22 Years in Canada, still miserable
Apr 20th 2019, 3:07 pm
#1
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22 Years in Canada, still miserable
Husband came over as a sweet young thing in his 20s. I grabbed him as soon as his feet hit Canadian soil. We have been together 20 years.
Four young children later, we currently have two homes. Good to fantastic jobs. Loads of job flexibility. Good financial situation. Yet he is still not happy.
The winters here, the vast distances between cities, the lack of anything interesting to see or do in between cities, the heat and humidity of the summer, the ferocious mosquitoes, the lack of European culture, the utterly ugly, soul-crushing cityscape and lack of interesting architecture. We are in Ottawa, where I was born, and the city looks literally thrown together and like a Russian gulag-era exercise in architecture (touristy areas excepted).
He misses the sea. He misses travel to the continent. He misses Britain. All of it. The museums, the villages, the countryside, the people, the food, the gardening, York, Bath, the moors... everything.
I am also a dual British citizen through my mother. Our four children are also dual citizens. Looking to do a trial in the UK for a year (not London area) and then make up our minds. We would be in the situation of a semi-retirement or looking to ramp down our work commitments.
Looking for similar stories or experiences. Thank you in advance for any shared experience.
Four young children later, we currently have two homes. Good to fantastic jobs. Loads of job flexibility. Good financial situation. Yet he is still not happy.
The winters here, the vast distances between cities, the lack of anything interesting to see or do in between cities, the heat and humidity of the summer, the ferocious mosquitoes, the lack of European culture, the utterly ugly, soul-crushing cityscape and lack of interesting architecture. We are in Ottawa, where I was born, and the city looks literally thrown together and like a Russian gulag-era exercise in architecture (touristy areas excepted).
He misses the sea. He misses travel to the continent. He misses Britain. All of it. The museums, the villages, the countryside, the people, the food, the gardening, York, Bath, the moors... everything.
I am also a dual British citizen through my mother. Our four children are also dual citizens. Looking to do a trial in the UK for a year (not London area) and then make up our minds. We would be in the situation of a semi-retirement or looking to ramp down our work commitments.
Looking for similar stories or experiences. Thank you in advance for any shared experience.
Last edited by Lilipuddlian; Apr 20th 2019 at 3:13 pm.
Apr 20th 2019, 5:24 pm
#2
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Re: 22 Years in Canada, still miserable
We did something similar in 2011. We had been in the USA for 24 years, and our 2 adult children were settled, one living and working in the same town as us in Texas and our daughter living and working in Seattle.
We had retired in 2010 and decided to get the idea of moving back “home” out of our system so in 2011 we rented a house for 7 months in the town in England we had been happiest and where both our children had been born. We hadn’t lived in that town since 1985. It was awesome and we decided to spend a few years traveling and then set up a summer home in England so we could winter in Texas and spend most of our time in England. In 2016 we moved to England with a return trip to Texas booked early November. However, after 6 weeks back we decided to make it permanent and when we returned to Texas in November spent a couple of months selling up and made the move permanent when we returned in January.
We had retired in 2010 and decided to get the idea of moving back “home” out of our system so in 2011 we rented a house for 7 months in the town in England we had been happiest and where both our children had been born. We hadn’t lived in that town since 1985. It was awesome and we decided to spend a few years traveling and then set up a summer home in England so we could winter in Texas and spend most of our time in England. In 2016 we moved to England with a return trip to Texas booked early November. However, after 6 weeks back we decided to make it permanent and when we returned to Texas in November spent a couple of months selling up and made the move permanent when we returned in January.
Apr 26th 2019, 9:39 am
#3
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Re: 22 Years in Canada, still miserable
22 Years, you say this about your husband:
He misses the sea. He misses travel to the continent. He misses Britain. All of it. The museums, the villages, the countryside, the people, the food, the gardening, York, Bath, the moors... everything.
I can totally relate because this is exactly how I felt after 27 years in USA...and it got worse each year, not better, although I loved in a very nice place in USA and had good friends there.
So once my (USA) DH retired, we came back here to live. I have not regretted it (for myself) for one minute, I am so so happy to be back. These forums are full of similar stories, and if you look at the (now less active ) thread Over 40s Moving Back, on the Rovers return page about half-way down, you will see many stories of others who have wanted/have done this move later in life, at semi- or full retirement.
I think your idea of doing a trial first makes a lot of sense. Sometimes people find they can't settle back, though I doubt this will be the case with your husband. There's also the question of how you will feel....
You are extremely fortunate in that you and the children are all dual citizens, so no admin hassles on that front. Sounds like you're more than ready to come over and make that trial!
He misses the sea. He misses travel to the continent. He misses Britain. All of it. The museums, the villages, the countryside, the people, the food, the gardening, York, Bath, the moors... everything.
I can totally relate because this is exactly how I felt after 27 years in USA...and it got worse each year, not better, although I loved in a very nice place in USA and had good friends there.
So once my (USA) DH retired, we came back here to live. I have not regretted it (for myself) for one minute, I am so so happy to be back. These forums are full of similar stories, and if you look at the (now less active ) thread Over 40s Moving Back, on the Rovers return page about half-way down, you will see many stories of others who have wanted/have done this move later in life, at semi- or full retirement.
I think your idea of doing a trial first makes a lot of sense. Sometimes people find they can't settle back, though I doubt this will be the case with your husband. There's also the question of how you will feel....
You are extremely fortunate in that you and the children are all dual citizens, so no admin hassles on that front. Sounds like you're more than ready to come over and make that trial!
