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-   -   Domestic Violence (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/domestic-violence-639139/)

Lion in Winter Nov 15th 2009 1:36 pm

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by Lothianlad (Post 8097771)
The bloke deserves an all expenses paid holiday in some exotic location as far away as possible from that ******* hellcat and hopefully when he gets back home she'll have buggered off with the milkman who wouldn't know what's in store for him! :D This female needs seeing to by psychos and medics or some such, seriously.....she is plainly the one at fault but she will, of course, lay all the blame for her actions and moods and rants and rages on him..and, as ever, the divorce and/or family law courts will undoubtedly place far, far more credence on what she says rather than anything he says in his defence....but he doesn't sound the type of bloke who would say anything anyway...he may well be a genuinely decent bloke but he also sounds like a real wet lettuce at the same time....sadly. Just imagine the exact same situation but with the genders reversed! :eek::eek:

Almost every day in Brown's Battered Britain that harridan Batty Hatty Harm-a-Man is bleating on and on and on about the need for full and unconditional sexual equality - here in Brown's Battered Britain anyway. Yeah, right......


What on earth are you on about? Your extrapolation is entirely made up - by you. Journalist you say, eh?

Lion in Winter Nov 15th 2009 1:39 pm

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 8098310)
That was what I meant. :thumbup:

What you describe isn't nagging, as far as I'm concerned. It's abuse. But of course it has nothing to do with the sex of the person delivering it, which is the mistake that some of our thread participants here are making.

Jules Europe Nov 16th 2009 11:03 am

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by king kong (Post 8095232)
What i find intereting is that some women feel it is a genetic right to nag men, why do they do that ?,why do they feel its alright? ,why does it seem to me that most see it as acceptable form of control to get what THEY want ?

Its because most women are far craftier and subtle than most men could ever be. I think outsmarting your partner is a very viable way to run a relationship and gain control, especially if it contributes to the greater good.

Victor Meldrew Nov 17th 2009 3:46 pm

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter (Post 8099734)
What you describe isn't nagging, as far as I'm concerned. It's abuse. But of course it has nothing to do with the sex of the person delivering it, which is the mistake that some of our thread participants here are making.

A lot is spoken about how abused women find it hard to get out of an abusive relationship and how they can become 'stuck' in their situation.

I think the same can be said of men who are in abusive relationships, which range from verbal abuse and belittling, to more subtle abuse (verging on brainwashing) and even physical abuse.

Sometimes it is only once you are out of such a relationship, you can look back with clear vision and think 'how the hell didnt I see it' or 'why the hell didnt I get out sooner'.

It's not easy for either gender in such situations.

Englishmum Nov 17th 2009 8:50 pm

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by Victor Meldrew (Post 8105028)
A lot is spoken about how abused women find it hard to get out of an abusive relationship and how they can become 'stuck' in their situation.

I think the same can be said of men who are in abusive relationships, which range from verbal abuse and belittling, to more subtle abuse (verging on brainwashing) and even physical abuse.

Sometimes it is only once you are out of such a relationship, you can look back with clear vision and think 'how the hell didnt I see it' or 'why the hell didnt I get out sooner'.

It's not easy for either gender in such situations.

Agreed. But many abused women haven't been able to pursue career opportunities as they've taken time out of the workforce to raise children. Men have generally been higher earners than women and it's easier for them to leave an abusive relationship (in economic terms).

Victor Meldrew Nov 18th 2009 1:58 pm

Re: Domestic Violence
 

Originally Posted by Englishmum (Post 8105666)
Agreed. But many abused women haven't been able to pursue career opportunities as they've taken time out of the workforce to raise children. Men have generally been higher earners than women and it's easier for them to leave an abusive relationship (in economic terms).

I don't want to get into a 'who has it worse' argument regards the above. I think it is equally bad in both situations.

Regards following a career, I would argue that there is pressure on a man to work and bring in a salary (in a marriage where the woman doesnt work, or wants to stay at home). Just as restrictive I think.

Generally in a divorce the finances are split equally, so although the man may have been the earner, both are (rightfully in most cases) 'eligible' to a fair share of the proceeds.

To get back to the OP's query, walking out of an abusive relationship is generally equally difficult for men and women and examples can be quoted from both angles to support this.


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