Shiralee

Since we made the decision to move back to Scotland we have come across only negative feedback from those we have told here in Australia. Most ex-pats seem to have many woeful tales to tell of friends who have repatriated back to the Uk only to wind up back in Australia within months after realising that they had made a wrong, and costly, move. Although we feel we have made the right decision to move back to the UK after long, hard consideration, it would still be reassuring to hear from others who have made the move, or know those who have, and are happy they did.

dugongs

Thats all we hear as well but we never actually get to speak or meet all these many people that moved back to UK and then were so appalled by the country they were born in and lived in for most of their life that they moved straight back to Oz.

The other variety on this yarn is the ones that have apparently moved back to UK and really miss Oz and would love to come back but just cant face the move.

I've been here 5 years and not met any of them. My wife's mother who likes to tell these tails frequently has lived in Oz most of her adult life and can only name one actual person and they are of the variety that they have moved back and really hate it and would love to come back to Oz but cant face moving again !

I'm far too cynical I know but where are all these people ??? I think this tale is just another twist on the Australia is wonderful mantra spouted to anybody that will listen regardless of the truth.

Herman

If it makes you feel better, here's a list of the people I know:

Brother - came to Oz for a year, stayed a while longer and told everyone he had emigrated. Got fed up with Sydney and moved to Perth. Got fed up with Perth and moved to Brisbane. Got fed up with Brisbane and returned to the family fold in South Glos. That was 5 years ago and the only time he regrets it is when he is freezing his nuts off trying to surf in Cornwall's icy waters. Apart from that he swears he'll never return to Oz ("dull" is his catchword)

My step sister has not actually returned from Oz yet, but she has lived on the Gold Coast for 5 years (due to pressure from her husband to stay) but she has wanted to return since day 1 and swears that the bigger house does not compensate her for loss of family and friends.

I worked with an Aussie in London who came from the Brisbane office of my firm 5 years earlier. Both he and his Brisbane born wife swore they would never return to Australia and told me "you'll be back".

Another guy in my team in London came from the Sydney office 3 years earlier. His comments were similar, although he concedes that he may retire to Australia.

There was yet another guy in my team who is from a very wealthy family in Sydney. He has just bought a flat in London and tells me the desire to return builds up and up, then he returns for a visit and realises he's been idealising the place and he changes his mind again. He also bet me that I would be back.

I know many other people who have been here doing the backpacker thing and returned saying its a great place to visit but not sure about living here. Hope this helps!

Watt Dabney

Hi

I have no opinion on wether people should stay or go its a personal thing, but I do know of someone who went back to the uk and hated it. A work friend of my husbands went to OZ as a £10 pom, he and his wife stayed for about 10yrs and had 2 kids there. His wife was never happy and pushed to go home which they eventually did. She loved being back, he hated it. Even though they were succesfull in the Uk, came back at the right time in the property market and had their own business in a pretty sleepy village. He always told my husband that his heart was in Oz and would go back go back at the drop of a hat but his wife wouldn't budge. Unfortunately he died a few years ago and never did make it back 'home'.
People should follow their heart, only you know what feels right for you, even if that means going backwards and forwards a few times to be sure. Only time it should be a problem is if one of you wants to stay and the other wants to go.

Paula

captaincook

I would have thought that any brit living in oz for longer than a few years will understand your decision. For most Brits it is probably the right decision given the limited opportunities Oz presents.

The only thing oz is good for is a holiday and making you realise on balance after a few years the uk ain't that bad after all. i certainly don't wont to bring my (future) kids up in oz. there just is'nt enough opportunity for them here. Education standards are poor unless you go private ! Health care costs high. Work conditions are victorian so I would'nt spent much time with them. Taxes are too high for middle earners. Family are too far away and given the limited holidays you can't visit There just is'nt enough to do after a few years. Plus ironically I find the sun an issue given the skin cancer here (so many people have it in Qld it's a huge issue).

