time I'm in UK :lol:

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[QUOTE=Heljinder;7936715]
Anyway....

stm1971 - getting the boys into a school out of catchment was easy, especially for my eldest. I had to appeal to get my four year old in though, but he was accepted straight away. It's a rural village school in a very affluent area so unless you're a village kid or are prepared to make the car journey everyday the numbers stay quite low. He had a much better day today, and has made friends with non-footballing boys. His school in Perth did very well by him in the end, so I've no real complaints there.

QUOTE]

Thanks Heljinder. I have to admit my main worry at the moment is getting the kids into decent schools. I suppose a lot will depend on where we end up but it's good to know it can be done.

Hope things continue to look up for your son.

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Super to hear that things are going well for you!

That "alive" feeling is amazing when you get it I think!

Good to hear that your sons are settling - of course it will take a bit of time, as it would in either direction for most kids but, as you say, the thought of moving them again so soon could be tricky.

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Thanks quoll,

This whole education thing is so high on my agenda, that I'm thinking that I might research homeschooling if we were to move again. I've heard all the arguments for and against, but the resources and support networks are really good. It would take some planning, but it's something which could be an option.

I feel bad for eldest at the moment having taken him out of a school he was happy in, in to one which he's not. I know it's still early days, but because of the nature of the school (close knit village) most the kids have known each other since reception and frequently forget to include him in their games. He's a shy boy so coming forward isn't easy for him. It's all quite heartbreaking in that respect at the moment.

I don't regret coming back for one minute, because we all need to be happy, which I wasn't in Aus, and I don't think I ever would be. If the boys see me happy and content then hopefully that will give them the confidence to get through.

Such is life....

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its making me feel all ''fluffy '' inside thinking about it , just like a nice pair of flannelette pyjamas warmed by the fire side by my mum when i was a little un . Take me home baby take me home .If that dont make the godzoners vomit nothing will.:)

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Just remember that warm feeling you get at 3 a.m. in the morning isn't the hot water bottle.

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Can I just ask what were your kids reactions when you told them you were going home? I have a boy and girl 10 and 7 and whenever we have approached the subject of going back its met with a barrage of no's!! It was a struggle to get my eldest daughter over here - she really didn't want to leave and now she doesn't want to return!!
Feel stuck in a quandry as don't want to upset the kids but I also don't want to be the world's most miserable bastard for the rest of my life!
I really wish we had never come back to Perth in the first place!!
Dan

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At 10 and 7 aren't they swayed by the idea of seeing the family, cousins, grandparents etc?
I'm sure you can think of someone, old friends maybe that would tempt them not to be so whinny about it.
But I'm the mean mom, I just tell them, oh well, one day you'll be old and can live where you choose.
But my boys want to move and Dd is only 4, she'll be 7 once we get going.

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Hi Dan

My eldest was fine about coming back (the youngest is only four so just went with the flow). Eldest initially loved Australia, then started to cool towards it, and to this day I don't know why. I think he may have been driven by my feelings which I did try to hide, but he knows me too well.

I think a lot depends on what type of personalities your children have. My eldest has quite a passive personality and consequently will just go along with whatever is decided - poor thing! This made the decision making process easier, but had he vocalised loudly that he'd wanted to stay then I would have found it really really hard to move back. Only because, if he voices something loudly and passionately then I really know that he means business. But, at 8 he's still only a child and he has to go along with what his parents decide, so the line of authority in terms of who makes the decisions has to be drawn somewhere - horribly hard though.

We came back sooner rather than later, because i didn't want to get to the point of a possible 'no return'. It's a different ball game when kids turn into teenagers.

In our case, I was very unhappy about the prospect of making a permanent home in Australia. There was no way I could have stayed long term, and the thought of retiring there was just too scary. We had to say to ourselves in the end, we're the adults and having had the most life experience, we'll make the decisions however painful they may be. We'll be quite happy for our boys to go off were ever they choose when they're adults, but for now they go where we go, with as minimum disruption as possible.

At the moment my son isn't very happy at his new school, and I feel really guilty at taking him away from his old school where he was happier. But hopefully he'll settle soon. If not, then we'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it, but one thing's for sure we won't move abroad again.

Not sure this helps in any way. I really hope all goes well with you, and you reach some kind of decision you're all happy with. :)

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Bring em back!!, at that age they would have forgotten about Australia within 6 months or less.

