Decision has been made!
 

Im going home!

As you all know,I hate it here & have been unable to settle for a long time. Its caused immense strain on our marriage, to the point where we have argued continually

Anyway after some very long painful thinking & talking ive decided to leave. Si still adamant he iisnt coming with me as he wants to stay so its just me & megy

I feel terrible for taking her from him but i cant carry on being unhappy any longer as it was affecting her & Karl

Ive spoke to my family & they will be sorting out some airfare for me in the next few days

I plan to fly back around the 8th July as have some things still needing doing here. When i do return i will stay with mum for a bit then i intend to try & make my home in newcastle near my sister

Ive also been in touch with the benefits office & have been told i will get help so i feel quite relieved that i wont be completely skint!

Its a very sad situation for all concerned but its for the best in the long run!

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi Jude,

It can't have been an easy decision thats for sure. Its tough enough for us going back and we both (at least we think we do) want to go back so I can't imagine how hard its been for you.

It may be easier now that you've come to a final decision anyway.

I wish you all the luck with your move back and I hope that you and your daughter settle in ok.

Keep in touch on here and let us know how you get on.

Stu :)

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Thanks Stu, & dont worry, you dont get rid of me that easy!!!:D

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Glad to hear it!! ;)

I know that you'll be very wary of leaving without your husband etc but at least now you might feel some happiness as you know that you are going back to where you want to be and can be happy there! :D

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Well, at least you've made a decision now, I think that's the hardest part. Good luck with your move back to the UK and say hi to newcastle for me....I'm from Sunderland origionally.

Not that it's any consolation to you but I was in a similar position to you before I came here. I lived with my girlfrend in the UK for 14 years, when I came here she decided to stay in England, so we parted company then. That was a hard decision, and now I'm going back! can't see us getting back together again though, so that's not the reason I'm returning. I just can't see myself settling here and there's LOTS I miss about the UK. Still, life will never be the same again. I gave up EVERYTHING to come here.

Life is full of difficult decisions, we just have to play it as we see it and hope all is well at the end of the day, and what's the point in going through life feeling miserable every day? You got to do what makes you happy girl.

Best wishes to the both of you on your return.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Tough decision but well done. Hope all goes well for you.

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I wish you all the best for the future:thumbsup:

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Must be some relief to have finally made a decision. Good luck!

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Wow ......tough decision but I think it sounds like you are doing the right thing for you and your daughter.

FWIW I think any father who is prepared to watch his family leave for the other side of the world and not put up a fight to keep them with him doesn't deserve to have them in the first place. Do you think he'll change his mind when the reality hits?

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Well done you for actually being strong enough to make such a hard decision, it must've been terrible for you.

Maybe, once he realises you are very serious about this he may change his mind and join you. It may take a few months without you both for him to realise just how much he cares for you both. I hope so.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

I dont venture around this end of the forum very often, with this period being my longest stint on the MBttUK forum.

I've not seen anyone leave their partner to go back before, and to me it's one hell of a drastic move. Thats got to be one of the most heartfelt and gut wrenching decisions one could ever make, and must be a very brave decision.

My life experience has conditioned me, to become a person that abhors people splitting up, we all have different experiences. I wont go into full detail but it's the reason I'm posting on this thread.

The Smiths made a point which most people would make and its a very pertinent and instictive one. Which is why I will pose two questions further down the page.

I know I shouldn't be asking this, as it could probably hurt and confuse things.

How does your husband get along with your relations ?

Have you had any past major problems that have followed you here ?

Apologies for my interference, and I wish you all well.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Well done for making the toughest decision.

At least you will have family to go back to that care about you and your Mum will make a fuss of you and your daughter I hope.

I wish you all the best for the future and keep strong.

LibbyX

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Jude

I hope all goes well for you

its a shame this has all happened but I hope you will have a better time in the UK :thumbsup:

Re: Decision has been made!
 

[QUOTE=The Smiths;4859231. Do you think he'll change his mind when the reality hits?[/QUOTE]

No i dont think he will! he is adamant he will never leave this country as he loves it too much. i have no idea why but i guess he has his reasons!

I do hope he changes his mind but if he dosnt i will still make a new life for us both without him. It will be very hard but i know i will cope!

Re: Decision has been made!
 

I've seen this happen a few times and I am still amazed and bemused how a man could put any country before his wife and child.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Good luck with your move back to UK I brought my eldest daughter up for a few years on my own, its hard but I wouldnt have had it any other way, met my OH while i wasnt even looking for love (they say it always happens that way).

Be strong and Im sure you will be fine.....

Good luck to you and your daughter.....

Kath

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi J

Well done for making a decision m'dear.
You're a strong brave woman and dont forget that!
Sending you lotsa love and all the very best

big kissus
Tanya
XX

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi Jude - you are a very brave young woman and I'm sure that you will have the courage and determination to make a new life for yourself back home in the UK with the love and support of your family.

Sometimes things just don't work out as you plan them and with the best will in the world, the hardest of trying, you sometimes have to give in and do what is best for yourself as you only get one life and it should not be spent being miserable and sad.

