The Colour of the Grass...
 

Hello there,

I'm after a bit of impartial advice please (if there's such a thing).

I moved to Australia when I was thirteen with my Dad and his other two kids. I joined the police when I was nineteen with the intention of moving away at some point, possibly back to the UK. I took a year off work in November and left my girlfriend with the intention of travelling and came back to the UK, I've been here since.

I've got myself a girlfriend, a job and I live with family. I have a little side business teaching martial arts classes and I like to visit places, see things etc.

I imagine myself growing old with a nice little cottage in the countryside, and don't really want to live in Perth forever. The problem is money, I could go back to my career and earn a lot more than I do here in my dumpy office job. I also can't study or join the police here due to the three year residency rule, so I'm stuck for at least three years (I'm twenty five).

All I really want to do is settle down, but the fact that I've lived in two different places seems to haunt me. There's too many what if's, such as Brexit here, the mining downturn in Perth etc etc. You'd think that having options would be a good thing, but it's driving me nuts. All I seem to do is compare everything (which I know is unhealthy) but I can't help it. I spend a ridiculous amount of time on Google maps and it's becoming a bit of an obsession.

Has anyone else experienced this? Because no-one else around me has and I find it hard to talk to people who can't relate to me. I'm not asking for a magic solution to the problem but any advice would be very much appreciated.

Cheers,

Josh

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Ah, the "road less travelled" syndrome!

You will spend a lifetime wondering how things might have turned out if you had taken the other fork in the road. This happens to ex-pats especially, but it happens to everyone.

I suggest you figure out what it is you actually like doing and go for it. Life is to short to do the wise thing so you are "better off". If it is traveling that turns you on then look to work in the travel industry. It is what you are doing and who you are doing it with that matters. Where you are doing it is a lot less important.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

I would advise staying long enough to get your Australian citizenship, then if you still feel you want to go back, you have your options open. I think citizenship obtained via naturalisation can be passed on to any children you have. At least that's how it works with UK citizenship so expect it is the same with Oz citizenship.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

I have an Australian passport. I'm currently in the UK, wondering whether I should go back to Australia. I have until November to decide :)

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

My wife & I are going through the process of moving from Canada back to the UK, but if we were to base our decision on financial matters alone we wouldn't be leaving. I would be earning about the same as I do here, but my wife is facing at best a 50% pay cut in her field of work (teaching). Everybody's circumstances are different of course, & there are other factors in play for us also, but one thing I've learned in life is that you can't put a price on inner peace & contentment :nod:

Wish you the best of luck

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

My parents had the choice of emigrating from the UK to Canada or New Zealand back in the 1950's. They were from farming families. They chose Canada. Knowing what I know now, I wish they had chosen New Zealand.

Fortunately I ended up with British and Canadian citizenship. I think Canada is in for a tough couple of decades due to government mismanagement. England looks very good in comparison, and I am hoping to move in the next couple of years.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Well you're only 25 so a few decades until you're at the settling down in the little cottage in the countryside of England stage. If you come back, will you leave the current girlfriend and take up with the old girlfriend, will the current girlfriend come back with you? Are you satisfied with the jobs you are holding? Do you want to go back to the Police in WA? Do you have a place in Perth or were you just renting? If you came back to the Police, could you get a transfer somewhere else in the Country? Would moving States be something that you're interested in doing? If you come back to the Police, would you be able to do a Martial Art teaching job at the same time (If it's something that interests you enough)? Would you set up your own MA school and drop the Police? So many questions! :lol:

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

My girlfriend wouldn't come with me, and I definitely won't be taking up the old one. I'd go live with a friend until I sorted everything out. I don't really enjoy both jobs I've had, but then again, who does? I have a MA school over there I could work for, though it would take a while to build up a client base, as it is here.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Hi Josh,


We moved back from Perth WA in 2010 after living there for over 12 years, we were all too busy here at first to compare "things" we look back now and we say "oh that was nice....it was hot in the summer" that type of thing but its with a fondness, I was always encouraged to look forward if "things" were not working out the way I planned and how to make things better. I know how you feel about others understanding your situation and feelings, you have this site now though to help. When you have so many choices as you do it can make things harder in a way so I would first start with 1) would you live in the Uk if you had a job you liked, 2) if you want back to Aus would you miss the family you have in the UK and your girlfriend, 3) and of course could you leave us fabulous Brits lol, seriously if we had decided on money and jobs we would never of moved back to the UK we did very well in that respect in Aus but we were not truly happy there and that's what truly matters...being happy. If you truly feel you want to stay in the UK and you want to join the Police Force etc then set your mind to it (I have known people to join the Police force in WA and the Armed forces after migrating) so do the same here, if you do not have a British passport then obtain one, if you do decide on staying in the UK then really think about what you actually would like to do as a job here and start making enquiries, your young and there is tons of help and advice out there and assistance if needed. Good luck with everything and I hope the decision you make works for you.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for your advice, it's been very helpful and good to have some different perspectives. The biggest thing that I've taken from it all is to do what makes you happy.

There's parts of this country that are pretty bad, I got lost in Hillsborough the other day and it was awful. Saying that there are also absolutely amazing places that I've never experienced previously, having come from Hull and spending the majority of my life there until I was thirteen. Not that Hull is a particularly bad place now, but it was then, and that side of my family are content where they live and therefore don't venture out much. I live about halfway between Hull and Leeds now, and I think it's a really nice area.

What the expats in Australia failed to mention to me when they were slagging off Britain was the fact that there are actually really nice places, and nice people too. I've been to Edinburgh, London, York, the Isle of Man, Nottingham, Leeds, Sheffield and Kilkenny in Ireland since I moved back in November. All of these places had good parts and bad parts, and were not teeming with yobs like my friends in Perth led me to believe.

