Considering a move back home after 14 years.
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Redgal, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I could not adjust to Arizona, even after living there for 7 years, so our family (incl. 4 reluctant kids and US hubby,) got up and moved back to New Jersey hoping that being 'closer' to home in a four season place would somehow help me with the homesickness. It does'nt!! Because I am still looking for a little bit of England in the US. The lovely countryside, walks, history, quaintness, food, shopping on high streets all the places I visited when I was growing up, I would love my kids to experience these too. I know I have an idealistic view of the UK. But family/history and a sense of belonging is very important for me to feel settled. I too can't stand the malls, big box stores, lack of walkability and isolation. There are days where I just do not want to visit the grocery store simply because I do not like the food. Days when one more visit to Target or Walmart is going to do my head in!! For me there is more to life than malls, restaurants and big stuff.
NJ is nice, its greener and cooler than AZ! But the pull to pack up and go home is too much to handle somedays. And I know that I could move all over the US and not feel settled because deep down I want to go home and wished we had done so much earlier.
Your little one is still very young right now, so that is not a problem. You can really research and perhaps not rush into anything too soon. The older the kids are the more difficult it becomes to make the move. (school/friends) That is a big deciding factor for us as well as finances. You can take a few trips back and see how it feels, see the UK through the eyes of someone living there and not just visiting. And this site will be wonderful for you during your decision making process. It has been a God send for me during my longings for home.
I hope you make a wonderful decision for you and your family.
NJ is nice, its greener and cooler than AZ! But the pull to pack up and go home is too much to handle somedays. And I know that I could move all over the US and not feel settled because deep down I want to go home and wished we had done so much earlier.
Your little one is still very young right now, so that is not a problem. You can really research and perhaps not rush into anything too soon. The older the kids are the more difficult it becomes to make the move. (school/friends) That is a big deciding factor for us as well as finances. You can take a few trips back and see how it feels, see the UK through the eyes of someone living there and not just visiting. And this site will be wonderful for you during your decision making process. It has been a God send for me during my longings for home.
I hope you make a wonderful decision for you and your family.
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Beedubya - you must have 21 days now? ![Thumbs Up](https://britishexpats.com/forum/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif)
Thanks for the links Lorac5 - now I am spending hours looking up houses!
usoruk - Thanks so much. I know what you mean. We have lived all over Canada and know that another move within Canada just isn't going to cut it. Trying to be patient and take it slowly is proving very difficult for all of us. One day we are planning to move by the end of the year and the next day not at all because we can't figure out how we would make it work
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Thanks for the links Lorac5 - now I am spending hours looking up houses!
usoruk - Thanks so much. I know what you mean. We have lived all over Canada and know that another move within Canada just isn't going to cut it. Trying to be patient and take it slowly is proving very difficult for all of us. One day we are planning to move by the end of the year and the next day not at all because we can't figure out how we would make it work
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I do it all the time, swaying back and forth with should we go, should we stay. And we've being doing it for about 4 years now. I pretty much got my family out of their comfort Zone, AZ, to come closer to the UK and we end up in NJ and are not any happier. In fact I thought that I would be over the depression and my hubby thought by moving here he would not have to deal with my constant complaining and sadness. But I feel horrible that I am just as sad and I made them move for me. In fact he told me last night that this is where we are and we have to stay for the kids sake and their stability and put my needs/desires aside for good. We wasted so much time to'ing and fro'ing. That now it really is too late for us to go back.
Sometimes most of us will not make the move because we are financially unstable in our present places. So we might as well be financailly unstable!! somewhere where you will have family, familiarity and a sense of peace. And begin to establish yourselves. Right now we feel, should we buy a home, should I get a full time job, should I bother taking that course, all because I don't know if we will be here longterm or not. Very unsettling. It is best to make the decision, in your case, stick with the plan and make little steps to fulfill your dreams back home. When kids are in the mix, sooner rather than later is best.
Sometimes most of us will not make the move because we are financially unstable in our present places. So we might as well be financailly unstable!! somewhere where you will have family, familiarity and a sense of peace. And begin to establish yourselves. Right now we feel, should we buy a home, should I get a full time job, should I bother taking that course, all because I don't know if we will be here longterm or not. Very unsettling. It is best to make the decision, in your case, stick with the plan and make little steps to fulfill your dreams back home. When kids are in the mix, sooner rather than later is best.