I can however understand people that came here as £10 poms 20/30 years ago saying such things. Most of these you meet seem to think that UK has stayed the same since they boarded the boat/plane and therefore Oz is so much more advanced now ! Most of those guys though were really stuck here and made the best of it. We've had people tell us what a melon is (!!!) as they assumed all food in the Uk was tinned. Another said that they had heard all people in the Uk had tatoos. How bloody weird is that. Do these people live in a bubble or what !

bussie

right so im in the process of moving to oz have my flights booked for the 20th July and i read this section thanks guys for the support now i dont know what the fook im doing im going anyway just hope everything goes ok

Herman

If you are fed up with your life in the UK, then who's to say you are doing the wrong or right thing. Who knows what opportunities you may get in Oz - nobody. Just get on with it, have a go and if you decide its not what you want then move on. At least you will have had a go and like they say - you'll never know until you try. Just please try not to be one of the prats who is still in the UK and goes on about how amazing Australia is, how crap the UK is and belittling anyone who decides to return to the UK. We all have different priorities and preferences, whats right for one is not always right for another.

bussie

dont know were you got that from i carnt see me belittling anyone about returning to the uk ????????

Yorkieabroad

I'm not in Aus, but saw this as more of a ‘moving to the UK’ than ‘leaving Aus’ question, but if its not just tell me to butt out and I will.

Just about everything you read about expatriation will tell you that the return home is more often than not more difficult than the initial move out. The excitements over, its back to the ‘real world’ and so on. And I'm afraid that was definitely true for us.

I was in Singapore for 7 years or so, and loved most of it. It had wrinkles same as everywhere else, but on the whole, life was good. But I always 'knew' that I didn't want to stay there forever. So eventually I took a company move back to London. And I was one of those that was shocked by the transition - it was definitely a lot harder than the initial move out of the UK.

For a start I missed that "jolt" that I used to get in Singapore saying "hey you're somewhere different now, exciting isn't it?". Maybe that jolt had faded over the years from almost hourly to start with, to perhaps weekly or more towards the end, but it was still there, and still felt good when it kicked in - like the rush from a good espresso (not starbucks!). And then back in London all of a sudden its gone forever (?)

And having been away for that long, surprise surprise, things had changed! Yes, the usual stuff, prices had gone up (esp housing, but luckily I was hedged on that), transport hassle seemed worse than I remembered etc etc, but also people seemed...err...dull...everyone seemed stuck in their own little ruts from colleagues still crunching the same jobs as a decade ago to friends in the same house / car / job / 3 pints down the local on a saturday night / 2 weeks in spain etc etc. ie exactly how I had been. Even with close friends, I found I had to be careful not to sound as if I was boasting about my time in Singapore, and what we’d got up to.

But I think the main shock was the drop in “quality of life� (extremely long hours, the horrors of commuting, and so on), coupled with increased cost of living, especially in London. I lasted 4 months, then left again. I guess to be fair I should have given it longer, and I’d probably have got used to it, but the point was I didn’t want to get used to it again. We found out we were going to start a family, and that was the final straw – for us London isn’t the place to be with a young family (assuming you want to see them more than weekends!). We were lucky - our specific circumstances gave us the opportunity to leave with minimal cost, so we took it.

But as one of the earlier posters said, its all a very personal decision, and also I belive an individuals/family's circusmtances and prioritites change over time as well. Its not right for us back there now, but I certainly would not write off the UK, and still see us being back there some time down the line, but just not in London – a return to Yorkshire would be more desirable and perhaps more likely. I’ll just have to wait and see whether that will be more realistic or not......

Herman

My wife and know only too well that this exactly what will happen to us when we return to London from Sydney in 2 months time. We are anticipating a period of depression. However, we have found a way that we think will help us get through - we have an escape route from London planned after 12 months. We are planning to start a business, not in the UK but in my wife's country (Czech Republic), which will involve us living in deepest Bavarian countryside. If that fails we have a back plan that also involves significant change, albeit still remaining in the UK. Either way, we will merely be 'using' London as a rather miserable means to get some more cash together for a year. I think without some kind of plan to fundamentally change your way of life back home, it would be too depressing for words. I reckon returning ex pats should think long and hard about what they hated about their lives in the UK before they left, and if its in their power to change these things then do it.

