Engaging older children can be a challenge as they are quite naturally seeking to find their own identity and independence and forge stronger ties with their peers.

You need to look at engaging them in activities that can stimulate their developing and more complex thinking. A "family night" once a week for instance where after dinner there is no tv or pc etc and instead you all play charades or yahtzee or some other board game.

Also maybe once a month having an outing together where they get to nominate an activity for the outing, eg; trip to movies, picnic, dinner out, seeing a live production (maybe local theatre group). You and your OH also get to nominate and you can do one activity one month and a different one the next.

Some activities (like a play) can stimulate discussion afterwards eg, what was the meaning/moral/ message of the play? Was it relevant? why/why not?
Just remember it's not a debate. There's no winners or losers. It's purpose is to develop a new level of connection between you and the kids and build a dynamic relationship as opposed to a stagnant one.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking they must be friends with their kids. This thinking is based on a false premise and doesn't work (unless you are a step-parent, in which case it's the only real option).

You will always be their parents to them, and this is in a sense provides a level of security and identity to them. Trying to be their friends would be counterproductive and confusing to them.

Anyway, I don't mean to bleat on or tell you how to raise your children Just hope my suggestions might give you an idea on how to get back that interaction with them you obviously value and miss.

Not easy being a parent. Best of luck

Last time we went home we chose to go in Dec. and January for the atmosphere we missed so much. We loved it and didn't want to come back here either. I tried so hard to keep the tears at bay that I felt my chest was going to burst open and my heart was going to jump out in Heathrow. When we got back here, I cried and cried on and off for weeks.

I don't have a 2 year old now, but I used to and, no amount of bad weather kept us couped up inside if we didn't want to be. This has all been said before on other threads, each to their own.

I'm going back to the UK for a holiday on February, and the kids there alreayd have a timetable to fill every available minute, regardless of the weather. If its wet, they have truly imaginative brains and can play for hours like my sister an I used to - making up stories etc. Then its cooats on, go for walks etc. After three + years here, I'm sure that is a better life for them, able to run around and be energetic. Sitting in Qld today, 30+ degrees, to hot to move, they would just wilt and lie around the place feeling awful. I guess it depends on the kids, some must be able to deal with it here, but I know my sister's lot would be nowhere near as happy.

Now that is a real sign you need to go back. I hope you will be able to soon, as it is obvious that is what will make you much happier than staying here.

41c here yesterday. and similar today I think Pol. Only good thing is we don't get the humidity you guys do in QSLD. You think you will end up going back to UK to live at some stage? Would the bloke be open to living there? Can eb difficult when one partner wants to be in one place and the other somewhere else. Something eventually gives in my experience, one way or the other.

This where we lived, surrounded by trust land. You can just see our house in amongst the trees there. We called the little copse at the side of our house, "The magic forest" 'cos we used to go for walks with nieces, nephews and our own to find 'magical' things. Usually only an acorn or bird feather, but to the children, it was magical.

Hope you have a wonderful time back home Polly.

I agree, last week the boys were in york, a jacket and beanie was the most they needed to get out and about, which we did everday, not bad for january. Its not like the UK is severe cold most UK weather does not stop you getting out, its not an extreme climate.

Back in OZ now, its msn and playstation inside in the AC too humid for much else, quick dip in pool and back inside. Back to school on monday, both are dreading sitting in class in this heat.

I just couldn't bear the thought of all that heartbreak again if I went just for a visit, although I am now thinking that maybe I might book for us to go home in December again, to house hunt!

To be honest, although he is sat here today moaning about the heat, I don't think he would cope over there. Its too different, and he is too much a country Qlder at heart. He'd hate the damp and the cold, hate the fact that we would be living in a small place - he's a big guy and likes alot of space to roam around in. Lives in shorts - he'd find it awful having to wear trousers but would freeze otherwise. I think he has rose-tints about the place at times, and feels it would be lovely to live there, but as we all know, visitng for a holiday is one thing, living somewhere is different.
I got my little nestegg from my dad's estate this week, not a fortune at all, but enough to stash away and use for a few trips, which helps to make it more bearable in between times!

I have lived in Queensland for 2 years I know how hot it gets.Having worked outside in Britain for over 15 years I know what climate I prefer living in,but then this is just my opinion.On the whole I was just saying that it is easy to forget how bad the weather is in the uk when you have been away for a while.

What a lovely place to live.

Thanks but we do play Yorkshire Monopoly and Yahtzee when it's wet or too hot and stuff like that I just miss playdough and tents made of old sheets

try january here it's finally getting above freezing on sunday
http://weather.wwlp.com/localforecast#

OMG how gorgeous why on earth did you leave that, it would be my dream come true I love forests and trees. There was a forest near us when I was growing up and I remember vividly taking shelter during a thunderstorm, the sky went a magical luminescent grey and the leaves on the trees were a vivid green and the air felt tangibly magical I wanted it to last forever. I love bluebell forest too if you lie down amongst them and squint you can see the fairies, honest .

I left my heart and soul in that house. I know that sounds abit melodramatic, but it's true. The person I was then, isn't who I am now and not just because I am 10 years older. Everyday we had Squirrels, Pheasants, Jays Woodpeckers, Nuthatches etc.etc. come into the garden for nuts & seed we put out, some of them were quite tame. Opposite the house was all farmland, yet we were only 20mins. from the centre of London. It was beautiful. The year we moved, the house was 100 years old. It sold straight away and I stopped our solicitor from proceeding with the sale twice as I was struggling with the thought of someone else buying my home. I couldn't even drive past it when we went home 2 years ago, so we had to take the long way round to visit family in the village.

Btw, we had Fairies too, when the Bluebells were in full bloom.