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Thanks for your reply!
I know in my heart that it's (obviously!) the parents decision although that is so often a tough one! My daughter is pretty passive too, but she really seems so adament that she's not going back to UK. I think its the freedom in the school that they both love here, they think its much stricter in England (which isn't a bad decision in my opinion!!)
Its just tough to see things through a kids eyes I suppose, and of course we all want them to be happy! I'm sure your son will settle in in school soon, its always going to be hard when its a small school and I guess they don't have many 'new kids'. That was one reason i think my daughter was scared about coming to a new school here - although its the opposite , there's probably a new kid starting every day!
I think as parents if we were at each others throats every day about it then the kids wouldn't think twice about wanting to go home, we rarely fight and certainly try not to discuss any of this in front of them...Perhaps thats where we're going wrong!! :unsure:
Anyway I'm sure it'll work out - I'm going over in October just to sort my feelings out for the place once and for all!!
Good luck to you too in any decisions you make!
Dan:)

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Yep you're probably right!

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...and take them now. We have 16 & 14 yr olds with huge friendship groups and boyfriend/girlfriends. We're trapped forever! Do it now please.

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Yes I think they are but this is life here through a child's eyes, you know good weather (meaning more outdoor play) beach on doorstep etc etc..of course they would like to see family but they don't miss them as an adult would.
I could be completely harsh and say bugger you lot we're going I'm simply trying to get advice from others who are or have been in a similar situation. Its just easier to not upset the apple cart if you can help it!
My kids certainly arn't whining about anything - if anyone is its me!
Dan:blink:

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Oh Ezzie, does that post mean the move is off now? I think from reading your previous posts that you really do want to go home but are unsure about uprooting your children from all they have ever known.

You may think you are trapped now but your kids are 16 and 14, they are still children so you do have time. Once they are older, married and have children, that's when you will be trapped.

I know it is hard to make this decision, my eldest is 13 and does not remember the UK and I have the same concerns as you. But who knows what will happen in the future. The kids may end up travelling and settling somewhere in Europe if we stay, if we go back they may come back to Australia. Where will that leave us, where do we ultimately want to be?

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:rofl: Go girl let it all spill out :thumbsup: I love hearing people say how great it is to be back ;) Makes me realise i'm not really ODD at all :D

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Take them now! My eldest was 9 when we left Perth. She cried every evening for hours for three weeks before we left. She wasn't going to go to her new school, everything was awful, how could we do this to her etc etc. We took her for a trial afternoon at the new school. She came out happy and smiling and couldn't wait for the summer holidays to be over so she could go back!

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:rofl: Thanks sans!

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i with you on the sluggish feeling of life in perth . i have been dealing with it for years and the only reason for it is that i find it so remote from everywhere .
Perth has wonderful beaches and the city centre is relatively safe and clean and if it was anywhere else in the world it would be nice to live in ,if it was close to other cities etc .
I find if i go to europe then come back im ok for a while and can settle into the rut quiet easily , then i want to go somewhere else then mundaring,freo , hillarys ,yanchep lagoon ,they are all decent and nice enough places but after the 100th time pretty boring .
So i guess the problem is nt perth its us and the ones who want a bit more to life than the beach and the footie club .I cant wait to leave .
In defence of australia though , i have travelled a lot in aussie and the outback and weeks and weeks on the road have been some of the most wonderful experiences i personally have had and the people were so much more friendly in the smaller towns but they are not places i would choose to live in , thus most of us decide to live in cities then its the shopping malls for entertainment , yacccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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I could easily live in the countryside or more remote parts of the UK, but it never appealed to me in Perth - I couldn't quite work that one out :huh: That said, I liked Albany, Walpole and Denmark, and felt quite comfortable there. I think it was because the people looked a more eclectic, interesting bunch. We lived in Secret Harbour and I loathed it with a passion. I would have been better off living nearer to Fremantle or around the Cottlesloe area. Fremantle appealed to me in the same way Albany did.

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I lived in secret harbour for a year and have been back a year this week , and found the place just to sterile and false , love being home , back to our old house , kids back to old school , dont know why we left . Hope you are all enjoying being home . Hubby from Northamptonshire , some lovely villages .

Janet

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:confused: Sounds like something out of Doctor Who.

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Yes, I know what you mean. It was a very contrived place, almost like it was trying too hard to catch that community feel. It made me want to run away screaming, which I did! Fremantle, Cottesloe, City Beach area was more my bag.

I'm really happy to be home, but I don't regret our year in Perth not for one minute. I had lots of moans, but looking back on certain experiences like seeing my boys shrieking with excitement when they saw a pair of wild dolphins leaping over the waves in Bunbury, was just priceless. There are a few things I miss, but I know England is where I'm happiest and most comfortable and I no longer have to agonise over the thought of long airport goodbyes.

My hubby really likes Northampton, and said some of the villages are really pretty, so I'll be doing a trip down to have a look around quite soon.

Glad you're happy to be home too! :)

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You must visit Kislingbury, Bugbrooke and villages on the canal we had 5 lovely years in this area with great access to M1 and A5 Mk shopping 25mins at push which was fab, schools good too!