Cambridgeman

First off I am new here, so hello to everyone The questions I wanted to ask have been sort of covered here but I wanted to hopefully get some answers to more specific areas.
I have wanted to return to England from the USA for a few years now. I have not been backing home in 17 years. Though my life has been split living between both countries, I never felt America was really home. My wife supports me and says whatever I decide, she will follow.
I have a friend here in America that is from the UK as well. He says that perhaps I miss the memories and not actually the UK itself. I understand that is something no one can answer but have to realise for myself.
So my question is for those who have gone back after a long time. Did you feel it was the right move? Were there a lot of doubts before moving and even after you first returned and for how long?

Its hard to explain, but I have had a longing, like feeling homesick to return. My accent is gone, but my heart and mind is still there? I feel like a "what I am doing here?" has really been gnawing at me over the last year especially.
Thanks to those that lend their advice.

windsong

Welcome, Cambridgeman.

I haven't been back home in as many years, but I return in about three weeks. It was finding this expat forum and reading about the stories of others that I could identify with so very well that helped me make the decision to return.

For me, part of it is a longing to return to the memories which is, of course, impossible, but also to return to what the UK stands for. I would write a book if I began to list all those things but it is all those things that make the UK my real home.

I have lived in the USA over 30 years. It took me five years to resign myself to being here. After that, I learned to accept the things I liked about it and rejected the rest. The people are very different, even though we speak a similar language. The culture is very different. Sometimes I think we fool ourselves into thinking they are the same because the language is similar. It is not so, at least not in my opinion.

I miss having a balanced life - work and play, the beauty of the land, the trains, fish and chips - and SO much more!

I have been homesick all the years I have been here but squashed it for a good number of those in an effort to survive. In doing so, I felt half dead. Not any more.

Stay and read people's stories and you will be able to identify with many of them and it will help you decide what it is you really want - and why.

Cambridgeman

Thanks windsong for your post. I to feel half dead and miss the same things as you have mentioned. I think I will keep browsing and reading more stories posted here. Thanks!

quoll

32 years for me. My head always told me that Australia was home but my heart just never got the message. I never had the "homesickness" that many describe but it was just a general malaise that I didn't "belong" where I was. Circumstances changed and I now find myself back in UK where, I have to say, I have become "me" again having become a sad, overweight, chronically depressed old woman, I have taken on a new lease of life, lost weight, got some real joy back so that even living in a really trying situation with a dementia driven nonagenarian mother I still wake up every morning with a sense of lightness of being. I don't have to put on a mask and act like being a happy chappy every day! I AM happy!

Will it work for you? Who knows! Life is what you make it. If you have the chance and can jump through all the visa hoops for your wife (that is a stumbling block for many!) then give it a go and see how it pans out!

michali

45 years for me! Apart from two years in between. I did not have a yearning to be back as our decision was based on practical issues, like being old and needing to be nearer our children. We have been back for just four weeks so it is too early to say how it will work out. However, so far, it is great! The fact that the weather has been wonderful has helped a lot. Even though we are quite old to be relocating, we are finding it quite easy to settle and get everything done that has to be done. And it is so good to be able to see our children and grandchildren more often. We had to go through the visa process which in itself is stressful and we will go through it again in two and a half years time but we survived it! If you really want to do it, do it! Life is made up of experiences, good and bad and we learn from each one. Sometimes our choices may not work out for us. If that happens, move on! Good luck!

lgabriel73

Take a trip back and then decide. You can't really know if you want to be there if you haven't been to the country in so long. I think many people have a harder time adjusting that haven't experienced being in the UK for a long time. You can't base your decision on what the UK was like when you were there 18 years ago. Get a fresh perspective of the UK before you jump into it.

moneypenny20

You definitely need to go back and 'test the water' first. The big problem with moving overseas is that sometimes it's incredibly hard to know where you belong. Lots of people settle back in as though they've never left. Others find that they feel even more alien than they did when they moved overseas originally.

Good luck for whatever you do and you find what you're looking for.

newcastleUT

I moved 5 years ago and have wanted to go back ever since I got here. I now live in Canada and its terrible I don't fit in people think im stuck up because im quiet and because of my accent (I have a Geordie accent). I was 11 when I moved and didn't want to tell my dad and sister I didn't like it here. I plan on moving back after I finish high school and then finish college. which is in 4 years time. the main reason I want to move back is I like how you can walk everywhere there, there is more to do and the people are friendlier. if you really wanting to go back then you should theres really no point in waiting around because you might regret not going back and if you change your mind you can always move back again.

lf1

This describes me too except substitute Canada for OZ. I have been back for almost two years and I have absolutely no regrets. I feel alive again. I had a very comfortable life in Canada, but it felt a bit more like an existence and I always knew I did not want to grow old there. I left after almost 32 years.

durham_lad

After 23 years living in the US we retired, aged 55, and thought we would like to go back to the town we loved the most, where we lived for 6 years and where our 2 children were born.

A year later we rented a house in that town for 7 months, March through October, to see if "going back" was really possible. We loved it and it felt like we had never been away so we have decided to move back in 2016. Having that trial run has confirmed that the UK is really where we want to hang our hat

Gozit

I can really relate to you ... I have a friend like that. They came from wales 2-3 yrs ago and she doesn't like it here. Wants to go back to the UK... Myself I am also similar, but my home is Malta. I hope to be back either when I turn 18 / grad from high school or after I finish uni. Depends which way the cookie crumbles I guess...

Whereabouts in Canada are you?

lf1

Are you moving back to the Durham area?

durham_lad

I'm from County Durham, my wife is from Lancashire, we met in Leicestershire but we fell in love with Yorkshire.

lf1

I have had a couple of trips to York, but now I am back in the UK I hope to see more of the Yorkshire area as it has always appealed to me.

daisymoll

Hi, after ten years in Canada, feeling like this too, thought I was ok for nine years, but have always complained of never quite belonging...definitely the sense of belonging that is missing for me, changes in sense of humour etc etc, it takes so much effort to try and make it right too.

Who knows whether going back to UK is right thing, but you may always wonder if you don't.

Interestingly in HSBC here, two different cashiers mentioned at different times that so many Brits return