rebs

It's a really tough dilemma for you - from what you've said in your posts, it seems to boil down to this -

• You feel that you want to be back in UK.
• The financial circumstances for your family would be better in OZ.
• The lifestyle that your family has re music lessons/financial aspects etc is an integral part of your happiness.
• Kids want to stay in OZ.
• Husband on the fence/equivocating.

No-one but you can weigh up your unhappiness factor' against the other stuff..... It may be useful/interesting to hear other people's experiences/stories, but this doesn't seem like a decision that can be made by outside influences.

Regarding tax - no point in being 'shocked' about that - it's easy enough to find out the tax bands - here's the hmrc website (I should imagine you've already checked it...)

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/incometax/basics.htm

If you pay into a company pension scheme, the contributions would normally be paid before tax - so slightly reducing your tax burden.

Good luck with your decision - hope things become clearer for you

N1cky

[QUOTE=ezzie;7952036]
Music lessons for my kids are a necessity really, one of them is at the top of her tree in Australia and the other two also play at a high level. We've already sacrificed a lot to buy their instruments (one includes a $25,000 harp) so I wouldn't be scrapping their lessons now. It's fabulous to hear them play and they love being in their orchestra. Money well spent, but I don't want to think about exactly 'how much' money!!!

QUOTE]

Have you looked into Music Scholarships at the private schools in England, lots of schools offer them and that way their music instruction would come within the subsidised fees.

Don't know where you are moving back to, but saw you were from Brum so did a quick search and came up with this school. Might be worth a shot at something like this if they are so talented.

http://www.kes.org.uk/music-scholarships.html

ezzie

Thanks...yes, would love the kids to be at KES. Both hubby and I are ex-KEGS. Aston & Nuneaton though. Not moving back to Brum, would love to but job elsewhere.

The music scholarships we looked at were all for around just 10% of the fees and we can't afford private ed. There are local bands though and one is touring Russia next year!


.[quote=N1cky;7952076]

ezzie

Rebs....you should be a personal life coach...that's it in a nutshell. Please come over to Sydney and organise my life!

rebs

I suspect you could get a reduction of more than 10% if you shop around - here's one of the private schools from Dorset and they quote 50% - 10%.

http://www.canford.com/am2/publish/s...ships_15.shtml

Having said that, even with scholarships, the fees can still be pretty steep...

N1cky

[QUOTE=ezzie;7952089]Thanks...yes, would love the kids to be at KES. Both hubby and I are ex-KEGS. Aston & Nuneaton though. Not moving back to Brum, would love to but job elsewhere.

The music scholarships we looked at were all for around just 10% of the fees and we can't afford private ed. There are local bands though and one is touring Russia next year!


.


I've also seen scholarships way in excess of 10%. KES states they offer 2 100% scholarships per year, they won't be the only school.

Plus you say you will be paying for music instruction, this cost would be saved if they attended a school like this. I don't know what you pay out for music instruction but i'm guessing its quite a lot

ezzie

It's a ruddy fortune! There's nothing around Exeter though and we couldn't even afford 10% of private school fees, nevermind 90%!! Unless we sold the flute & harp but that would be kind of counterproductive!

[quote=N1cky;7952124]

Tr1boy

Now you're just being sillly. You can't possibly believe that you are the only one for whom this stuff is stressful. I've shed tears over it for sure , especially when I have to say goodbye at LHR and fly back here and I've lost more sleep than I'll ever get back. I'm making a judgement on your posts, not you as I do not know you, so your posts are all I have to go on.

This sentence doesn't read very well but I'm reading it as your husband doesn't want to go back? Well good luck Ezzie, but IMO depending how reslolute your DH is, that will be a very hard sell and it's an argument unlikely to be won based on a fiscal platform. You have to both be in agreement first, then jump your logistical hurdles. United, anything can be overcome , divided, the small problem has the potential to turn into Everest.

Sometimes you simply can't tick all the boxes and life moves on regardless.

Jerseygirl

I didn't mention going without necessities like meat, shoes or TV and you made no mention previously about how talented your child was...how was I to know? I was trying to work out what was important to you.

We also struggle with the decision of whether or when to go back to the UK but for different reasons than yourself. It's like having a person from both countries stood on each shoulder whispering in your ear the reasons to stay or go.

