Anyone in this situation?

Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:32 am
  #1  
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Default Anyone in this situation?

I'm actually typing in disbelief that I'm on the 'moving back to the UK' forum. I too want to go back home and I will asap. However, I wonder if anyone has the same reasons for wanting to return home as me?
My mother and my aunty emigrated over here (Oz) when I was 15. My parents had split up and I moved in with my wonderful grandparents and stayed in the UK with them. I came back and forth to Oz for long holidays during school/college/uni holidays to visit my mother.
My relationship with my mother has always been pretty volatile, she is very boheniam and has a wild streak. I adore and love her terribly and always will. She has managed make a very successful life for herself with her Oz partner. I have never been neglected financially, I can say that.
Anyway, she has always said to me that when I finished uni etc I should come over and join her. Well I didn't, I fell in love, bought a house and got underway with a rewarding and interesting career. Cut out a few years and my partner and I split up on good terms thankfully.
So there it was, my perfect time to go over and live in Oz. Luckily, we didn't sell the house but I did leave a good job. I allowed my mother to convince me that Oz was the bee's knee's and that I would have plenty of opportunities over here. Gulible old me hangs onto her every word and believes that everything would be perfect and I'd settle down no problems. Another fact that made me believe this was that my nanna had also moved over here and with me being closer to her I thought I'll give it a go. I also have my new partner over here with me who at first was also full of enthusiasm.
Anyway, a major fact in me wanting to return home is that I want to escape my family (with the exception of my nanna). I know I could go to another state but I just don't want to. I love the fact that it takes 24 hrs and the rest for my mother to come and see me. I like having a relationship with her over the phone. I like that I can eat what I want and put weight on without her casting her critical gaze over me - you know the one, the one only mother's can pull and its like a secret signal that only you and your mother know but god its deadly! I like to sleep in until 10am on the weekend, read the papers and have breakfast in bed without her creeping past the door to see if I'm awake. The funny thing is that I'm 28 not 16!!!
I have no regrets at all, I've always had that element of 'I wonder what its like over there' and I have had all the opportunities offered to me on a plate to make the whole experience easier but at the end of the day Oz isn't home to me. I miss the dark winters, I miss the cold and the rain, I know Oz has this too but I just miss the UK. I'm not going to critisize Oz and say how fab the old country is, every country in the world has its good and bad points but for me personally, the good points in the UK outweigh the bad points in Oz.
The masterplan that has been set in motion now is for me to get a decent paying job by Feb and if successful, save as much money as possible whilst living rather cheaply over here. Sell the house in the UK, split the profits with my ex partner. Get another good job back home and then buy a house with my current partner. If I don't get a decent job over here by Feb then we go home earlier yay!
Luckily I haven't lost out financially and I truely feel for those people that are trapped and want to return but can't due to financial reasons, my heart goes out to you.
Blimey, this is an extremely long message, I'm almost proud of myself!!!I really have no idea why I wanted to share this with you but I have and I feel good that I have. I'm really looking forward to having a 'normal' relationship with my mother, once I'm back in the UK and she stays all the way over here...
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Old Jan 11th 2006, 10:25 am
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Default Re: Anyone in this situation?

kelusa, thats a really good posting!
since ive been in oz, i have been strange as i got q depressed at the beginning. my sister (bless her) hopped on a plane cos she was worried about me, stayed a week now rings every night virtually. its driving me nuts - i sound like an ungrateful cow...but its so stiffling. i keep saying to my OH that we need to move back to our country to get away from the people who suffocate us when we're not in their country! she'll leave me alone if i was 20mins away! its sounds like you have been independant from your mum etc for so long, and that suits you. its unsettling when family dynamics change - dont blame you for feeling as you do! good luck with your new partner and a bit more of a normal life in the uk! c x
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Old Jan 11th 2006, 3:38 pm
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Default Re: Anyone in this situation?

What a lovely honest post Kelusa. How long have you been living in Oz now?
It sounds like going home would be a good thing for you, what a shame your Nana is also in Oz, did she go because of your mother too?
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