First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

So, after our first trip back, I thought I'd update you as to how it really went..... for anyone who's interested.......

The nerves turned quickly to excitement after arriving in Glasgow, and we all couldn't wait to see our families. It turned out to be very emotional, especially when I saw my parents and realised instantly, how much I had really missed them :( But they are both well and were delighted that we were home for the holidays. That was absolutely the best part of the trip.

I can't say the same about being back in Glasgow. We went to our local ASDA to get some supplies in (some wine to get me through the drama of the inlaws :drinkwine: ), and right away I saw how miserable everyone looked. Granted, this was Xmas Eve and everyone seemed stressed beyond belief but the aggression was surprising to me. No-one would let you past, everyone seemed totally self consumed as if they were in some kind of Twilight Zone, and to be honest, I couldn't wait to get out of the place. The weather was awful the whole 12 days we were there, rain, wind, more rain...... and I don't think that was helping the mood.

We had a nice birthday party for my OH's father, and his sister and the rest of the family was there and it was like we'd never been away. We had already had an ear bashing for not staying with them, as I posted before, and of course, the had to make the point, on more than one occasion to both of us, and the kids, but I was expecting that.

Rest of the time was great, seeing all the cousins, friends of mine that I hadn't seen in many years that I'd got back in touch with, but it was exhausting. Trying to fit so much in and make sure that you saw everyone that you were expected to do, and we thought we'd done a good job. That was, until New Years Day.......

So, we went to a Hogmany party at my OH's cousins house where all the other cousins were. It was a great night. We'd decided to have lunch with my parents as this was our last day before heading home, and my 90 year old grandmother was down from St Andrews. It was lovely but the intrepedation of having to say goodbye to my mum was awful, and it was as bad as I thought it would be. I think I felt worse this time than I did on the initial move and I found it really upsetting. Anyway, after that we headed to my OH's parents to have - or what we thought - a bit of dinner etc before we left. Oh how wrong could I have been.......

I was first in to the house and immediately sensed an atmosphere, but never thought much about it. Wished my MIL a Happy New Year and she responded. Headed in to the living room where my FIL was and he was sitting in front of the TV. Went over to wish him a Happy New Year, where I was met with a refusal to wish me one back. I kind of looked surprised and then it happened - the launch in to how we hadn't spent enough time with them, the way we've treated them...... at which point I shouted on my hubby who came in to the living room and was then set upon with a barrage of abuse, in front of my 3 daughters, so my oldest who is 18 decided to stick up for her dad and got set upon also, tried to run out the door in floods of tears, only to be aprehended by his side kick who was waving a metal serving spoon she'd been washing, trying to stop her going out the door........ it was like something I've never witnessed before. My husband basically said that, that was it, we left and had the door slammed behind us. So, all 3 kids were in tears, hubby was eh, raging to say the least, and I was livid. What a shit end to a mostly wonderful holiday. We kind of knew that the amount of time we'd spend with them would never be enough but never expected what came out of his fathers mouth, especially in front of his grand daughters.

So, in summary, my nerves were not really necessary before we went, it was really nice to spend time with people who we care about, and I now know where my home is for the time being. Even with the upset of leaving my parents who both got upset, I know that we did the right thing for us at the time of moving over here, and will continue to take it one day at a time for as long as it continues. Do I miss things from home?? Of course, I think we all do. Is there anything that would pull me back tomorrow apart from my mum and dad?? Absolutely not, and I know we will all be okay as long as we stick together as our family unit.

We had 2 phone calls from the MIL the next morning as were rushing about packing the last minute items, but my hubby declined them. He feels really hurt as we didn't, and still don't, think we did anything wrong, and to be honest, I don't really know how to deal with the situation apart from leaving it well alone..... and on that note, I'm off to go on a complete detox, I have never eaten and drank so much rubbish in all my life and we ended up having to buy another suitcase, just for the sweets and chocolate that the kids had decided to bring back.

So, here's to a happy and healthy 2012 to everyone and I'm starting to save up now for another trip back home next Christmas, all going well that is......

