6 Months Back in UK - Update
Jun 22nd 2011, 11:24 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 41
6 Months Back in UK - Update
I have now been back in UK six months with my OH now also back for two months.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
Jun 22nd 2011, 8:57 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 69
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
I have now been back in UK six months with my OH now also back for two months.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
Jun 22nd 2011, 11:30 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,139
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
I had the same problem many months ago, and it turns out that the computer read applications need to have the relevant keywords for the job. The more keywords used in your CV, the better the chance of making the first cut. Also, the email address you use must not reflect anything that smacks of your age - mine uses the US dating system: 1031, which looks as though I was born in October 1931! Which is not at all true, it is just a date of significance to me. So I had to create a new email account just to get away from that problem. So it's keywords and email addresses that are looked at. If all fails, you could get free help from a CV writing organisation in your town (yes, I understand your frustration - you have been the trainer in NZ, but now you are the trainee here). Keywords such as: trained, maintained, increased - the positive ones - like you are applying for a CEO position.
I notice the same things here in Frome, though maybe not to the extent that you do, as this is a small town. I pick up litter as I pass it, and put it into the litter bins, of which there are plenty. But cigarette butts I do not - and there seem to be an endless supply of those - hundreds each day. The sole street-sweeper cannot possibly keep up. Pride IS lacking, there is no doubt about that. I hear people say that they pay Council tax so the council should do ...... (fill in the blanks) as they don't intend to, nor do they think they should, do whatever it is that needs to be done to make the place nicer. Lazy, in my opinion. They need a dose of overseas living to shape up, but that's probably not going to happen. Some people do complain a lot, many don't. The school children have foul language, there is too much drinking, and there must be enough disposable income as the pubs are filled each night, and with cigarettes costing about £6 a packet - the money has to come from somewhere.
I notice the same things here in Frome, though maybe not to the extent that you do, as this is a small town. I pick up litter as I pass it, and put it into the litter bins, of which there are plenty. But cigarette butts I do not - and there seem to be an endless supply of those - hundreds each day. The sole street-sweeper cannot possibly keep up. Pride IS lacking, there is no doubt about that. I hear people say that they pay Council tax so the council should do ...... (fill in the blanks) as they don't intend to, nor do they think they should, do whatever it is that needs to be done to make the place nicer. Lazy, in my opinion. They need a dose of overseas living to shape up, but that's probably not going to happen. Some people do complain a lot, many don't. The school children have foul language, there is too much drinking, and there must be enough disposable income as the pubs are filled each night, and with cigarettes costing about £6 a packet - the money has to come from somewhere.
Jun 23rd 2011, 12:52 am
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,375
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
I have now been back in UK six months with my OH now also back for two months.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
My reason for moving back was that my parents and both our children are in the UK. Mainly it is the ageing parents who are getting more dependent that is the issue as the children have their own lives and careers. I am an only child so there is simply nobody else to look after parents now in their 80s and 90s.
We are finding it very hard and unable to settle. Neither of us have the heart to buy a house because we just can't find it in ourselves to commit and we are worried about losing more of our life savings if property prices fall. My husband says he can never find any enthusiasm for buying a place in UK as he just doesn't belong here.
I find it hard but know the alternative, ie life back in NZ, is still to feel unsettled and waiting for that phone call when I have to spend months back in UK to sort things and to continue using all my wages and leave on long haul flights to see family so there is no perfect way. My oh never flew back to UK as he never wanted to and took the view his family could fly out to see him instead (great for the young but not possible for the 80/90s year olds).
We have both struggled hugely to find work - I have 15 hours on a temporary contract and my oh has 16 hours a week on minimum wage. We are just about managing living very frugally. In NZ we both had good paying jobs but here we are unable to get back in to our respective industries due to the recession and the volume of applicants. We are also eary 50s which isnt ideal in the workplace.
There is a lot of online application forms and tests here now as the first step in job applications and we have both been rejected by the initial computer selection in our respective industries which is laughable really. We have so much to offer with 20 yrs experience and fabulous references but get thwarted by computers on selection criteria!
The best auto generated failed to meet the criteria that we had was that we were not allowed to reapply to the same organisation for six months so that we had time to gain more experience!!!! We have both been trainers in our respective fields too!!!! I wrote and sent CV etc to this organisation suggesting this computer selection was missing good candidates but no response. Wish companies still used actual real people to do their recruitment.
