DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Apr 14th 2019, 6:17 pm
#1
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DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Having made the decision to leave the USA I now have the dilemma of how I will cope for another three years and how we will manage to do it. I am so unhappy here, I have never settled and hate it. I was almost 62 when I married my American husband (now 62), who had very little when I met him but I loved him and still love him dearly. I agreed to come to the USA because he had family and I didn't. I so wanted to be part of his family, we even moved back to Michigan but it's even worse being so near and yet not being any closer. I am even lonelier than ever. I have had job after job, I have tried volenteering, I have joined walking groups, tried exercise classes but I just don't seem to fit in. I am scared of getting ill here and ending up with huge bills as I have often heard. My husband has very little in his 401k due to various reasons, we have no home to sell, we will probably only have about $40,000 and our Social Security when we are able to leave. I'm soooooo worried that this won't get us home when he retires. I am beside myself and feel I will not get through the next three years. Can anyone advise.
Apr 14th 2019, 9:38 pm
#2
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear that you are so unhappy.. Are you both British citizens? I ask this question because it could make the process of.moving back to the UK much simpler for you. If your husband has US citizenship only then he will require a spouse visa to be able to move here.
Apr 15th 2019, 1:01 am
#3
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
No evenstar120 my husband is not British, and yes we know he will have to do the Spousal Visa that's why we can't move until 2022 when he retires. We would not survive on what little savings we have, I would not get a job now at my age earning enough to support us both, I'm sure of that.
Apr 15th 2019, 1:35 am
#4
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Sounds like your husband will have social security when it's time to retire. Can you work for the next three years to build up your savings and to add to what ever UK social security you already have put into? I think you do get credit for any social security you earn in the States. Maybe between the two it will be enough in 2022. And I think you can contribute to your UK ss while here in the states.
Apr 15th 2019, 9:38 am
#5
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Sounds like your husband will have social security when it's time to retire. Can you work for the next three years to build up your savings and to add to what ever UK social security you already have put into? I think you do get credit for any social security you earn in the States. Maybe between the two it will be enough in 2022. And I think you can contribute to your UK ss while here in the states.
Definitely check your UK SS (OAP) record and if you have less than 35 years see if you can either transfer US SS credits or pay some back years. So close to retirement age it is a good investment as each year's back payment gets you 1/35th of your OAP.
Apr 15th 2019, 11:31 am
#6
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Thank you UK WINDS 5353. I will actually get my full uk state pension as they changed it to 33 years just before I moved here in 2009. Also, I will get SS here, enhanced via hubbies SS. So yes, providing the exchange doesn't go berserk, which is always something we have to be prepared for, we will have have enough to live better in the UK than here in the US due to public transport, no health care (except husbands small contribution) etc. We are of course saving as much as we can after our every day living ( which we thought would be less returning to Michigan but actually turned out to be more). So as you can see we have already done a bit of research. I guess what I was asking of you all was just some reassurance that we could do it. We will have family andfreinds support when we do get there.
Apr 15th 2019, 12:11 pm
#7
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Provided you can satisfy the financial conditions for getting a visa. Of course it will be OK. The worry about the NHS is that Tories are eying that up for dismantling and privatisation. The last gains of 1945 are threatened !
Apr 15th 2019, 7:29 pm
#8
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Scot47 thank you firon he reasurrance.
Apr 15th 2019, 8:11 pm
#9
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
…. The worry about the NHS is that Tories are eying that up for dismantling and privatisation. The last gains of 1945 are threatened !
Apr 15th 2019, 9:10 pm
#10
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Jacks50p just want to say my heart goes out to you. It's so hard when one really longs to go home and circumstances force you to wait. I don't know how to help you as far as the next three years go except to encourage you to keep planning for the move back....getting ducks in a row and a timeline in place for when you are ready....getting everything together, especially the paperwork for that spouse visa, does take time.
It sounds as if you've done your homework and know what the financial requirement is and that your combined pensions should meet it....what I don't remember about the requirements is this:
if neither savings nor pension amounts are quite enough by themselves to fulfil the requirement, can you combine them? I have a vague memory (the whole ghastly process is mostly erased from my brain) of a possibility mentioned where you can supplement savings by adding in some of your pension amount; or vice versa; so the required figured is met by a pension/savings combination. Is this right?
As far as everyday life, goes, It's such a shame none of the jobs or groups have worked for you. A tentative suggestion....how about maybe you choose one thing that you find interesting about where you live now--an item of local history, a place, a particular building or community or local geographical feature or something—and learn about it, study it, so you feel you are getting something memorable out of being there...?
It sounds as if you've done your homework and know what the financial requirement is and that your combined pensions should meet it....what I don't remember about the requirements is this:
if neither savings nor pension amounts are quite enough by themselves to fulfil the requirement, can you combine them? I have a vague memory (the whole ghastly process is mostly erased from my brain) of a possibility mentioned where you can supplement savings by adding in some of your pension amount; or vice versa; so the required figured is met by a pension/savings combination. Is this right?