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Ahhh, the relatives....:rolleyes:

Anyway, it sounds like it wasn't too bad of a time. Glad you made it back safely! :)

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Sorry to hear about how your inlaws were with you all at the end of your visit. :( but glad to hear you otherwise had a good trip back to the old country. When we were there last year for my brothers wedding, it was pretty similar in that the beginning was good and we saw loads of people we had not seen for ages but then it all went very badly right at the end and about 10 months later it is still not been sorted. (I am sure I told you about what happened)

The weather in Scotland has been awful this last little while! Not sure I'd want to be there right now and I have no idea when/if we will go back.

Anyway, glad you made it back to the US in one piece and didn't lose your mind due to the flight problems! :thumbsup:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Thanks Sarah, yeah, I remember the problems you had too. The weather was awful to say the least and I am so glad to be back to sunshine, even though it is baltic this morning. I'm glad we went and look forward to the next trip to see my mum and dad :)

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Now you know why I don't like going back :lol:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

:argue: springs to mind......... :D:D:D

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

I do think though that if I want to see any of my family again, I will have to go to the UK as they won't come over here. Perhaps with the exception of my younger brother.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Yes :lol: funnily enough that looks like me and mother :nod:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

glad you had a good time when back, except of course for the inlaws...but, the weather is always crap in Scotland lol, im gonna enjoy the next couple of years in the sun before heading back sometime in 2014 or 2015 to stay.
whether i have any holidays back or not , ive no idea, we will just need to wait and see, had family and friends out visiting us a few weeks ago so its not all bad hehe

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

The year just gone - 2011 - was the wettest ever recorded in much of Western Scotland, and especially in the western Highlands region, rainfall totals much above average, and yesterday there were 100mph westerly winds recorded here in Edinburgh, in the south east of Scotland....trees falling like skittles all over the place.

Conversely, eastern and south eastern parts of England and parts of the south west Midlands region of England had one of the driest years recorded during 2011 with rainfall totals very much below normal. Drought conditions prevail in Cambridgeshire, Lincolnshire, Northamptonshire, Suffolk, Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire.....a dry summer 2012 would be disastrous in those areas with high warer consumption.

Boring? To all/most of you - yes. To me - n....well, yes, I suppose but I have to maintain a reputation.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

lol , seems Lothianlad is stepping up as our resident Scottish weatherman hehe :D

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Sod 'em. It's their loss.

Simple as that.

Don't worry about it, nor give it a second thought.

Flights aren't a one way streak and as you've shown, people can escape Scotland, so there's nothing stopping the miserables from coming over either for a visit.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

But would I really want them to............... :banghead:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Sorry your inlaws were such arses, glad you enjoyed most of your trip home though. It's funny how it can make you realize that the US is home.

My husband hasn't spoken to his Mum since we came back from England in June. There was no bust up while we were there, she just reacted like we had nipped in for a cup of tea from up the road, didn't ask about our lives at all, didn't engage with our daughter....

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

True, but there are plenty of woods out your way aren't there? Just a case of opps, it is winter...now where did they go? :lol:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

:rofl: Maybe I should move somewhere near woods!

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Sadly, that's my situation too. The odd thing is that I had a close relative who used to come over frequently, but now is increasingly bitter that I left England. But the reality is that you can't control other relatives' actions and it's a mug's game to try to. You just have to concentrate on the people in your life who are actually interested in you.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Nobody crawls under your skin and takes a shit like family.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Well you are moving...so why not add that to the list of requirements :lol:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

With all your misfortune over the past 2 years (lawsuit, health problems, health insurance problems, and landlord problems), it sounds like you are happy to be back.

By the way, what did you do about health insurance?

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Maybe I should have posted this in the Pet Peeves thread...but 'the holidays' really brasses me off. :frown:

It's Christmas and New Year...the holidays are in the summer months. You remember sex, sun, sand and sangria. :thumbup:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

And handy for Newtown, scene of the inspiration for the famous Fargo wood chipper scene . . . :sneaky:

Welcome back, Brat1!

