ukaussie

Hi all my first post. I have been reading through the return posts and haven't seen too many people that have come over as kids that want to return, probably because they are in my situation. I was 6 when my family left the UK my parents where involved in the rocket program in Woomera in South Australia and then in South America when it was relocated. We had returned to the Uk on several occassions while moving around and I have been back several times since then. But I have spent most of my life here in OZ. But I still feel the pull to go home, I still think of it as home. I love been there and don't want to come back, yet my parents and my brothers would never return not even for a visit. I am married now to an aussie and have teenage kids who have all but left school and they have no interest in going there at all. So here I am stuck in limbo and it is tearing me apart. To return to the UK at my age with nothing is a very freightening prospect staying maybe worse. I have met quite a few people who are in similar situations but none of us who have returned. Anyone with similar stories or who has returnted and found it wasn't what you had hoped or you found peace and home.

JAJ

Have you obtained your Australian citizenship? At least that would mean you could come back if you did leave and then changed your mind.

ShozInOz

What is it that you want fro the UK. As someone who has lived in both countries, my view is that life is much harder here, and if as a family you have grown to love the outdoor lifestyle, then moving to the UK could be a bad move. It is an interesting place, but I wonder if you are holding onto a childhood reality?

THEGREATIDIOT

I was 16. And boy does it suck.

ShozInOz

Bad age to move anywhere mate.

northernbird

I have every sympathy for you mate but lose the bitterness, it will consume you.

ukaussie

Yes I do have Australian citizenship I finally decided to get it last year don't know why really but was probably a good idea. As to hanging on to a childhood yes posibly. I am not an outdoor person I am a home bod for the most part, I don't like the heat, the bright light much prefer grey skies.
As to what I want from the UK don't really know, it just feels like home when I am there. I guess the biggest pull was my grandmother she brought me up as both my parents worked she was quiet torn when we left but we remained close, but she past away some 8 years ago now so that part of it has gone and the rest of the family are not that close.
I guess it is a romantic notion, the history, green fields, rain, country lanes a sense of belonging, happiness, orange club bars. Really hard to explain, I have always wanted to return, never wanted to leave in the first place. I guess I feel I have never fitted in here, the lifestyle was never my thing, never go to the coast/ beach, don't BBQ don't do the sport thing, love to walk in the country but bush walks here are so boring and hot. like most don't have close friendships don't seem to click but that is probably just me or maybe not. Anyway after 30yrs of to and throughing I feel I need to do something, even though it will be at huge cost to all concerned.
I guess I am trying to find out if it is possible to return and start again with nothing, I have no idea were to go to get information or who to talk to.

THEGREATIDIOT

So I've been told! I had a job a few years back in a switchboard room with this middle aged woman and she asked me when I came to oz. I said when I was 16. She pulled a face and went "Oh, what a terrible age to come to Australia!"

ShozInOz

I suggest a counsellor - seriously. People you know will have an angle on it that is probably not your best interests.

ukaussie

I had one of those, they say you just have to do it and get it out of your system. I was 12 when we finally cut ties to the UK. As they say it was a bad time to leave. The question is not if but when, dose anyone else fall into this trap. What I am more intested in is what I have to do when I get there and find out what the true situation is with returning to the UK and what they expirenced doing this.

toandfro

I came at age 10 I took my family back 8yrs ago(my wife is uk born) my kids were 13,12,8 we came back because the kids wanted to come home .well my wife and my self are going up the wall the eldest is marring a UK girl and that is really a pain,theyare stuggling with roster life since all work in aust seems to work on even timerosters so you can't do week end sports or clubs the youngest is just English ,the middle son seems to fit in but still has no mates and after a few drinks opens up and complains about it . we will go home soon and the kids will have to decide for themselves which sounds hard but you can only give up so much and make so much sacrifice before you go do lally tap . I have 2 pasports so toandfro I am .if you have the means you sould ,if you feel the need give it a try it might be the best thing you do ,if not you can always return .

callé

Hiya. I have done it. You can check my back posts if you like. My parents went to Florida when I was five. I returned going on two years ago this year. I am 52. Some will tell you its all romantic memories, but to me living these gorgeous green fields, the small shops, the pubs, most of all...my country, my people.....I cant get enough of it. I still look out in awe, finding myself staring out the window and it still makes me well up a little.
Its very hard and I gave up a lot to move at my age. I worried about my kids and husband, all american. They have all fell in love with England, even my stubborn 17 y.o. daughter. My husband never had any desire to come here or anywhere, but came for me and now he says he wants to see so much more as he is amazed at the different world around him.
Its got to be your own decision and your family's. But it can be done if you put your mind to it. Keep searching, the answer will come. best wishes.
calle

ukaussie

Thanks Calle Glad to hear someone has done it, and thinks I'm not mad lolol. Tho convicing my wife to go, is a different story we have come close several times but she has backed out each time, she came with me once 20yrs ago and couldn't get out quick enough she lasted 4mths. So it might be a lonely journey. I will probably go alone and get settled see how I go maybe then I can convience her to give it another try. I will check out your previous posts. Thanks again

denver

Wow! I really feel for you... it must be very difficult to be wanting to move back somewhere after so long. It sounds like it might cause your marriage to break up? Would you choose a country over your wife?

However, having a sense of belonging is very important. It is not a nice feeling to feel like a fish out of water. Maybe you should try it and see if the reality matches your memories/expectations? I think you will find that the UK has changed a lot in the last 30 years, but there are some lovely villages about. Good luck!

ukaussie

I have been going back and forth over 25yrs so I have seen the changes generally go on my own, odd occasions with one of the kids usually stay 2 to 3mths ea time. But I haven't gone back to live on my own 2 feet as it where more the tourist seeing family etc.
It is not so much country over wife but happiness over dispear it has taken so long to find out what was the cause of it, no one can make you happy you have to do that yourself. Everyones main concern it that I am safe and I am able to sustain myself. Looking at the cost of rental I am begining to wonder myself, maybe a barn in the Outer Hebrides.
I am on more of a fact finding mission to access wether I can do this, I am sure the other half will follow but I need to be sure this is what is right for me before she is prepared to come half way round the world.
I was mainly looking for others that were in my position to share expirences with.