I truly hope that it all works out for you - the next few months are going to be really tough but hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel and soon you will be laughing and smiling again.

Good luck to you and your daughter XX

Re: Decision has been made!
 

All the very best in your life....I hope you will find peace and happiness. Life's too short.

Cheers

Ginny

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Jude, always remember that you deserve to be happy!

I really hope that your OH has a change of heart and decides to go back with you, but either way I just wanted to wish you all the best for you and your daughter.

Good luck mate :thumbsup:

Jo x

Re: Decision has been made!
 

How does your husband get along with your relations ?
He gets on ok with my family but they dont have a lt of respect for him. Mum has stayed with us in the past & seen 1st hand how he can be towards me!

Have you had any past major problems that have followed you here ?
None that i know of, though his dad died 20 years ago & he has never got over it as he was there at the time & couldnt save him. i truly believe in my heart that he has come here to escape. I have spoke to him on this at length but he wont admit it!

I too agree that he i wrong to let us go but by the same token i dont want to stay so whats the point in him persuading me. Id rather he was coming tto but i know it wont happen!

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Well done for making what must of been a huge and difficult decision, Jude.
As others have said, you only have one life......
Go back with your head held high, with no regrets and after reading your posts, FWIW, I think you are doing the right thing.
In time, Im sure both you and your partner will feel some happiness, so try to see this as a win/win situation.
Take care and keep in touch
Chissy x

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Tough decision to have made, wish you all the best in the future.

Be interesting to see how your OH will manage when he is a lone parent in Oz, specially round school holidays etc. Being a single parent is not easy even when surrounded by friends & family.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi Jude,

As all the other posters on here have said, well done on making an extremely tough decision. Hopefully now you have made definate plans that grey cloud may lift slightly.

July will be here before you know it so stay positive for you and your daughter. You only have one life so live it the best you can. Good luck

Lynne x

We should be back in September (Durham) keep in touch and we could meet up if you do plan to go to Newcastle

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Bear in mind that he may have the legal right to demand that the child be returned to Australia.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Thanks for that!!:(:blink:

Thankfully he wont do that cos as much as i think he may be wrong for letting us go he wouldnt do anything to hurt me !

Re: Decision has been made!
 

my thoughts exactly! one reason why this seems to be the right decision, MM, is that it's about more than being in Oz, right? If you are with a man who will give up his daughter, then this is also a huge red flag that things aren't right. Of course, this is none of my business, but I just wanted to add to the "this is the right thing" sentiment and offer a bit of support.

Good luck to you, lady!

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Jude

Maybe if he's prepared to put Australia (which is just a country after all) before you and your daughter, he isn't worth being with anyway...

All the best back in England.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi Jude,

It seems you decided to move home a while ago but you didn't know it :)
Good luck !

BTW karen is disapointed you cancled you little party ;)

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Is there any chance everyone can lay off bad mouthing someone who is not on the forum to defend himself. Wish MM all the best obviously but leave the guy alone. He presumably has his reasons and they are for him and MM to discuss not everyone else.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Err, no, he surely is thinking about his happiness as he was unhappy in UK. Is that not what Megans mummy is doing in reverse???

Re: Decision has been made!
 

well said i agree.

Re: Decision has been made!
 

I have to agree with that - I hope everything goes well MM for you both - and so sad your OH has prioritised living in Oz over his wife and daughter (you'd have to kill my OH before he'd let the kids be away from him).

Re: Decision has been made!
 

It must be so hard but understand both sides. But I believe it's not just about prioritise a country above your family, it's his life and he's happy. He could move with them and become a broken man, what joy would he be then?

Re: Decision has been made!
 

You may find that he does just that. When these situations progress, people change and legally you do not have a leg to stand on. Get a legal document signed by him NOW that allows your daughter to leave Aus before he changes his mind. You may otherwise be faced with the prospect of staying in Aus until your daughter comes of age, or leaving her behind.

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Hope you and your daughter have a safe trip back here to the UK, best wishes to you both. N

Re: Decision has been made!
 

i wish you all the best in your decision for the future after reading all the posts on this thread i know it must be hard for all of you.
but in the end hopefully everything will work out for the better for you and your family and i always believe everyone should always follow their dreams.
no matter where they laY.
LESLEY X

Re: Decision has been made!
 

i wish you all the best in your decision for the future after reading all the posts on this thread i know it must be hard for all of you.
but in the end hopefully everything will work out for the better for you and your family and i always believe everyone should always follow their dreams.
no matter where they lIE.
LESLEY X

Re: Decision has been made!
 

I agree with Dingbat. Look into the legal aspect as much as you can and sort it out before you leave. The bestest of luck.

Chipotle

Re: Decision has been made!
 

Hi Megansmummy - been following your story on the forum - I know I don't know you or hubby but for what it's worth I think you've made the right decision for now - you need to come home to decide what is important to you - you are a very brave lady and I'm sure a fabulous mummy - whatever happens you will have your lovely little girl with you to keep you going. Lots of luck and best wishes to you. God Bless.