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Ooops Jerseygirl, sorry, I can't believe I actually wrote that because I don't like the expression either....... maybe the inlaws have attacked my brain more than I thought :sneaky:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

That's is possible... :lol:

My future son in law is Jewish and keeps saying 'The Holidays'. Of course I correct him every time. :D

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Yes and I remember sex and sand being incompatible on occasions...

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

You know what Michael, I think all the shit that happened over the last 18 or so months, has made me a stronger person and I've really found that a lot of what I thought I was missing, I wasn't really missing at all, if that makes sense. I now know the people who matter, and those who don't so this is a new year and a new me :thumbsup:

As for the health insurance, I am covered at present but I'm still in a war of words with United, although I think I'm on a hiding to nothing with it, so it looks like hubby's is going to have to be it, although we'll be skint, but I'm feeling more positive about everything and hope that the tumour never gives me any future hassle, so thanks for asking. As usual, if I sat down more and thought things through thoroughly, I might stop panicking as much, but I'm afraid that's who I am :)

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Thanks Nutmegger, I hope you had a wonderful Xmas and I wish you all the best for 2012. And I love Bob's idea about the woods........... especially since my other half is in the landscaping business, I'm sure a chipper would be readily available, after I embalm them first........ I joke of course :angel:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Although I don't know you, the impressions that I get is that you are a bit of a drama queen but on the other hand, once you get over the drama, you appear to have a very positive attitude and don't complain about minor things.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

You know what, I don't know you either, but if I come over as a bit of a drama queen, then that's the way it is, although I would class a "drama queen" as someone who has the tendency to exaggerate everything. :confused: I don't feel that I've exaggerated about my emotions and the things that I've been through since moving and I always try and be positive for others on here as I know how tough the whole moving country and expat life thing is like. But hey, I've been called worse :flirtyeyes:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

I didn't mean to offend you and that is why I said "bit". You have never been over the top like a drama queen but I meant that you seem to get yourself over worked up about things such as the lawsuit (maybe that would be because you didn't understand that is fairly normal in the US and very little to concern yourself about).

Now as far as your illness, everybody would get themselves very worked up about something like that and I never considered that as drama.

As I said, I think you are overall a very positive person.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

That I would agree with, and I am the kind of person who gets worked up about things, only since I've not been working I have to add. When I was a Funeral Director, I didn't have time to stress about anything more than work, so I think it's all part of having too much time on my hands. Or maybe I just spend too much time on BE and FB :D

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

:lol: No its a vacation in the summer :sneaky:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

So it appears that is was just a choice of bad words on my part.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

:mad:



:lol:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

You know me too well my friend :lol: :wub:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Ah - the classic quartet!!!

Don't do all 4 of them at the same time though...

... er, allegedly. :eek:

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Oh Brat1 - this sounds too familiar. None of the family come over here to visit , so we feel its our duty, seeing as we moved away, and the grandparents are getting older etc. It absolutely gets my goat when we have paid a huge amount to fly over and stay in a hotel, and then everyone expects you to run around to their houses. So now when we fly over we let the grandparents know exactly when and we will be seeing them so they know what to expect. We also say to our brothers and sisters that if they want to catch up we will be in a certain pub/restaurant and could they join us - makes things a lot easier. P.S hope you are on the mend and that 2012 will be a lot kinder to you! xx

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

My inlaws were visiting from Scotland this summer . They spent over 4000 pnds on a cruise but nickled and dimed the whole time they were here and were just plain miserable. When we visited last year we could only go out with them if dinner was 2 for 10 pnds.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

I'm convinced a lot of these issues relate back to the idea that "you left us, therefore the onus is on you if you want to see us". As I mentioned earlier, I see with one close relative now and I certainly used to see it with my in-laws.

Re: First trip back in 2 years - how it really was.....
 

Living over here certainly makes you realize who your real allies are.
As someone has already said, you can't change how people react only how you deal with them.
Over the years I've learned to go and visit who I want to see and if people want to see us badly enough they'll arrange that.
Sorry to hear about the poopy end to your Christmas visit though!