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Oh i was reading your post Kath and i thought i had written it.Its exactly how i feel at the moment.We have been in Alberta for 10yrs.I have a 13yr old boy who is very close to his gran and my parents are now in their 70's and wont be able to come over much more,as i can see them getting older.The day that happens i will be devastated.So we are thinking its now or never.I went back to the UK for the first time in 5yrs about 8 months ago.I automatically felt at home.There was so much to see and do,aswell as having family and friends there........it felt so right.My hubby does have an awsome job and we have a beautiful house here ,but i am trying to look beyond the house and thinking why the real reason is that we are going back. I really cant see us being here forever,especially in the winters.I have back trouble and certainly cannot ski any more,and we are really not out doorsy people in the winter anyhow.
So we have put the house on the market and just hope it sells. We are looking at Lancaster/Lancashire areas.Which is about an hour and a half away from both of our families.So it will be still a new adventure for us,but still so close we can still visit family every other week if we want.
I know what you are feeling as we feel ths same.But go where your heart tells you to go......life is too short (we are 45yrs old)
So we have put the house on the market and just hope it sells. We are looking at Lancaster/Lancashire areas.Which is about an hour and a half away from both of our families.So it will be still a new adventure for us,but still so close we can still visit family every other week if we want.
I know what you are feeling as we feel ths same.But go where your heart tells you to go......life is too short (we are 45yrs old)
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Hi Kath
I have just moved back home from living on Vancouver Island which was beautiful but a little too isolated for me in the end. I'm now living in the Stockport area and looking to move to Marple Bridge where my son goes to school. There is a sweet little village called Broadbottom. Oh my goodness, it has the most incredible community and is as pretty as an English village can be. Google it and you'll see it's website. It's amazing for families and the people are very friendly. There's lots of arty types there....I just love it!
I can identify with your desire to come home. When I had my little boy it became increasingly difficult and once I had my daughter it was game over and the move home became a 'when' rather than an 'if'!
My husband is Canadian and also had a secure but crappy paid job for his skill set. The pull to stay was there but I was going a little mad and my Dad had died, Mum was alone, and other family stuff brought us back. We're now looking for work so I'll let you know how that goes. What field are you both in?
I'm personally much, much happier to be back with family support and the variety English life offers, in both work an our social life (oh my goodness, I was so bored there at times). You sound more content there so I would wait until you're burning to leave!
I understand your worries as you want the best for your family and any move is a risk. I wish you lots of luck with your decision.
I have just moved back home from living on Vancouver Island which was beautiful but a little too isolated for me in the end. I'm now living in the Stockport area and looking to move to Marple Bridge where my son goes to school. There is a sweet little village called Broadbottom. Oh my goodness, it has the most incredible community and is as pretty as an English village can be. Google it and you'll see it's website. It's amazing for families and the people are very friendly. There's lots of arty types there....I just love it!
I can identify with your desire to come home. When I had my little boy it became increasingly difficult and once I had my daughter it was game over and the move home became a 'when' rather than an 'if'!
My husband is Canadian and also had a secure but crappy paid job for his skill set. The pull to stay was there but I was going a little mad and my Dad had died, Mum was alone, and other family stuff brought us back. We're now looking for work so I'll let you know how that goes. What field are you both in?
I'm personally much, much happier to be back with family support and the variety English life offers, in both work an our social life (oh my goodness, I was so bored there at times). You sound more content there so I would wait until you're burning to leave!
I understand your worries as you want the best for your family and any move is a risk. I wish you lots of luck with your decision.
there are some nice areas around those parts. Saddleworth around Greenfield is another nice bit.
I also spend and have spent a fair bit of time around Lancaster, as that is where my old man is from and now is retired there and have a soft soft for the place, close to the lakes too which is a plus.
Of course it comes down to work, but the areas noted all have good rail links to Manchester.
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Bloody Hell, i was born around there, werneth low to be precise. I always thought of Broadbottom as a fancy bit of Hyde?
there are some nice areas around those parts. Saddleworth around Greenfield is another nice bit.
I also spend and have spent a fair bit of time around Lancaster, as that is where my old man is from and now is retired there and have a soft soft for the place, close to the lakes too which is a plus.
Of course it comes down to work, but the areas noted all have good rail links to Manchester.
there are some nice areas around those parts. Saddleworth around Greenfield is another nice bit.
I also spend and have spent a fair bit of time around Lancaster, as that is where my old man is from and now is retired there and have a soft soft for the place, close to the lakes too which is a plus.
Of course it comes down to work, but the areas noted all have good rail links to Manchester.
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