Well, it was a year ago today that I stepped off the plane from Australia for a holiday in UK - and I havent gone back!!!!!

I had long wanted to leave Australia as pretty much everyone knows - trapped, trapped, trapped by an Aussie DH who didnt want to live in UK, not ever, no way, no how!!! He knew how miserable I was but thought he would be miserable if he had to live here. We survived on a compromise diet - he didnt get to live out in the bush on 40 acres being self sufficient and I got to come home every year for a sanity hit.

Well, we all landed 1 Sept for a holiday and to see our eldest son get married. My other son, his family and I were planning 8 weeks but the DH couldnt bear to be here that long and went home after 5 weeks.

However, then the wheels fell off the parental wagon and within 4 days of our arrival mum was in hospital after a stroke (interesting case of Wernicke's aphasia in the process!). At that stage the DH began talking about the possibility of living in UK as it was glaringly obvious that, at 88, dad was having trouble dealing with my 88 year old mum who was tottering, falling and succumbing increasingly to dementia. The DH then went back after his allotted weeks and within a few days my dad had a heart attack, stent and few days in Papworth but that meant he couldnt drive for a month so I was prepared to delay my departure until he got his licence back. Out of hospital for just over a week when he had a stroke (which takes longer to get your licence back) so at that point, I decided to stay, quit my job, cancelled my ticket (Qantas have been great throughout the process) and bawled my eyes out on Skype so the DH did the first aid course he had signed up for and got on a plane to come and be with me to help.

I wont say that this year has been easy - it hasnt. My mother is hugely resentful that we have invaded her house, taken over her life etc and seems not to "get it" that if we werent here, she would be in a nursing home ("I'm not going into a nursing home!!!!!"). Hopefully she is gradually accepting the changes and she is enjoying that she gets out shopping/coffee/lunch more but we all tread on eggshells not to impede each others' independence.

We live in Cambridge which is a fabulous part of the country, if not the most picturesque, and I have embarked upon a fitness campaign which has seen me lose over 3 stone since Feb and I now do 5 - 10 mile walks most days when I can (and medical appointments for parents and elderly aunt and uncle dont intervene!). I dont know if I have lost weight because, at last, I am happy or am happy because, at last, I have lost weight!!!

I know this isnt going to be forever - we still have our Aus house which has been taken over by son and his family (we might never get it back!) and DH is an Aussie with a 95 year old mum. We have 2 granddaughters in Aus and I expect we will have some grandkids in UK at some stage and I do miss them a little bit - Skype doesnt cut it. However there isnt much I miss from Australia after all those years - power showers and fly wire would probably be about the limit I think. Oh yes, I am regretting not having our memory foam mattress which we bought just a couple of weeks before we left LOL.

My DH has been amazing - I couldnt have done it without him and he really seems to be enjoying himself here! He has my dad's big garden to keep him out of mischief and he rides our son's bike everywhere (son doesnt need it!) and has become firmly entrenched at the local gym. We have become even closer if that is possible and we get away for a few days most months. He is really happy that he has his wife back (he notices the difference LOL!) and is thrilled that I have managed to regain some fitness. He now does the annual trip back to Aus and is coping with that OK.

So, this is the place I belong and the difference it has made to my mental health has been amazing - I didnt realize how depressed I really was until I wasnt depressed any more (although coping with dementia and geriatric issues is inherently depressing I reckon!).

Just want to wish all returnees the same sort of satisfaction that I have found. You cannot beat belonging!!!!

Quoll, I'm pleased that even though you went back in difficult circumstances, it appears that everything seems to be working out for you.

And losing 3 stone! well done, being depressed is when I eat as well, so thats why since moving to the US I've put on 1.5! Gosh at this rate I'll put on another 3 in the next two years!!!!

Quoll,

Thank you so much for your update, I appreciate it so much when people take the time to do these updates they are so helpful.

Wow, you and your family have really had a lot to deal with in such a short period of time. I hope your parents are doing better health wise and that tensions with your Mum over the house will ease with time.

Many congrats on the weight loss that is so wonderful. I'm sure its a bit of both, you were able to succeed because you were happier and having lost weight is bringing you happiness.

Good luck with everything and please keep updating!

Great update Quoll, I had wondered how your Dh would cope with the sudden move seeing he didn't want to move at all before all of this hit the fan! It sounds like the move has done him good too.
Pity you can't box up the other family members and move them over too, 95 year old included
I hope it continues to go well.

What a lovely update Quoll. It's most unfortunate your parents have been poorly of course but it sounds as if that aside, the past year has gone well for you. Thanks for sharing and all the best

You rock lady!

I love Cambridge and it helps that my son now lives there so our visits back are usually spent there and I always feel relaxed just walking along the river and into town.

Glad you are where you belong

Great update and also sorry that it was in those circumstances you get to stay in Cambridge but so pleased that your OH decided to pack it all in in Oz and join you! Sorry about your parents health issues but so nice for them to have you there to help. Good for you losing your weight, I can relate to comfort eating because that is what I am doing here and am just getting bigger by the minute. Hope everything goes well for you all.. and I look forward to more updates in the future. I have 3 more years to wait but it seems that my OH is starting to think about returning as well

What an update. You rock as far as I am concerned.

Wow, thanks for sharing - what a year you have had! So sorry to hear about your parents but how lucky was it that you were there for them right when they needed you?!

Good on your hubby too for supporting you and nice to know he is settling in well too. I have just had an Aussie friend return from the UK and she can't stop talking about how amazing it was. She is Aboriginal and she said people wanted to know all about her, they were so friendly and kind to her. She said she didn't feel the prejudice she feels here in Australia which is crazy really when you think about it!!!!!! Interesting!

As for the weight gain well I hear you, I've never been so fat in my life, all that comfort eating cos I'm so fed up/depressed followed by getting bigger which then makes me feel even worse and sends me running back to the biscuit tin! Congrats on losing three stone, you must be over the moon!

Well hope everything works out for you and thanks again for sharing, its so nice to read these updates they are my lifeline atm! )

Lovely to hear you and your DH (and your parents) are all well and good, I love nipping down to see my Dad (he is 84 this year) and I love him to bits and also have a cup of tea and a chat my DB an SIL....its just nice to have "roots" again......like you there really is nothing I actually really miss about Australia that makes me feel homesick etc. Its not been all plain sailing since we have been home but thats life on a whole and certainly nothing to make us regret coming back here. Good luck, Take care

Thanks for sharing Quoll, overall it seems as though things have gone well for you apart from the obvious health issues of course.
Like you there is little we are missing about Australia, for my wife it is more opportunity to get washing dry, for me it is Dim Sims and for our boys it is a good friend they left behind.
I hope it all continues to go well for you.

Lovely post.

Truly inspiring in many ways.

Wonderful and truly inspiring, I can so relate to the feeling of not realising that you're depressed unitil you aren't! (and Im a therapist!!) Since I made the decsion I have felt happier than I have in years.... Yet nothing has actually changed...I just have hope I suppose..

All the very best to you

Nice one Quoll !

Really enjoyed your update - good luck to you in the future