Shiralee

I agree entirely that you can never really "go back", it's detrimental to the psyche to feel that you are going backwards rather than progressing forward. With this in mind we are moving back to Scotland to live far enough away from where we grew up to feel like a new start but close enough to be able to visit friends and family there whenever we choose. We have led a very simple life here, unencumbered by all the pettiness that happens within families, so I think we'd find it difficult to slot back into that again. Living Abroad as a family makes for very strong bonds within that unit and I wouldn't want to jeopardise that by being too close to home.
We lost the buzz of Australia a long time ago and want to create a new one, not only for us but also for our two children. We want them to experience the buzz of having Grandparents drop by to ask if they want to go away for the day (with the added bonus of ourselves getting a break to be.....ourselves!) or the excitement of having cousins stay and big family get-togethers. It's almost become an obscene notion to me that we have a loving family there who adore our children yet here we are at the other side of the world from them. I also think the fact that the most fun and laughter we've shared with people here has been when friends and family have visited from home speaks volumes. Life is all about relationships and what you make of them. I've been in the most beautiful parts of the world but without the right people it's been pretty ordinary, yet with the right people in some of the worst places I've had the most memorable experiences.
We're well aware of all the negatives of the UK but feel that the people more than make up for that. I must add that having spent some lengthy holidays back home I also found that friends there are living very fulfilled lives and doing very well for themselves, contrary to the picture painted by most posters on this forum.
The beauty of having lived overseas also means that if things don't go well an escape route isn't such a daunting prospect. I want to give my children some stability in life but if, after giving it a few years there, we decide it's not for us then we'll look ahead to pastures new, perhaps within the UK or in Europe but definately not Australia.....been there, well and truly done that.

muppetking

Hitting the nail on the head springs to mind reading your posting! I am pretty sick of hearing how bad things are in the UK. We returned for 6 weeks and found it stimulating, refreshing and enlightening. Yes it has problems....big deal. Find me country that doesn't! Living abroad has just left us feeling that the grass aint always greener

Jaykay

Hi Shiralee

I'm in the same position, but totally reversed (if that makes sense). I currently live in the UK with my partner (who's English) and our 4 year old daughter. His family also live in the UK but there are no other children (or grandchildren) in his immediate family, and his cousins and their kids aren't very close.

However here in Australia there are cousins, aunts, uncles and another set of grandparents who all live quite close to each other. My daughter is absolutely loving it out here (we're on a 3 week holiday currently) especially being able to go and play with her cousins almost any time that we have available. Seeing her last weekend at a family BBQ with all the kids playing and also being part of the family environment (which I don't really have in the UK) makes me realise that Australia is really where I want her (and me!!) to be.

Herman

Your thoughts are in exactly the same place as ours.
I have been to some of the most stunning places in the world in my past but I was either alone or felt alone. The best time of my life was camping with my wife in a run down little campsite in the pouring rain in Wales.
Sunshine can not warm and scenery loses its colour if one is feeling cold and isolated on the inside.

Shiralee

I think that really is the key Herman. When I look back at the last five years I've spent here the underlying emotion with everything I've done has been loneliness. Alone is not lonely rings true, although I've been in situations where I've been surrounded by friends here I've always felt somewhat isolated.
My husband and I are both social creatures, we crave stimulating, spirited conversation - we enjoy the thrill of a good "debate" over the dinner table but find that here we're just not politically correct enough, it's hard to find anyone opinionated and passionate enough to make a stand on anything and give away something of themselves. In fairness to Australians there is probably a fair amount of ego and arrogance attached on our part but good conversation provides lifes entertainment and personally I feel stifled here.