My husband now feels that we have 'given up our lives' for my parents - that we sit in a empty cold house with no money whilst they have a comfortable home and where they want to be. On face value this is true. He feels we should be setting ourselves up for retirement at this point in life not giving up well paid jobs. This doesnt help my situation with ageing parents - I take the view that we have some work and things will sort out eventually.
Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around.
Where are the working middle classes with pride in their homes and towns that I remember from just six years back.
Non-expats I try and say this to just dont understand the changes as they I suppose have lived through them.
What has happened to England? Our clean streets and parks and our pride - I hate to say it and always defended it to the last but now I find it hard to defend.
It would have been so much easier if we had never gone to NZ in so many ways !!! We did have a great house and great jobs but now we seem stuck in no mans land and I feel I want to go back but for ageing parents responsibilities I can't go back.
Life on hold.
No unemployment, chavs or whatever NZ has instead, no dirt, poverty, litter...... I thought the NZ economy was pretty dire too, but thats only from NZ'ers I live in OZ so dont really know.If so, and you can walk back into great jobs maybe you have to go back, but allow a few months more with your parents then explain you will be back every year. Despite the severe cost of airfares from OZ/NZ its what many have to do. The annual expensive and time consuming 48 hours in economy to catch up with family.
Not sure what other solution there is if things are so much better in NZ then maybe you have to do that.
Jun 23rd 2011, 1:57 am
#5
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: Gastown - East Van
Posts: 413
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
If you moved back to NZ would all the above social problems be solved. No unemployment, chavs or whatever NZ has instead, no dirt, poverty, litter...... I thought the NZ economy was pretty dire too, but thats only from NZ'ers I live in OZ so dont really know.
If so, and you can walk back into great jobs maybe you have to go back, but allow a few months more with your parents then explain you will be back every year. Despite the severe cost of airfares from OZ/NZ its what many have to do. The annual expensive and time consuming 48 hours in economy to catch up with family.
Not sure what other solution there is if things are so much better in NZ then maybe you have to do that.
No unemployment, chavs or whatever NZ has instead, no dirt, poverty, litter...... I thought the NZ economy was pretty dire too, but thats only from NZ'ers I live in OZ so dont really know.If so, and you can walk back into great jobs maybe you have to go back, but allow a few months more with your parents then explain you will be back every year. Despite the severe cost of airfares from OZ/NZ its what many have to do. The annual expensive and time consuming 48 hours in economy to catch up with family.
Not sure what other solution there is if things are so much better in NZ then maybe you have to do that.
Jun 23rd 2011, 2:28 am
#6
Banned
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: The REAL Utopia.
Posts: 9,910
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
"Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around."
Wow, where on earth are you living ? It does sound dreadful. I must say that when I was in the UK last year I didnt see any of that but I was in the South. The last time I was asked for money in the street was here in Brisbane. Sounds like you need to get away from where you are and move to one of the many nice areas.
Wow, where on earth are you living ? It does sound dreadful. I must say that when I was in the UK last year I didnt see any of that but I was in the South. The last time I was asked for money in the street was here in Brisbane. Sounds like you need to get away from where you are and move to one of the many nice areas.
Jun 23rd 2011, 4:08 am
#7
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
"Family aside we both feel very depressed with all the litter everywhere here and the general untidyness of the towns and cities as well as very depressed and unfit looking people. Every time we go out of our house we get asked for money and there seem a lot of drop outs in the streets and parks drinking alcohol. Seems no pride in the country. There seems to be a larger number of people what I think they call 'chavs' or jeremy kyle show sort of people around."
Wow, where on earth are you living ? It does sound dreadful. I must say that when I was in the UK last year I didnt see any of that but I was in the South. The last time I was asked for money in the street was here in Brisbane. Sounds like you need to get away from where you are and move to one of the many nice areas.
Wow, where on earth are you living ? It does sound dreadful. I must say that when I was in the UK last year I didnt see any of that but I was in the South. The last time I was asked for money in the street was here in Brisbane. Sounds like you need to get away from where you are and move to one of the many nice areas.
Jun 23rd 2011, 6:39 am
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Phibun Mangsahan Ubon Province Thailand.
Posts: 1,073
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
She commented ''They are living in the Wrong Place''
Are you sure you cannot move away a litle, then travel in to see your family?
We both, have holidayed around the UK, and yes, everyday living costs are very high, but we feel sure you could be doing better. Regards Don
Jun 23rd 2011, 6:57 am
#9
Home Sweet Home
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Surrey, England
Posts: 5,128
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
I was also wondering where you live that you have been hit on by people asking for money?
I have been back here for 4 months now and that hasn't happened to me at all even though I am living in the "grim North", well except for people selling "The Big Issue" but that isn't the same thing at all.
