some light humour
 

sorry if this is a repeat for any of you - thought it was hilarious! advice from viz apparently! does anyone know it you can buy viz here?

·�*Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

·�*Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a Chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f***ing thing in the first place.

·�*Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

·�*Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cake again.

·�*Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower.

·�*Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.

·�*Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

·�*Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your roof.

·�*Corsa drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so It may as well look like one.

·�*�*A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

·�*Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair

·�*At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers.

·�*Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

·�*Housewives. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

·�*Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on Boxing Day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

Re: some light humour
 

Not found anywhere selling it on shelves, but you can subscribe and have it delivered - www.viz.co.uk - worth every penny (Letterbocks are pure genius)!

Re: some light humour
 

excellent! thanks for that!

Re: some light humour
 

Yep I subscribe too. Am always amazed I get it though, knowing the restrictions here!!

Re: some light humour
 

Was surprised to see Catboy has a letter published this month!

Re: some light humour
 

Have you had a magazine since before Christmas? My brother bought G a subsciption to Viz for Christmas, but haven't received one as yet...

Re: some light humour
 

Yep, got one at end of Jan, however it takes a while for the subscription to be processed...took me two months to get my first copy.