ironporer

And people actually wonder why companies like mine have a no-fault attendance policy...don't matter if you are in court or bring in a doctors excuse, you have a sick kid or whatever. Only excuse absences are for death in the family, jury duty, military duty or FMLA.

You sir are the reason...

Silly Sod

I take exception to that sir!!! As far as i know I have never worked for you. And only a fool of the highest order would use jury duty. Too much of a paper trail; possible news reports, knowledge of procedure needed in case any other nosey employees have been on a jury themselves. Far too tricky.

danfan

I've pulled some crappy excuses myself in the past.

On the other foot... it always make me laugh when someone calls in sick and fakes the cough or "sick voice".
One guy we had was late nearly every day. His excuses where awful.
"My car won't start" came 3 days in a row, so my DH fixed his car.
Next day "I lost my keys in the front yard somewhere" (I heard that excuse 4 or 5 times).

Few days later, he was late so I called his cell phone. He swore he was 2 miles away. 20 mins later, I called again. "I'm at the side of the road, pulled over by police. I'll be half an hour". DH drove to where he claimed to be, no-one there. He rolls up 30 mins later claiming the officer let him off without a ticket.

The final straw "I'm in jail". Ok, see ya. Your last check is in the mail.

Deedee13

Oh god this has me blushing... I was in the ARMY back in the days of when. Was posted in Catterick - 3000 guys 90 girls. Life was nice back then. One afternoon - sports afternoon he had to go back to his regiment, so i wanted to see him off at the station. Excuse, I had to go to the womans doc!! Got back and was posted AWOL! Stands infront of the sgt and told him that I had to go to the womens clinic because I had an "itch". B stard wanted to know what the outcome was so i said the queue was too long so i came back to camp. Bloody ass then went on the phone and made me an appointment at the STD clinic!!! Which I got accompanied to! How freaking embarressing is that . I got the all clear but no man has ever been worth going thru that for again in my life!! I didnt have a day off sick the last 5 years I worked. Do i get a blue peter badge??

Silly Sod

I should say you do!!! Spot on.

When I was young(er) and silly(er) I convinced my bezzie mate to come down to cornwall for a week of pissing about by the sea. He was just about to be made manager of a bar in manchester so was reluctant. I said it would be no porblem, he could just call in sick from a payphone everyday, how would they know he wasn't at home?

When we arrived in Holsworthy we discovered that they only had one of those old red boxes where it beeps as you struggle to get the money in. They didn't believe he was in bed ar home of course with all the beep beep beeping etc. He got the sack. Good week though.

Another time he offered to get me a job at the Ramada hotel (now the Radisson) in Manc, where he was bar manager. No probs he said, come in and fill out the form and the jobs yours. It was quiet in the bar and he served me glasses of Remi as I did the form, then he joined me for a quick one, and then two and three. Beforelong we were ratted and, yes, he got the sack again. We went out on the piess straight away and celebrated our new found freedom ha ha. Oh the happy days of youth!!!

PS - he did get me the sack from the soundgarden Nightclub and the Britannia hotel

Tracym

And does this poor guy still actually like you?

Silly Sod

He he he. He is my kids godfather and a glutton for punishment. Shortly after I moved over here he turned up in bama with his american girlfriend who is up the duff and who I didn't even know he had met. I am sure I can lose him his first US job

Tracym

PMSL. Somehow, I think I'd hate to be him on stag night.