nooj

I think I have just had a bit of a social car crash.

Nice Pool Mom invited me to meet up with her and some of her chums at our neighbourhood pool for a few hours with the kids. We got there a bit early so my 2 girls were playing in the pool. Little one was holding a twig and standing on the side while she pretended to "fish" older one from the water.

Gucci Shades mom arrives and sits down a few loungers away. After a few moments she comes over to me and says " are those your kids? because I'm really worried about that stick, its going to go in someones eye etc etc.." Just to note- other children were NOWHERE NEAR and in any event Gucci junior was wearing wraparound goggles!!!

I said "oh are you?" and proceed to remove small twig from my child causing great crying and hollering- whilst I proceeded to mutter loudly about the "self appointed health and safety officer."

Needless to say, Nice Pool Mom arrives shortly afterwards and of course, Gucci Shades Mom is one of the people I'm supposed to be meeting...
After an tense introduction Gucci Shades Mom explains that she's sorry she should have introduced herself first, its just that her father is a consultant opthamologist so she worries about eyes!!! I agree that it doesn't really matter at all and of course I understand that as americans are always suing each other it must make you somewhat paranoid.

Not a good start I now feel. Husband who is in HR and cares about these things told me that I hadn't appreciated the different cultural context- but I don't think thats fair. I did change my response to meet the culture- if it had happened in London I'd have told her to F***k off - so thats progress

cindyabs

Did you say that to her? "I agree that it doesn't really matter at all and of course I understand that as americans are always suing each other it must make you somewhat paranoid".

Leslie

Ask CPS if all American parents are over protective.

sambapink

How long have you been here? I only ask because I remember having a similar attitude about many things when I was first here. I really did think I was being tolerant and it was more to do with the Americans doing everything arse-ways.. As time goes on you begin to realise that in fact you (me) were not being tolerant at all, and just finding things to have a go at..

Just my experiance, of course

Ridski

Not all of them, but it is becoming more prevalent. One of the terms used is that of helicopter parents, ones that are constantly hovering around their kids to make sure they're okay.

The opposite is Free Range kids. Something that most of us were used to growing up, but is quickly disappearing, so fast in fact, that it is becoming a phenomenon, rather than the rule.

Try reading Lenore Skenazy's blog about the subject.

Everything sounds cool here. There's a lot of crazy in the world, but some common sense can help you through it.

Now try reading the comments that came after she made an appearance on Fox & Friends and discover the truth about American parenting.

Here's one of my favorite comments...

"I think it is absolutely crazy to allow kids to roam freely; Sadly, it is not the same world…evil lurks everywhere and too many children are victims. I can’t believe there was even a conversation about this. Where is common sense?"

Of course, Americans are by no means exclusive in this "think of the children" world, and there was only article last week about how UK schools are switching to clip-on ties in case they get caught in something.

When there's really no actual danger, the perception of danger can make people do some funny things...

YoungSteve17

Should have poked her in the eye with the stick

Ash UK/US

nethead

another bloody yank

I just bought my son a machete. I told him to keep it in the sheath until he actually needed to use it, so I guess maybe I am a little over protective.

YoungSteve17

Actually i just remembered a story which is very relevant tot his post.

I was at friends graduation party on the 17th and a girl there gave her hyperactive 14 month old kid some Budweiser. So no not all American parents are over protective. Yes, the kid did calm down after a few sips.

Englishtart

Watch he doesn't poke his eye out with that!

another bloody yank

I told him to keep the visor on his crash helmet down.

cindyabs

no worry, I heard you have your lawyer's number on speed dial.

Mummy in the foothills

I tend to be the helicopter parent at the pool, only cause I nearly drowned myself as a small child and remember it clearly. Other than that I like the free range kind of kids. But that said Dd is 4 and I lock her in as she hasn't got the common sense she should have been born with. So we lock the side gates and keep her close. As she'll wander off with anyone who smiles at her.
As for the Gucci mom, If she'd have commented to me about the stick, I'd have probably said, Oh they are fine, I'll take it when others are here to play.
I find a lot of US moms can be a tad pushy, they seem to assume you have no parenting skills unless you do it all their way.

Leslie

I think it has to do with social class. If you're an upwardly mobile social climbing type, too much of you image is tied up in your kids which leads to neurotic behavior. If you are poor or just not interested in all of that nonsense you tend to be more laid back about your kids. I know plenty of parents that don't obsess over their kids or compete is some imaginary parenting olympics. As a matter of fact, none of my friends who are parents act like the person described above, but I know they exist and have had brief exposure to them. I would say the OP probably really did meet an annoying pain in the ass ... she just needs to avoid people like that.