manamama

My daughter threw me a curve ball yesterday....

..she now says that she DOESN'T want to go back to England....

She says she likes her school and wants to stay.

She is only 11. Bless her.

She was the second reason why we were going to return and leave lovely (but boring) Asturias.

First reason was purely financial but there are many more other reasons I could add.

So I am blown away by this total change of mind. For months she has said she hates the school, it's boring and wants to go to England so she can have drama/acting classes.

It's only added to the confused state of mind I have...

spanishdancer

As a mother to daughters just a few years younger than yours I can empathise. I think at this point only you can decide what is really best for her, maybe not for now but for the future. I know she is only eleven but the age where they have to start making critical decisions will soon come around and it depends on your family priorities. Change is overwhelming for everyone. One of my daughters was excited about going back to the UK but I don´t think she understood the permanence of it, leaving friends behind etc and now she is starting to question more about what it will actually involve. I could go on and on. PM me if you want to chat in depth.

quoll

She is probably scared of the unknown - kids do tend to get a bit anxious at that age. Bottom line though is what is the decision you are going to make for you - the kids just go along for the ride IMHO.

spanishdancer

quoll you are right. As mums we have to ensure our own happiness before we can make everyone happy around us. I am learning that at the moment as I make changes.

manamama

Thanks Quoll and Spanishdancer.

You are both right...us moms are the decision makers for their future and my daughter has probably got a touch of the wobbles.

Thanks for the replies...it's nice to have this forum isn't it? with moms who understand.

Mummy in the foothills

Shame she's got cold feet, but at 11 my kids don't get to decide what is best for the family, if the move is right for you and the rest, then she's outta luck. I'm sure she'll settle in fine once there, but I'm also sure if she's anything like my lot, she'll have some stroppy moods in the meantime

boo meringue

couldn't agree more, that's why 11 year olds don't get to vote at an election!!!
they don't know enough about anything and a slong as the parents are happy the kids will pick on those good vibes, I'm stressed at the moment and unfortunately my 13 and almost 17 year olds are picking up on that and so I am going to have to take some deep breaths, meditate, count to 10 and just wait for things to sell and move out of this boring place back to the buzz of the UK.

manamama

I am sure she will thank me for it when she is older...

My kids also used to have a happy, chilled and positive mom..and I can't remember the last time I had a good belly laugh..

Since I have been here, I have been a bit of a nervous wreck...panicky and anxious. All in my head but I just would be on top of the world to be back home..

boo meringue

same here - I've never been so scared alone and depressed, I used to be the eternal bubbly optimist - chins up and look forward

lilybilly101

Same for me. I said exactly this to my husband the other day! I may not have had mountains, beaches and lakes on my door step in inner city Manchester but I did LAUGH lots more than I do here. Each day feels like a struggle with one problem after another. I think life can just be like that but when you haven't got that closeness of friends and you're not laughing the blues away, everything just becomes blue. I call the girls back home and we're laughing in moments.

lilybilly101

Here, here! Happy mummies are great mummies. Be happy all. x

manamama

OK Panic over....daughter DOES now want to move back to England.

On the drive home from school today, she said she's fed up with Asturias, it's boring and she wants to go back to England, doesn't like her school, wants to go to a English speaking school where she understands the work, etc etc etc...

Phew back on track...I suppose she will change her mind again in a day or two. Pre-teens eh?

lilybilly101

Pre teens and pregnant women. I can identfy with her although going back is firmly in place now and I'm not wavring so far. It just feels like a long slog to get there.

Glad she's back on board, for now!

Mummy in the foothills

Oh God the hormones are playing havoc

spanishdancer

I have figured that we just have to enjoy the rest of our time that we have here enjoying the things that were a novelty and a source of joy at first. I am sure that if I return to the UK I will enjoy viewing it with a fresh, appreciative perspective that I wouldn´t have had had it not been for this experience. I have had some awful lows here and some highs too. In the meantime let's not put happiness on hold, we can belly laugh on regardless!