Funnily enough I was in Antwerp last week and got approached by at least 4 or 5 people in the street asking for money or cigarettes in just 3 days and also saw people sitting on the kerb begging.......
And as for the chavs I see no more or less here than I did in Australia.........
I have been back here for 4 months now and that hasn't happened to me at all even though I am living in the "grim North", well except for people selling "The Big Issue" but that isn't the same thing at all.
Funnily enough I was in Antwerp last week and got approached by at least 4 or 5 people in the street asking for money or cigarettes in just 3 days and also saw people sitting on the kerb begging.......
And as for the chavs I see no more or less here than I did in Australia.........
Jun 23rd 2011, 5:37 pm
#10
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,816
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
I was also wondering where you live that you have been hit on by people asking for money?
I have been back here for 4 months now and that hasn't happened to me at all even though I am living in the "grim North", well except for people selling "The Big Issue" but that isn't the same thing at all.
Funnily enough I was in Antwerp last week and got approached by at least 4 or 5 people in the street asking for money or cigarettes in just 3 days and also saw people sitting on the kerb begging.......
And as for the chavs I see no more or less here than I did in Australia.........
I have been back here for 4 months now and that hasn't happened to me at all even though I am living in the "grim North", well except for people selling "The Big Issue" but that isn't the same thing at all.
Funnily enough I was in Antwerp last week and got approached by at least 4 or 5 people in the street asking for money or cigarettes in just 3 days and also saw people sitting on the kerb begging.......
And as for the chavs I see no more or less here than I did in Australia.........
Jun 23rd 2011, 5:47 pm
#11
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
Before making the huge move back to NZ I'd try another area in UK it's a lot cheaper to do than move back to NZ and it would be easier to get to your parents if they had an emergency.
You OH has only been there 8 weeks, more like a bit of a holiday really, hardly enough time for anything.
If you look for problems, rubbish, chavs, dowdy people then you'll find them. You sound a wee bit depressed and moving in that state seems like a huge mistake. Get over the move, settle a bit, work a bit, make some friends, then start list making and deciding logically what you need to do, instead of a knee jerk reaction to things not all falling into place the way you want it to immediately.
No one said life was easy, you just get on with it and find some joy where you can.
You OH has only been there 8 weeks, more like a bit of a holiday really, hardly enough time for anything.
If you look for problems, rubbish, chavs, dowdy people then you'll find them. You sound a wee bit depressed and moving in that state seems like a huge mistake. Get over the move, settle a bit, work a bit, make some friends, then start list making and deciding logically what you need to do, instead of a knee jerk reaction to things not all falling into place the way you want it to immediately.
No one said life was easy, you just get on with it and find some joy where you can.
Jun 23rd 2011, 6:28 pm
#12
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,198
Re: 6 Months Back in UK - Update
I really sympathise with you, truly I do. You've already made one huge, life-changing decision that - may or may not - have been the wrong one. And now you feel it's time to make yet another decision. I have no advice or words of wisdom, but I may suggest that you give it some more time.
I'm American; my husband is British. We lived here 7 years ago, then moved to the States for 6 years. Now we're back. Many things here have changed (for the worse) in the time we were away, but even our infrequent holidays back to the UK prepared us, somewhat, as to what we might expect when we moved back.
You may be in a particularly gloomy part of the country, but many of the things you mention are, to some extent, fairly prevelent no matter where you are in the UK.
My husband and I had several reasons for moving back and, fortunately, family wasn't one of them. We know the positive things that we moved back for - and we just have to ignore (to the extent possible) the negative things that tend to bombard us daily.
We left excellent paying jobs in the US to move here, and it took us each 5 months to find jobs. (I'm still a temp.) We're not earning peanuts, but we're definitely not earning anything "to write home about" and are at the bottom of the food chain compared to where we were in the States. But regardless, the positives (the things we moved back for) still outweigh the negatives.
I will be honest and say that yes, on some days, we get a bit down (annoyed) with some of the crap we see around us .... but then we visit a National Trust property, eat at our favourite chippy, or pop in to the local tearoom, and we are once again reminded about the things we love about life in England.
I hope that you and your husband will be able to find the silver lining because I do believe it's there. You're just in a dark place at the moment (been there, done that), and it's difficult - I know - it's difficult.
We're all here for you - not to convince you to stay, but to help you weigh it all out.
Please keep us posted. Now then, why not put the kettle on?
