NoReward

Hello all - do any of you have any tips on coping with missing your other half while waiting for a visa - am looking at probably 8 months without her and am finding it very hard :-(

Noorah101

Yes. My fiance and I spent 14 months apart while waiting for his K-1 visa to process. He could not get a visitor's visa to come see me in the meantime, and I could not afford to travel to see him during that time either. He did not have a computer nor know how to use a computer, so we did not chat, email, webcam, or use a computer in any way during the separation. We talked on the phone almost daily, mostly short 5 or 10 minute calls just to keep in touch...longer conversations to discuss immigration topics or any other important matters. We survived the separation, he got his K-1 visa in 2004 and he's now a USC.

During the separation period, our lives went on as normal. I worked, he worked. I saw my friends and did my fun activities in the USA, he saw his friends and did his fun activities in Turkey. I prepared the house for his arrival. He prepared to turn over his business in Turkey to his brothers. Really, we didn't find the separation difficult since we had never lived together yet anyway....it wasn't any different than what we had been doing before starting immigration, so we didn't really feel any differently during the wait.

Just live your lives daily the way you did before you started immigration, and believe me, the 8 months will pass more quickly than you think.

Rene

NoReward

Thank you Rene

YouWantFriesWithThat

Hi,

If it's a recent separation then in my experience the first few weeks are the toughest. After that, 'normality' starts to establish itself, one where your reality is that you are alone at the moment.

Keep your eyes fixed firmly on the prize and ground yourself with the knowledge that you / we are lucky that nowadays we have the ability to be with loved ones in other countries. For many in the world, it's just a dream.

jeffreyhy

NR,

Find a source of calling cards, or be prepared for some massive phone bills.

Regards, JEff

YouWantFriesWithThat

Good call (pun not intended)

I use Vonage. £9 a month inc tax for completely unlimited calls to the USA, Canada and most of the rest of the world. No hidden extras (trust me, I read the small print ). Connects via your broadband link but no need to hook to your pc or laptop, just use your regular house phone.


You can also take your UK number with you when you to the USA so that your mates in the UK can phone you in the USA but only be charged for calling a UK number

Call quality as good as a landline (I'd like a discount for this if you're reading, Vonage )

Ozzidoc

Skype

YouWantFriesWithThat

Skype is good. I used to use it.

The advantage Vonage has over Skype is that you don't need to be online or even have a computer in the house to use it.

Hey, also did you know that Australia can be included in that call plan?

penguinbar

It can be difficult. I get 9 hours of talk time to the UK for a $5.00. My husband had some type of calling plan in Scotland before he moved here whwre if he called me after 6pm his time he would obly be charged for a local call. At least you are doing things the right way. It will be worth the wait. I agree that the first few weeks are the hardest.

Rete

No one ever said life was easy.

What did you do before you met her? Continue doing it. Life is for living so get on with it and leave the pining nonsense to juveniles who only know instant gratification.

You're obviously planning on coming to the US to live so get started on doing what needs to be done to wrap up your life wherever you currently live.

Keep matters well in hand.

Folinskyinla

Hi:

I hope you don't take this wrong --

This is tangential, during World War II, my parents were exceedingly lucky at the time of their marriage in August 1943. My father was in the Coast Guard stationed at the light house at Tibbets Point, Cape Vincent, New York. My father later received orders to sea and they were separated for 14 months. To this day, I still have mixed thoughts about the Hiroshima bombing because my father was crew of a large troop ship and I'm not at all sure that the 40mm Bofors he manned would have stopped the Kamikaze.

My point is that separation is hard -- but you don't to worry about bad things happening.

Keep up the contact -- call, send those e-mails. Hell, send snail mail every day.

"This too shall pass."

Good luck.

Bill_S

My wife's parents had a similar story - they were married immediately before her father shipped out to fight in Italy. They managed.

Kate2112

Just wanted to add - go to all the places you ever wanted to visit in the UK/Europe, as once you get to the US and start working you probably wont have as much vacation as you may have now.

http://www.salary.com/personal/layou...31&part=par088

Folinskyinla

Hi:

I didn't expressly say it -- my parents were lucky in that they got to spend their first year together in an isolated big house at Tibbets Point. In the pic in the link, they lived in the red roofed house in the middle. Dad visited there about four years ago -- it was bittersweet given mom's passing in 1992. However, the staff there was fascinated in the information that he gave.

Dad was a "plankowner" of the USS Admiral Mayo (AP-125)

MsElui

When i was apart for a year I wrote a lot of letters (no computer at home then). You can be quite romantic in a letter!