Lorry1

Hi all,

Some of you may know I have been in NS Canada for 4 years now. For 3 of those years I have suffered from extreme homesickness when I could have just driven to the airport and got on the first plane home, back to England.

The only thing that held me back was my family. My eldest who is 16 finishes school here in 2 years, and this is when, I have been promised, we can move back if I am still homesick. I also have an 8 year old who will just settle back into UK life, I hope. My hubby has not been homesick at all, but will move back if I want to.

So anyway, recently I have settled down into Canadian life. I have a good circle of friends which has taken me this long to make. You meet a lot of people when you first move, but not all of them are friends.
I love my job which I have had for 3 and a half years, I always did love it but am even feeling more happy and settled there.

Now, am I settling because 1) I am going back to England for 3 weeks on holiday in August and am REALLY looking forward to it? and/or 2) because it's summer which I totally love? I hate the long snowy freezing cold winters here!

So, I guess this trip back to England will be a test. Will I want to return after spending 3 weeks there or is my life now in Canada?
I will return either feeling extremely homesick which won't make any difference as I have been for 3 years, or I will return thinking NS is the place I should be.

It makes me feel like I don't want to go back as I know it will spoil how I feel right now. But, Is this feeling of being settled a false sense of security?

Anyhoo, just wanted to put it out there. Any thoughts? has anyone else been through this?

Thank you

Scout

It sounds to me like you are just settling in to your new life in Canada because you've now been there 4 years. It really does often take some people more than a year or two to settle. Some never settle, some settle right away, others take a year or two and some take 3 to 5 years. You're working, your kids are in school. You have built up a friend base, etc.

I'm an American living in the UK. I easily settled here but my husband never settled when we were in the States. Even though I settled easily here......it only became dead certain to me this past Spring when I went home to the States for a visit and really saw that I am very much settled here in the UK and can't see myself going back to the States.

I do occaisonally get homesick, but it doesn't last long and I can always head over for a visit if the homesickness gets really bad. Personally, I only feel the need to go home every 2 or 3 years. My husband wanted to come home every 6 months when we lived in the States. My mother otoh thinks I should visit home every other month.

Mummy in the foothills

For some, having the time line, and knowing you will be moving in x number of months or years allows you to feel relaxed and happy thus making you feel better about where you are.

Bevm

Lorry1, you might find that trips back to England are enough. You have to just take it as you find it, I think, and not try to overthink.

Bev

Lorry1

Thanks for the replies
I am sooo excited about going back as it is just a few days away now. I think this is why I suddenly feel settled here. We will soon see when I come back. Will I be depressed...or happy to be back?

Simon Legree

Odds are you'll be happy !

Lorry1

Why do you say that?

Simon Legree

Because you said "why I suddenly feel settled here".
That is a good starting point. Your attitude is more likely be positive if you do, in fact, feel settled. You could even be pleasantly surprised that you may actually look forward to coming back ! I always did.

Lorry1

Thank you
Well I hope it is because I feel I want to stay as the hubby and kids are really happy here.

ann m

I just wanted to say "Hi" and that I can understand much of what you are saying!

We are in our 4th year now and I think it has taken this long to finally feel more at home, found a few good friends, accepting work, etc. Niggling doubts have been bloody annoying to be honest!

We've done a couple of trips back to the UK and it has been lovely to go and see familiar stuff. But we were always comfortable about coming back to our home in Canada too. Very mixed emotions, but a month later you are usually back to your routine and muddling along quite nicely.

Three weeks will be a good trip for you. Enjoy it, stuff your face full of goodies, hit your favourite stores and breathe in as you try to drive around the narrow hedge-lined roads

Report back after your hols - and enjoy!

Lorry1

Hi Ann,

I just quoted on your thread actually lol

Thank you and hopefully everything works out. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so what ever will happen, will happen

I think too be honest I have been looking at England through rose tinted glasses as I haven't been back since before the recession hit. We shall see how I feel when I actually get there.. to the busy overcrowded south.

Take care

Simon Legree

Like I said, you just might even be pleased to come back.
Whatever the outcome enjoy your trip.

Lorry1

Thanks