Breefinns

After so much trial and error over the past 2 years, we're finally all moved in! I arrived at Manchester Airport and all went swimmingly, although I wish the stamped vignette was still a requirement. My OCD was highly irked with the absent "stamp of completion". This forum helped me so much with the planning, organising, and applying. I especially want to thank BritInParis SanDiegogirl spouse of scouse nikaeDS . You were very informative, thorough and direct in all responses and I truly appreciated your efficiency, time and help. My big, bounding Golden Retriever did fine on the flight from New York and all paperwork was approved. Our biggest hurdle at the moment is, after being here for about 2 months, my Brit husband is not as happy as he thought he'd be. He's already missing America – although I think it's a slight case of "the grass is always greener". As many of you have mentioned, things don't always go as expected and hoped, but I'm hoping this is just a phase and that it'll soon pass.

Anyway, my main point of this post is to say THANK YOU!
A million thank you's.

Jerseygirl

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to update us.

Homesickness is to be expected. The short, grey English winter days will probably not help. We are still homesick after 25 years. It’s not ideal but you learn to live with it.

I am hoping you may hear from others on here, who have moved back home with non Brit spouses. They may be able to offer tips/advice.

Please don’t be a stranger to BE.

Breefinns

Wow, 25 years – that's a long time! And you're right, homesickness truly is expected, yet the show must go on. It's just strange to me because I thought he was coming "home". This is what he's wanted for so many years! Hoping for the best anyway.

I don't think I'll ever be a stranger to BE. Both out of habit and interest, I still hop on while I eat my breakfast haha. I like keeping up on the changes and bearing in mind what I'll need to do for my future visa filings. Everyone on here is so helpful.

Thanks for the reply, and for reminding me that my fella's not the only one who feels a bit out of sorts.

Jerseygirl

It’s called reverse culture shock. My husband thinks we could return to the UK and pick up where we left off 25 years ago. I try to explain that the UK has moved on, friends and family have moved on and so have we. Several people on here have found the same and have even ‘ping ponged’ back and forth because they cannot settle.

It may be a good idea for your husband to join BE. It may help him to exchange views with others who are/have been in the same boat. I know Spouse of Scouse found herself in a similar situation to yourself. No doubt she will be along before too long.

spouse of scouse

Hi! Really nice to hear from you and I'm so glad that your goldie was ok, good dog pat pat

As JG said, and I think I mentioned it in a previous post to you as well, my Brit husband had the wobbles as well. He didn't feel like that initially though, we were there over two years before he really knew that the UK wasn't for him any more, or to be fair, that Australia suited him better than the UK. Easy for me to say, but two months isn't a long time for your husband to feel settled back in. Sometimes the expectation doesn't match the reality, and that takes quite a bit of adjusting to. Hopefully thinking about the things he misses in America will eventually be replaced by a new appreciation for the UK.

Thanks for letting us know how it's all going, will keep an eye out for future updates

Dallwright

My wife and I returned 2 years ago after being away 30 years. Yes things have changed, some negative some positive. I think it helped us that we choose to locate in a completely new area of the UK. We can still visit and converse with family and of course share in their history but our frame of reference to what we did and where we lived has now changed. We were living in a great place in the US and were in a good situation but I think life had become too easy. I couldn't see staying in the same home in the same neighborhood for the rest of my life. In many ways coming back to the UK has been a challenge but I feel much more alive here than when we lived in the US. Once settled I think it is important to dive in and carve out a new path. Find a mission. My wife and I are doing volunteer work, taking classes and enjoying the beautiful access the UK has to Europe. When we lived here before we were working so hard to pay the mortgage (17% adj rate in the 80s) that we never had time to explore. Though she can be a challenge in herself we have a dog that we show and make a point of choosing distant show locations. Recently we took the ferry over the Northern Ireland and participated in a show just south of Belfast. What a fun experience that was. Yes I still wonder whether we made the right move but we are here now and I plan to make the most of it.