I think I'm definitely happier over here, I enjoy the countryside, the old stately homes, castles and anything historic as they all make me a bit proud to be from this country (dare I say it). I also have good family members and a girlfriend that I like to spend time with.

I've picked a goal and I shall stick to it. I've enrolled in an Open University course (BA History) with the intention of picking up work in the education industry, seeing as they're so low on staff. I'd also like to move a bit closer to York, as I love spending time there as does my girlfriend, so I'm applying for jobs in the area.

Again, thank you all so much for your advice, it has been invaluable.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

In this day and age you would have been better enrolling in a Science/technology/engineering/math course, rather then history.

Far more opportunity to obtain decent jobs with those degrees.

What does "picking up work in the education industry" mean anyway?

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

G,Day Josh, Ive been though it, back to OZ back to the UK, back to OZ..East perth/Adelaide....there comes a time, when , well for me, if i didnt make a decision id have nothing left....Ironic...I chose Hillsborough!!!!...I love it here, been Norwich , Worcester, York, Brugh!, Aberdeen...Hillsborough and Walkly are actually really nice, yeah many old workers terraces, but they all lead onto Middlewood Road which is a cool place, (mind we did have an armed Robbeary on Thursday, on the travel agents the sledge hammer hole is still in the window)....tram 10 mins to town, best and cheapest Boxing club in the UK!!, Assay office, creative spaces, well i like it....yeah its gritty...but more life than say Norwich or Worcester...Brum is grimy, but you still in Hillsbourgh???

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

I don't believe I'd do well in any of those disciplines, simply because I'm not interested in them. Why do something for the rest of your life that you know you won't enjoy?

It means working in the education industry. So teaching, or jobs similar until I'm qualified, such as a TA, or student support in a college/university.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Crime doesn't necessarily make an area bad, there was loads of robberies in East Perth that I attended and it was a nice around there.

I'm not quite sure where I was to be honest, my data ran out on the way to Meadowhall. It was near the stadium anyway, so I assumed the area was Hillsborough. I just googled Middleton Road and it looks quite nice, it definitely wasn't around there.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

I think you were towards Bramel Lane, thats Sheffield Uniteds ground, A bit of a dogs breakfast around there

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Josh, my two oldest kids were born abroad (in Japan) and are about your age, but came back to UK relatively young. Nevertheless, they still maintain close ties with Japan, and recognise that working and living in the UK has pros and cons. I think they both have a degree of wanderlust (the eldest went to work in Oz soon after she qualified, for a couple of years) and I wouldn't be surprised if either or both of them end up living and working abroad, perhaps permanently (the one who went to Oz was really taken with NZ, after a few weeks holiday there). They've both chosen careers that they're interested in, and my youngest -- who's just about to start work -- is doing something that fills him with passion.

As you and others have said, a fulfilling and low-stress job is important. It's also vital to recognise that a job that's low-stress for one person may well be high-stress for another. I have (mainly retired) teacher friends, and several just couldn't hack it towards the end, one of them being off with stress for nearly a year (that was in a primary school). But if it pushes your buttons, go do it: almost anything can be rewarding and satisfying if you give it your all.

I'd say that you're right to have a plan, even if it's going to take some time to work through it. Stay focussed, and enjoy it.

Oh, and God's own country isn't a bad place to aim for.

Good luck.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Hi, We love York and would be one of our choices when our youngest finishes his PGCE Primary in July 2018, have you thought of teaching after your degree? would you also not think of doing a History degree full time, lots of youngsters do that and still can have their own place due to the finance available to students nowadays, York is a great Uni especially for History. We have certainly travelled around the UK since we have returned, some of my favourite places apart from York are Bath and the surrounding areas ie Bradford Upon Avon, Winchester, Norwich and we really love the North Yorkshire area, plenty of market towns and castles plus the scenery is wonderful, really when you "get out and about" away from the big industrial cities there are plenty of lovely smaller cities and market towns all over the UK. Good luck though and its great you have a plan in place. ps have you taken the overnight ferry to Brugge from Hull, its an excellent way to travel and you can get some great bargains plus Brugge is a wonderful old city.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Well, the grass is definitely greener in the uk, it never has to get bleached by that pesky UV stuff, and is kept damp most of the time of course.

It amuses me that a lot of americans in the dry states spray their grass green for most of the year :-)

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

You sure you're not part of the police? Proper interrogation right there! :rofl:

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Travel while you are young and able to as in later life you may regret not doing so.

Re: The Colour of the Grass...
 

Hi Josh,
I wouldn't offer any practical advice, but a few thoughts. We lived in Hong Kong for four years and France for 2 sets of two years and spent much of our free time backpacking wherever we could get to. One of the most important lessons we have learned is that wherever you go you take your baggage with you. If at 25 you're worried about the choices you are making, you probably always will and consequently never be fully satisfied with what you have. Having said that I believe you can change your mindset.

I think we have a sort of unspoken mental approach that we have developed over the years. Have a list of priorities without any of them being red lines if possible and then carry them with an open mind. Your personal baggage may stay with you, but your ability to cope with or compensate for it will grow and your priorities may well change. One day you will simply recognise where you are at that moment is perfect. It may be forever or it may not. Does that really matter?

I'm a great believer in asking myself 'What's the very worst that can happen?' It may surprise you what you are capable of when the surprise factor is removed from a fear of change.

We are early retirees, not totally through choice, and can't afford to live in UK so we are partly selling up and heading off to live in the canals of France. I know we are extremely lucky to be able to do even this, but the point is we are still taking a risk, only we fully recognise what that risk is. It doesn't hold any worry for us.

You're 25. What's the very worst that can possibly happen?