As far as everyday life, goes, It's such a shame none of the jobs or groups have worked for you. A tentative suggestion....how about maybe you choose one thing that you find interesting about where you live now--an item of local history, a place, a particular building or community or local geographical feature or something—and learn about it, study it, so you feel you are getting something memorable out of being there...?
Apr 15th 2019, 11:11 pm
#11
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Thank you UK WINDS 5353. I will actually get my full uk state pension as they changed it to 33 years just before I moved here in 2009. Also, I will get SS here, enhanced via hubbies SS. So yes, providing the exchange doesn't go berserk, which is always something we have to be prepared for, we will have have enough to live better in the UK than here in the US due to public transport, no health care (except husbands small contribution) etc. We are of course saving as much as we can after our every day living ( which we thought would be less returning to Michigan but actually turned out to be more). So as you can see we have already done a bit of research. I guess what I was asking of you all was just some reassurance that we could do it. We will have family andfreinds support when we do get there.
Last edited by UkWinds5353; Apr 15th 2019 at 11:21 pm.
Apr 16th 2019, 12:39 am
#12
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
and make sure to feed money into your UK SS before leaving.
Apr 16th 2019, 2:47 am
#13
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
How is this useful advice when she says she has difficulty finding one job?
There is no "UK SS" - in Britain its a "state pension" but in any case she appears to already be fully funded for her state pension, or very close to it, so there isn't much if any basis for her to "feed more money into anything" in the UK ….. And the tax efficient way to do so is in the country where you are earning, which is in the US, so the correct advice is to feed more money into her 401K, if her job has one, or into an IRA if her job doesn't have a 401K.
There is no "UK SS" - in Britain its a "state pension" but in any case she appears to already be fully funded for her state pension, or very close to it, so there isn't much if any basis for her to "feed more money into anything" in the UK ….. And the tax efficient way to do so is in the country where you are earning, which is in the US, so the correct advice is to feed more money into her 401K, if her job has one, or into an IRA if her job doesn't have a 401K.
Apr 16th 2019, 4:11 am
#14
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Three years is nothing. The time will be up before you know it. Especially as you will have so much to do in terms of planning and preparation.
The temptation will be to think there’s no point in making any effort befriending people as you’re leaving anyway but in my experience, the ability to socialise is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
This forum is littered with stories of people who longed and longed to go back to friends and family in the UK but once there, discovered that those people had “moved on” and weren’t that interested in spending time with them.
So prepare for the possibility that you might need to make a whole new set of friends when you return and continue reaching out to people now, if only to keep your hand in as it were.
Do you talk to random strangers? I do. It drives my husband mad. He says I attract all the local weirdos but I say better to chat to weirdos than to be a miserable lonely old git.
The temptation will be to think there’s no point in making any effort befriending people as you’re leaving anyway but in my experience, the ability to socialise is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
This forum is littered with stories of people who longed and longed to go back to friends and family in the UK but once there, discovered that those people had “moved on” and weren’t that interested in spending time with them.
So prepare for the possibility that you might need to make a whole new set of friends when you return and continue reaching out to people now, if only to keep your hand in as it were.
Do you talk to random strangers? I do. It drives my husband mad. He says I attract all the local weirdos but I say better to chat to weirdos than to be a miserable lonely old git.
Apr 16th 2019, 4:39 am
#15
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Re: DESPERATE TO GO HOME
Sorry, forgot to add, have you gone on line and signed up for the UK government’s Gateway service? If not, it’s worth doing. You’ll need your passport and your National Insurance number. Once you’ve signed up, you’ll be able to see any gaps in your state pension contributions and arrange to pay voluntary contributions.
Pulaski is right, of course, that beyond that, there’s not much you can do in terms of “feeding money” into the UK. Short of making the most of the weak pound and transferring money to your UK bank account (assuming you still have one).
You’re not resident so - as you probably know - you can’t contribute to personal pensions, ISAs, etc.
Obviously, though, it makes sense to sock away as much money as you can now. Are you currently employed?
Would you mind sharing a few more details about your plans once you move back? What parts of the country are you considering? I assume you’re going to be renting?
Sorry if this sounds nosey but the sad fact is that if you’re on a limited income, large swathes of the UK are going to be off limits.
Pulaski is right, of course, that beyond that, there’s not much you can do in terms of “feeding money” into the UK. Short of making the most of the weak pound and transferring money to your UK bank account (assuming you still have one).
You’re not resident so - as you probably know - you can’t contribute to personal pensions, ISAs, etc.
Obviously, though, it makes sense to sock away as much money as you can now. Are you currently employed?
Would you mind sharing a few more details about your plans once you move back? What parts of the country are you considering? I assume you’re going to be renting?
Sorry if this sounds nosey but the sad fact is that if you’re on a limited income, large swathes of the UK are going to be off limits.