Re: Done it....But
 

Ah Sandra, do you think that perhaps he is playing for time? Maybe he is really unsure as to whether he wants to go home or not. Have you asked him? Does he have a job here that he likes?

Re: Done it....But
 

Hi St GG

Yes he really enjoys his job here, they have offered him promotion and the opportunity to buy shares in the company, (the deadline for accepting was 9th May), So last week he went to his director and put his cards on the table saying we might be going back to the UK but no firm decision has been made, so they have now given him until 29th June to either accept or decline.

Although he knows how I feel, and he has been saying for ages that he wants to go home, I think he feels really insulted that his old company made such a crap offer, and with his ego hurt, he feels sod it lets just stay here,
he said to me last night we have nothing to rush home for, and maybe we should stay for another year and accept the offer here.

I don't know what to do. I can understand how he feels about his career, everytime he gets to a top position (earning/director level) he packs it in an moves.

I think he does want to go home, but he won't go for nothing.

Sx

Re: Done it....But
 

I think something will come up eventually. Don't panic too much just yet. It has only been one offer, so they could be working on something new for him. I do understand his predicament and it looks like he is right about not going back for peanuts. But saying that we are going back with sod all literally.

Get saving and go back to UK for a holiday (over Xmas maybe)...and if you do have to stay here for another year then it won't seem as long.

Re: Done it....But
 

This all sounds too familiar. My OH is a true workaholic and really enjoys what he does here. I am pleased for him, but sometimes I wish he didn't like his work so much, then the decision to go home for him wouldn't be so difficult. We've been here 11 years and I can honestly say that I have never felt truly settled, but circumstances changed and we stayed much longer than either of us would have imagined in the early years. My advice would be push him hard to go home if that is what you really want. The longer you stay, the harder it becomes to uproot and start over. I cannot stress enough that if I knew then what I know now, there is no way on this earth I would have encouraged my OH to accept this job and pack in working for himself in 2003. They gave him an offer he couldn't refuse and he has never looked back. It's okay for him, he flies all over and has experienced life, places and people which make his work so interesting for him. Me, I'm lonely, bored and very unhappy. Please don't end up like me.

Re: Done it....But
 

Hi Sandra

I haven't chatted with you before but my heart goes out to you. To have stuck it out thinking you were guaranteed a way back & then be told you might be here even longer is a real bummer:thumbdown:

Obviously I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but if hub has been offered same as he was on in 2004 maybe that's not so bad-think of what the UK economy is currently doing and the future predictions. In a few years the salaries could even go down? On the other hand if he accepts they may give him a rise next year!

I know if my old job offered me what I earned in 2004 I'd be in a plane in an instant just to get back!-but then female pride is different from male pride:p (actually,dont think I have any left!)

I really hope everything turns out well for you in the end.

Jools

Re: Done it....But
 

GG-11 Years!!!!!!!!!! This is scary-not to be settled after all this time:( Do you manage to hide it well on a day to day basis?

Re: Done it....But
 

Hide it from who, my OH, son, or friends?

Re: Done it....But
 

R

I have that sinking feeling, I feel so sick at the thought of another year,
then it will be another, I can see it now,
I just said to him why another year what difference is it going to make to us if we stay, other than me being unhappy, I am prepared to stay until he finds what he wants, but as long as he does not give up looking now, to look again in 12 months as I know that won't happen.

S x

Re: Done it....But
 

I mean just generally-do you come vent on here and then put on a brave face to the "real" world? I keep trying to get my sad bits over with whilst alone so when OH home I can act positive-doesnt really work tho and cant imagine doing it for years on end:unsure:

Re: Done it....But
 

Why is he going to wait 12 months though. Like you say, he can keep on looking while you are here, then move back as soon as something comes up. And that will all depend on how quick he gets a job offer i suppose. But you know you will be going back eventually. Keep doing what you are doing, saving and applying. If your house sells in UK then couldn't you go back then?

I think A is worried you will have no money if you go back with no jobs. I can see his point, we will be going back with no jobs though as P is self-employed. It will take us about a year to get the business up and running, but we are prepared for that. Don't really know what you should do for the best.

Re: Done it....But
 

Thanks STGG

He knows how I feel and I just hope that means more to him than his job:eek:

Yes he loves his work, he worked long hours in the UK and it is no different here, just I am on my own more.

We are going to talk all weekend and I have mentioned to him to maybe give his old company a call, and speak to one of the Directors(a very good friend of his)who also received a copy of the offer and OH's decline just to find out what has been said if anything?


Fingers crossed.

I thought this was going to be all sorted and I was going to be home in July, how wrong was I.

Sx

Re: Done it....But
 

I don't keep it all in, i say what i want, when i want. :) get it all out, makes you feel good!

Re: Done it....But
 

Thanks
His old company who he worked for for 18 yrs have been trying to get him back for 2 yrs, to open an office in Suffolk as a Assoc Director and then taking on a directors role, to procure work and run it alone, what they have offered him is a lot less than other associates in the company working in a established office. they also have offered him no incentives anything.

His said he would not go back and work long hours (i mean long) working his asse off for the same money as he was earning in 2004 (in a established office)

he could go and work for any company and earn the same as what they are offering without the stress.

Why don't he I hear everyone ask, he is Mr career:blink:

Re: Done it....But
 

Well it's a very long story, but I used to hide how I feel because it was better for me that way, then it came to a point where I couldn't hide it anymore. It's not good to keep it all in, believe me I know. I would implore anyone who knows for definite that where they are isn't right for them, not to linger.

Oh well, I can empathise with you, my OH works 6/7 days a week, sometimes 12/15 hours a day, when he's not away that is , but I'm used to that now. I just read other peoples post and want to scream out, "Don't wait any longer, don't end up like me." I hope you can talk some sense into him 'cos as I said, the longer you stay, the harder it becomes to leave.:(

Re: Done it....But
 

Fingers crossed that we have some progress at the weekend, god knows why another year I think it has to do with the Shares and the Bonus he would get July next year.


if we can't sort it, then I shall take myself to Hillarys and feed myself to the sharks:eek:

S x