Burn1911

This made me smile so much I had to share:

What Pets Write in their diaries.......
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

ChocolateBabz

OMG - actual tears streaming down my face

AmerLisa

traceym

Englishtart

Yeah, cats definitely tolerate rather than need us, I sometimes think

nettlebed

A dog thinks: Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me.....They must be gods!

What is a dog?

• Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
• They can hear a package of food opening half a block away but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
• They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
• They growl when they are not happy.
• When you want to play, they want to play.
• When you want to be alone, they want to play.
• They are great at begging.
• They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
• They never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
• They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats.

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me...*I* must be a god.

What is a cat?

• Cats do what they want.
• They rarely listen to you.
• They're totally unpredictable.
• They whine when they are not happy.
• When you want to play, they want to be alone.
• When you want to be alone, they want to play.
• They expect you to cater to their every whim.
• They're moody.
• They leave hair everywhere.
• They drive you nuts and cost you money.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats

AmerLisa

Ha Ha Ha

Burn1911

Brilliant

Lothianlad

It may just be a wee bit of a myth that all Brits are animal lovers, especially when it comes to cats. It seems that some people love dogs, but have an aversion to cats. This woman in Coventry, England, obviously doesn't care too much about cats or their welfare, although since this whole incident has been splashed right across the UK media today, and she has been traced, named and shamed, so to speak, her mother maintains that she loves cats! If that be true then God only knows what she would have done to this poor wee cat if she had hated them.....

Thankfully the cat survived after being rescued by its owner fifteen hours after the woman's actions, and thankfully the Coventry City Council hadn't arrived beforehand and done what they normally do to wheelies left outside people's homes. Shredded moggy isn't funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGdrn2YTPpU


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti....html#comments

Englishtart

As I am a cat lover, I think I will give your links a miss!

traceym

She's obviously crazy!

kimilseung

Its safe to look, nothing nasty in and of its self, its what might have happened thats the big problem (had the bin men come before someone else opened the bin). I had to laugh as I watched at the audaciousness of the woman. To stop stroke the cat and then pop it in the bin. Horrified as a new slave to two kittens

Englishtart

Thank you, but it sounds like the owner is a typical selfish non-caring Chav anyway.

AmerLisa

She doesn't look like a Chav.....looks like someone who just got off of work, middle aged woman. Wonder why she'd even go through the trouble....

chrisbeale

Our militancy in animal loving is strange though, there are people scouring the area for this woman to give her a beating. It's horrible I agree, absolutely, but a strange thing to put on the national news.