Mepy

" Like you ay we came out with our heads held high only dreaming of the adventure ahead of us. I too how now realised I am a different person than I thought I was and I do actually need family around me. Things like Christmas and the news of the baby are not as enjoyable."

Hey,
Just wanted to say 'keep your chins up'. Looking at your posts, I related to so much of what you said. Before coming to oz I didn't consider how much I would miss my family and friends, or realise how guilty I would feel about leaving my Mum. I'd lived in Melbourne for two years on and off and loved it so much, I could wait to come back. Moving to the sunshine coast with my husband though was a bigger culture shock than I could have imagined, and I've found it hard getting regular teaching work, and generally to settle in. Honestly sometimes I used to think I'd been sentenced and sent to 'the colony'! Unfortunatly my OH loves it here, he's an ozzie, so moving home is less viable. Things have picked up, I eventually found decent work, and there are many advantages to living here, financial mainly, but it's also a chance to change your life and outlook. Don't get me wrong I still hope to move back home, but at the moment its impossible as OH has good job here, and there's no mining industry in the south of england! Have your family visited at all, or would you consider going back for a few months? When I feel homesick I remind myself 'it's only 24 hours away'. Keep positive, try to think of the move as a interesting period in your life - it's not forever! Mepy

Jaycee1

Hi Vernons,
I remember you leaving last September.
It's really good that you have all this support on here, and that you are waiting for citizenship. I am saying this as I lived in Aus as a child from ages 2 - 13 and Mum and Dad never realised the importance of citizenship.
I am the living regret of this
Best of luck,
J x

hayleyt

Hi there,
I really feel for you, while reading your post all my emotion came flooding back to how I felt when I was so down and depressed just completely irrational and had to get home.

I,m actually in New zealand and yes I stayed, but I took drastic measures to going back home, arrived in Auckland aug 2003 by october all i was doing was crying and hibernating, not going out not meeting anyone I have four children, at the time they were 16,13,12 and 4 the container hadn't arrived yet so I had time to turn it around ,which I did.

My oh put his notice in here got his old job back home, I was on the phone to the children's old schools got all their places back the two older boys had to go back sooner because I needed to get the eldest back to sixth form and like wise the younger one.

They were going to live with their grandparents until we had arranged and sorted everything out. Booked both their flights back to Heathrow took them to the airport arranged for an auntie to look after them while on the flight. Lots of tears when they left for boarding "just felt really sick you know that horrible feeling when you know what your doing is wrong but you still go ahead and do it anyway".

Walked out of the airport looked at my oh and said "I don't want to go back". Got on the motorway and decided that we both really wanted to stay couldn't turn back on the motorway, it was too late any way, they had took off by this time. Arrived home contacted the airport explained what we had done or what I had done, had to go through sorting their visa out so that they could come back into the country because at the time we was on a work to residency visa.

The only problem getting them back was that it wouldn't be that same day, Singapore Airlines were fantastic, they changed their second leg of their flight around and brought them back to Auckland the day after. Singapor Airlines arranged for their over night stay in Singapore.

They had someone watching them at all times because they were minors, when the boys landed in Singapore they were told that they had a phone call I Couldn't get on the phone and be the bearer of bad news so my oh gave them the happy news, they couldn't believe what we had done, when they came out at arrivals in Auckland they were grinning from ear to ear.

In the November had to go back to the uk for a funeral. That just confirmed for us that our time in the UK was up and our new life in NZ had begun,in saying that we are now thinking of looking to move to Brisbane.

The only advice I can give to anyone is it's a bloody huge thing that you have just done so it takes a while for adjustment, things do settle down you end up getting less times when you are unhappy and more times when things feel quite normal around you, try going back to the UK for a holiday with the new baby and see the family you will know if you have done the right thing then. NZ and oz are a really great playground for the children and of course yourself. Hope this helps feel free to pm any time

Elvira

Could you be a darling and edit your post - add some paragraphs?

Paragraphs are really nice!!

hayleyt

Hi there,
is this enough paragraphs?

Elvira

Beautiful!!!!

And look at all those lovely blue boxes you've got all of a sudden!!

hayleyt

Hi again,

I'm sorry new to all this, but what are blue boxes?

Elvira

Karma, Sweetheart!

There's a little box marked Karma on the left - you'll see the blue boxes. When I give Karma, the lucky recipients gets lots of blue boxes or points. (You had none, now you've got several ) In time - provided you behave yourself, of course - you will acquire the same power to dispense good vibes.

There is an explanation of the Karma system somewhere.... I think

hayleyt

Hi,
me again, as soon as I had no sooner sent my post I found the little blue boxes.