Edit: From what I've read in your subsequent posts the little man stood on the right shoulder from Aus is winning. You've mentioned the reasons to stay...apart from you wanting to go back to the UK are there any other reasons to go back?

Lord_Farquar

Basic tax rate is 22% plus 11% NI. So a total of 33%?

Not really that different from Aus after you have taken into account Medicare levy/surcharge??

N1cky

[QUOTE=ezzie;7952133]It's a ruddy fortune! There's nothing around Exeter though and we couldn't even afford 10% of private school fees, nevermind 90%!! Unless we sold the flute & harp but that would be kind of counterproductive!



http://www.exeterschool.org.uk/page.aspx?id=283

Here you go, up to 50% off. Annual Fees of 9,570 means 4,785 per annum to pay. 400 per calendar month.

How much are you expecting to pay in music fees per month? take this off the cost and your kid is getting a good education thrown in too.

This was the first school I looked at by doing a google search, so to say there is nothing around Exeter is a load of crap.

ezzie

Sorry Jerseygirl, I'm tense which means I'm in danger of losing my humour.

No, I'd love to go back...doesn't mean I'm not terrified though. I think we'd have a good chance of getting back if it goes arse-end up. I worry about what it'll do to my kids, their friends, their boy/girlfriends and my son's HSC!

I want to go back because I love culture, history, village life, engaging in a bit of banter with complete strangers, morris dancing, bellringing, mad old ladies in hats, canal walks, drivers who wave, watching sheepdogs expertly guiding the sheep up the mountain, Badger Beer, moorland, quirky English customs, exploring rocky coastlines, snug pubs, the view from the top of the Malverns, standing under a dolmon wondering what life was like in the Stone Age, staying in youth hostels half-way up a mountain, badgers, hedgerows, visiting dusty tithe barns, markets and frosty meadows as well as warm days spent picnicking next to a river feeding the swans.

Here in Sydney I have a big house with a pool overlooking some lovely bushviews. We have good jobs and dh brings in a good wage. My three kids are happy, at good schools and have THE loveliest of friends. We live in a safe area - the youth are delightful, no litter or grafitti. The neighbours wave to us and will have drinks evenings each week in the street. Life is very easy, but every weekend I'm looking for something to do without success. I still don't feel that 'click' like when I talk to a Pom.

ezzie

As I said, we couldn't even afford to pay 10% of private fees for 3 kids. Highly unlikely all three would be selected and the scholarship of Exeter is 25% of fees (may go up to 50% if you're sensational). The auditions are Feb for next year anyway. Thanks for your work anyhow, but I really have done extensive research.

[quote=N1cky;7952310]

Cheetah7

I think you have to have a serious think about what you are prepared to sacrafice in order to get back to England.

1. Go for a smaller house, less bedrooms - could your kids share a room?

2. Any kind of lessons - music or otherwise, put it on hold for a while until you find your feet.

3. Downgrade your food budget - many of us overspend on food luxuries when serious and strict budgeting could save heaps.

4. You have been out of the UK for a very long time so the truth is, you really should have to accept the laws of the system. If that means paying for Uni education then so be it. If you cant afford to pay then delay it, if you dont want to delay it then weigh up if you would be better off staying put until they finish their education in Australia.

It's a whole new ball game moving back to the UK and you really will have to leave your Aussie life behind and that includes the perks that went with it and totally accept the UK - warts and all.

Many people struggle just to get by in the UK but they make the best with what they have and live according to their means - they are happy without the big house, two cars, extras for the kids - they are happy with what they have and enjoy what they can afford to have.

If you really want to go back to the UK then ask yourself what is important - the nice cafes/beaches/lovely house, the music lessons for your kids that you can afford at the moment, just the way of Sydney life that suits you now or going back to a whole new system that is not going to give the same benefits.

Ask yourself if you could settle for a small house, perhaps not being able to afford the luxuries for your kids, like may others - paying for Uni fees for your kids, paying the NI contributions?

If you feel remotely guilty about taking your kids away from the life they have now then why not stay until they finish their education and that way you can start to move forward and then plan for the UK when you know they can stand on their own two feet and you havent had to compromise anything that you feel is important to them.

rebs

Those things aren't going anwhere anytime soon... maybe once the kids have flown the nest and that pressure of the worry about how they will fare in the move is gone, the decision will be simpler for you?