I'm American; my husband is British. We lived here 7 years ago, then moved to the States for 6 years. Now we're back. Many things here have changed (for the worse) in the time we were away, but even our infrequent holidays back to the UK prepared us, somewhat, as to what we might expect when we moved back.
You may be in a particularly gloomy part of the country, but many of the things you mention are, to some extent, fairly prevelent no matter where you are in the UK.
My husband and I had several reasons for moving back and, fortunately, family wasn't one of them. We know the positive things that we moved back for - and we just have to ignore (to the extent possible) the negative things that tend to bombard us daily.
We left excellent paying jobs in the US to move here, and it took us each 5 months to find jobs. (I'm still a temp.) We're not earning peanuts, but we're definitely not earning anything "to write home about" and are at the bottom of the food chain compared to where we were in the States. But regardless, the positives (the things we moved back for) still outweigh the negatives.
I will be honest and say that yes, on some days, we get a bit down (annoyed) with some of the crap we see around us .... but then we visit a National Trust property, eat at our favourite chippy, or pop in to the local tearoom, and we are once again reminded about the things we love about life in England.
I hope that you and your husband will be able to find the silver lining because I do believe it's there. You're just in a dark place at the moment (been there, done that), and it's difficult - I know - it's difficult.
We're all here for you - not to convince you to stay, but to help you weigh it all out.
Please keep us posted. Now then, why not put the kettle on?
Jun 23rd 2011, 6:29 pm
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Phibun Mangsahan Ubon Province Thailand.
Posts: 1,073
Re: 6 Months Bank in UK - Update
Before making the huge move back to NZ I'd try another area in UK it's a lot cheaper to do than move back to NZ and it would be easier to get to your parents if they had an emergency.
You OH has only been there 8 weeks, more like a bit of a holiday really, hardly enough time for anything.
If you look for problems, rubbish, chavs, dowdy people then you'll find them. You sound a wee bit depressed and moving in that state seems like a huge mistake. Get over the move, settle a bit, work a bit, make some friends, then start list making and deciding logically what you need to do, instead of a knee jerk reaction to things not all falling into place the way you want it to immediately.
No one said life was easy, you just get on with it and find some joy where you can.
You OH has only been there 8 weeks, more like a bit of a holiday really, hardly enough time for anything.
If you look for problems, rubbish, chavs, dowdy people then you'll find them. You sound a wee bit depressed and moving in that state seems like a huge mistake. Get over the move, settle a bit, work a bit, make some friends, then start list making and deciding logically what you need to do, instead of a knee jerk reaction to things not all falling into place the way you want it to immediately.
No one said life was easy, you just get on with it and find some joy where you can.
Jun 23rd 2011, 10:12 pm
#14
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Leicester UK
Posts: 793
Re: 6 Months Back in UK - Update
Great emails DDL and mummy and everyone offering advice, to the OP please come back often you will get lots of support from those who have done it and about to do it.
Jun 24th 2011, 7:19 am
#15
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Torbay, North Shore
Posts: 744
Re: 6 Months Back in UK - Update
HI FF
Your story mirrors ours exactly we oved in 2008 from Cornwall to Wellington NZ we lasted 17 months and returned we stayed in the UK 7 months I must have applied for hundreds of jobs in that time and at least 30 interviews I could not even get a job in Tescos ! being the main bread winner this was hard and saving dwindeld. We decided to give NZ another truy within a month I secured a really good job in Auckland somewhere I never thought I would go as I am a country bumpkin.
9 months on life is not bad but we are still homesick and miss the UK I know being in public sector accounting now is not the right time to move we need to build up reserves etc so we have told each other we will review in 2 years.
We also returned to be near family and only saw my Dad in the whole 7 months in the UK so we feel the rest can stuff it if we go back it will be for us and our son not any one else.
good luck with what ever you decide life is certainly a challenge
Your story mirrors ours exactly we oved in 2008 from Cornwall to Wellington NZ we lasted 17 months and returned we stayed in the UK 7 months I must have applied for hundreds of jobs in that time and at least 30 interviews I could not even get a job in Tescos ! being the main bread winner this was hard and saving dwindeld. We decided to give NZ another truy within a month I secured a really good job in Auckland somewhere I never thought I would go as I am a country bumpkin.
9 months on life is not bad but we are still homesick and miss the UK I know being in public sector accounting now is not the right time to move we need to build up reserves etc so we have told each other we will review in 2 years.
We also returned to be near family and only saw my Dad in the whole 7 months in the UK so we feel the rest can stuff it if we go back it will be for us and our son not any one else.
good luck with what ever you decide life is certainly a challenge