Thanks

tillergirl

Hi

I have been living in New Zealand for the last 6 months. I'm expecting our third child any day now.

We haven't had a good start. Infact we have moved 4 times in our short time here. We are in New Plymouth on the north island now. I know already that it's not for me. My youngest also wants to go home to the UK.
My husband however wants to stay but, he will willingly go back if it's what i need to make me, 'me' again.
Our eldest who is 17 wants to stay. He will stay with my husbands mother, who came out with us! Another story! He has got a job as a tiler and is loving it. How did you deal with your eldest staying. I feel so torn. I just want us all to return and start again. Selfish i know.

Any advice would be great. I never dreamt that getting what i wished for would end so bad. I hate the fact that 'i' have failed.
Cheers
Gail

Elvira

You have *not* failed. Things just didn't work out as expected.

Happens to the best of us!

Geordie George

I agree with Elvira, you've certainly not failed. You've had the courage to try something new - I'd say that's a storming success.

After six months, and with so many moves under your belt, you've not really had time to feel settled yet. Which you must be craving more than ever, if you're about to welcome bub 3. Perhaps you need to spend a little more time settling into a routine? What makes you feel that NZ isn't for you?

And welcome to BE.

tillergirl

Hi

Since being here i have realised that i do need my family around me. I know that news of our third baby has been a real let down to me. When i was pregnant before my aunties and cousions etc, were so excitied. This one has not had any of that.
I don't want this child not knowing where and whom it's from. So to speak. Maybe if it wasn't pregnant i wouldn't feel such compulsion to return. However i also know it is where my heart is. I feel this journey has not been a positive time, for me. Life is about friends and family and not sunshine and bigger houses or land.

You could say think of your kids. I am. We already lived in a nice area in the UK. We come from a small shropshire village called Clee Hill. Just off the Welsh border. Ok we didn't wake up to pools of blue sunshine, however, we had plenty of liquid sunshine!! (rain) The kids were part of the local community. Plenty of sports and friends. Good school. Good education, i've only now come to appreciate. I feel very unsure of the level of education here.

I don't feel that my youngest son has gained anything from coming to NZ. He seems to have lost out. Our eldest on the other hand is loving it and plans to stay on even if we return. My better half is happy to do do what ever i need to do, so he can have his wife back. (Better half he most definately is)

I know NZ is not for me because i am not a strong enough person to take on a new culture. Although i came here feeling i had researched everything, i hadn't. I didn't take a look at myself! What i mean is, i didn't realise what i need as a person. I now feel that i would rather have less, but be around the people and friends that i love. They help to make me, me. Not that my kids and husband don't. As an individual i am just one of those type who need the all the hassles that come with a big family. I need stability which some may describe as a 'rut'.

Emmigrating is a personal thing. One that hasn't worked for me.
Thank you for being interested.
Have you ever wanted to return?

I didn't know what i had untill it was gone. New Zealand has lived up to most of my beliefs. It's not all i dreamed it to be, but are things ever as good as your dream.

I plan to return to my little village as soon as the baby has been born and i can sort out a passport, for he or she.
Once there my youngest son and i will take as much time as we have to to see if it's deffinatly what we want. If it is, the better half will follow on.

Vernons

Hello everyone

I haven't been on BE for a few weeks for one reason and another and I wanted to thank those of you who have continued to offer me some advice and support. It really helps knowing I am not the only one out there feeling so miserable.

I must admit I am still incredibly confused over what to do and my husband and I can't reach a decision. I am in a forunate position here in that I wont have to work when the baby arrives. This is really important to me and I am grateful that this is an option. However the negative of this is that we don't have any family or close friends to share our first baby with. Yes we have web cams and skype etc but it really isn't the same. I want to show our baby off when he/she arrives, I want him/her to meet his cousins and get cuddles from his/her grandparents. I never thought it would bother me as much as it does.Luckily my mum is coming over for a month after the birth which will be wonderful. My husbands family wont be visiting any time soon, if ever.

I just wish I could have seen how I would change and I would not have pushed for us to move here. Like someone else said it is terrible knowing that I got my way by coming here and now my OH who wasn't so sure loves it and I don't, yet I was full of it when we left the UK so determined that it was the right thing for us to do and ignoring all the great things we already had in our life.

It is such a massive mistake and if we go back we will have lost so much money and we will not be able to cope on one wage so we will need to put the baby in a nursery. I just don't know what to do or what will happen but I will let you all know and I hope others in the same situation as me figure it out too. Good luck.

Exile

This is a very profound statement.

Should be compulsory reading on the Australia forum, although it's not really something you can know until it's too late. At least we can all continue on life's journey a little wiser, and I guess that's what it's all about really.

Good luck tillergirl, and everyone else.