I'm in a real dilemma. We moved out to Oz in August this year and basically I hated it as soon as I arrived. If I'm totally honest, I never really wanted to come but felt I had no choice. DH is tied into a 3yr contract so there is no way he will be able to leave here til 2011. I know I can't stay here that long - it's making me miserable beyond belief! The original plan was for me and our 2 children to return to the UK xmas 2009 and for my DH to visit home as often as we can afford. But I'm not sure I can even stay here for another year. Things just seem to go from bad to worse. we are in the middle of nowhere in a really horrible mining town. The locals are not really the sort I'd choose to mix with. Last week we discovered that there has ben attempted child abductions in our housing area - infact it happened at the school bus stop about 100yds from our front door. Yesterday we discovered a nest of red backs in the garden and today we discovered that there is a community needle disposal unit in the toilets at the kids play park!

Our children are 3yrs and 1yr and I am really worried what effect it will have on them seeing very little of there father for the next 2yrs. DH and I are used to be apart for up to 6mths because of his job but it will still be very hard. The plan is for me and the children to move in with my Mum initially and possibly stay there until DH moves back home. So at least I will have help and support from family.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?? I just don't know what to do for the best. Being here is so depressing for me and that can't be good for the children either!

Where you live sounds horrible - is it Moranbah or somewhere like that?
(Shudders)
What is the deal for your husband if he breaks his contract early?
Do you cop a financial penalty?
Is there work for him in the UK?

We are in Singleton NSW. If DH breaks the contract we would need to pay back all the relocations costs - we don't have that sort of money.

The choice we have is - I stay and be miserable for 3yrs or I take the kids back home and they only see Daddy about twice a year for the next couple of years. Just trying to figure out which is fairer on the kids.

Sounds like a hell of a place.

Just thinking outside the square, perhaps one option for you might be to consider moving with the kids to somewhere a bit more civilised but in the same state as your husband, until his contract finishes.

That way at least he could visit you once a week say, on his days off, so you wouldn't have to seperate yourself and the kids from him for 2 years.

Otherwise, as suggested in the last post, can your husband break his 3 year contract and you all move back home?

OK understood.

Reason I asked is that if OH skills are seriously in demand it is sometimes possible to negotiate with the new employer to buy out the golden handcuffs from his current contract - they have to want him bad so it depends what he does.

Can you guys get away for weekends to go somewhere nice eg Hunter Valley Central Coast for a sanity break or is your OH tied up working the whole time?

We looked at the option of moving to another area but the house we live in is partially funded by DH employer. They won't pay for us to live in another area. This would mean that any money earmarked for savings to get home would get used up and therefore we risk still being stuck here even after the 3yrs is up.

He's Army - enough said

we tried going away for weekends when we first arrived but agian it was costing so much money that we weren't able to save anything for the "get home " fund. It's all catch 22 unfortunately.

That's horrible to be trapped like that, I do sympathise.

As noble of your OH to volunteer that you can take the kids and leave him to do the time, that is a bit unfair on him. Is there anything you can do to improve things there or is it truly without any mitigating qualities? (I don't know I have never been there) Can you get a job to make some cash so you can leave sooner (and also be meeting people whilst you are at work).

Ah he's Army, did he transfer to the ADF or is it an exchange posting?

Transfer.

I really feel for you and your family. Its a horrible situation to be in with limited, if any, options to get out. Maybe you could post something on the BE Australia forum to see if there are any other expats nearby who you could meet up with for some moral support while you figure out what to do?

Oh no, he has a return of service obligation then, sorry I was thinking he was on the mines at first.

Sorry to say this but unfortunately life as a military wife in Aus, it is still the 1950's (take it from one who has been there in your shoes).

You may have to learn to enjoy Tupperware parties and the like if you want to make any pals through your OH's work, I have found I have nothing much in common with most of the wives, and you may well feel the same by the sounds of it.

Dunno about posting on the main BE for expat pals either, there would be nothing worse than a Godzoners zeal to make OP feel worse about being there.

Have you considered anti-depressants, they can really work wonders, join a gym which has a creche, take advantage of the subsidised childcare that the military provide to get some work (if there are any jobs in Singleton?) a couple of days a week.