CUDDLES365

Thanks Dunroving, I guess I am a bit too stressed, I will take your advice and a deep breath and do my best. Thanks to all you guys who offered advice and knowledge, its really nice to know that there are mature, kind hearted and decent folks back home, wish me luck.

dunroving

Mark Twain said something along the lines of "There were hundreds of terrible events in my life. Some of them actually happened". His point was that we fret about terrible things happening and most of the time the fear and anticipation is far worse than the eventual reality (which often ends up being no big deal). So, be diligent, but don't be fretful. Remember Mark Twain!

dunroving

In rough order of importance:

My history. Many folks talk about MBTTUK because they miss their old friends, where they grew up, etc. (their "history"). For me, my history in the UK growing up is something I'd mostly rather forget, and I have very little contact with friends and family (in fact most close family are dead and gone anyway). However, from a long period spent in the States, I have many memories of "growing up" as an adult, and lots of dear friends and people who I consider (and who consider me) as family, in particular two close friends who I consider to be brothers (and vice versa). Also, I have a very well-established professional history in the States, so when I go to conferences it is almost like a professional family reunion.

Professional integrity (in my profession at least, i.e., academia). Despite its definite shortcomings, working in academia in the US is a much more rewarding experience, underpinned by professional integrity and student respect. In the UK, especially my current position, it's more like working in a bad comprehensive school at times. I enjoy my job maybe 10% of the time, whereas in the States it was closer to 90% of the time.

Optimism and positivity. Take the p*ss all you like about Americans being naive and unaware, but I'd much rather be faced with optimistic naivety every day than glumness and cynicism. I enjoy intellectual sophistication, but in so much UK entertainment where the critics laud "gritty realism" I see "worship of misery and cynicism" There are days I simply can't watch the news because it seems they've hired people to think of the most disturbing words possible and the newsreaders seem to be trained in dramatic effect ("barbaric cruelty", "horrific injuries", etc., etc.) I know sh*t happens in the world but sometimes the UK media seems to revel in it rather than in the goodness that exists in the world.

Standard of living (this is related to my personal situation). After working my way through 6 years of grad school, then working and saving like a dog for 10 years, I was mortgage-free. In the meantime, the insane housing bubble here in the UK, in conjunction with the dollar/pound exchange rate explosion prior to 2006, I now find myself with a 25-year £165k mortgage (I'm 13 years from retirement). I could go back to the US today and be (almost) mortgage-free again.

Lastly, the weather in the States suits my lifestyle much better. The dreadful roads and persistent rain around Glasgow mean that I rarely ride my bike any more, whereas I used to ride 4-5 days a week, 200-400 miles every week, most of the year in the States.

There's other stuff, but these are major things. I already went over the word limit.

The_English_Bride

If you're unhappy where you are, does it help to move to another state or city? Sometimes I think maybe I would feel happy in the US if I moved out of this town. I wonder if I want to go home to England right now partly because i'm not happy in this town.

JulieinAustin

I think this all depends on what you're fed up with in the first place... if it's only the place and not the rest of the package that comes with living in the US then yes... I just got fed up with not being able to travel like I used to in the UK, the crap holidays, expensive health service... missing British company, food, humour; shops, nightlife.. so no matter where I live in the states; that's not going to go away...

The_English_Bride

Well, let's just say that there's nothing in this town and if I had the chance I'd have moved to a different location in the States already. I miss my family in the UK more than anything else. But because I haven't really had the opportunity to move to the places in the US I really wanted to be all along, I feel like I can't know for sure that I wouldn't be happy living in one of those places. It doesn't help that I also hate my job and there aren't many opportunities for changing that here.

Erica

Where do you live now?

JulieinAustin

I would give it ago and have a bash at living in another part of the states. Know what you mean about the job situation.. that's how I feel here; I do feel very stuck in a rut, which is something that I had never experienced back in London. I would say try living somewhere else and then you'll have your answer. This is my second place in the states now (we lived in Miami before)and I'm realising that no matter where we live in the US, I'll still be pining for all those things I miss back home, despite Austin being a great city.

Patzy

Have to agree with you here. This is my second place to live too. First was CA which I really quite liked. To me CA is more like a different country, than a different state. For the last 2 years I have been in Memphis - me and the south just do not go together! We were thinking of moving to another state but really I believe I would still be unhappy. Have friends here but they can't make up for my family, especially my daughter who is at Brighton Uni.

JulieinAustin

Yeah I had no idea it would be so difficult to be away from family and friends. I really regret not watching my niece and nephew grow up and all the weddings, births that we keep missing. I just have this constant feeling of missing out all the time.. Can't wait to get back!!

bromleygirl

To Cuddles, as a UK citizen returning home even after 15 years you are treated as being resident and entitled to benefits from the first day that you step off the plane. What you will need to do is do things to show that you intend to make the UK your home again i.e. register with a GP for example, register on the electoral role.

When you go to the DWP they will ask if you have lived outside of the EU and returning from abroad at which time you will need to say yes and they may make you sit the HRT. If for any reason they decline you or state that you have a waiting period then you should quote the Swaddling decision and state you are going to refer your case to your MP. Throwing the MP bit in there always helps. There is a lot of info on the web on the Swaddling decision but basically it sets a precedent stating that UK citizens returning from abroad with the intention of becoming resident again are classed as residents from day 1.

If you put everything into place and have your facts you will be fine.

The_English_Bride

Yeah, there is more to me wanting to go home than just needing a better town or city to live in, but I suppose I'm thinking in the mean time maybe I would be happier. I'm still considering waiting for citizenship eligibility. It would be cool to be able to visit Europe more easily again, especially since hubby hasn't been before!

The_English_Bride

We were supposed to move somewhere new this summer, but you know how plans don't always work out! Anyway, now we're stuck here for another year, but after that we can move.

The_English_Bride

A small town in West Virginia. It's not really a good fit for me, and never has been, but i've made it work so far. Hubby wants to leave too!