Any regrets over moving?
Oct 20th 2009, 1:27 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Any regrets over moving?
As you may be aware from my previous posts I'm currently considering a move to Dubai / AD and am having real difficulty in deciding if this move is the right thing to do, my concern is more to do with lifestyle and settling in rather than financial issues.
I appreciate that everyone has different goals and what may be considered a great lifestyle by some is considered hell by others, but on balance what do those of you who are in the UAE make of it, do any of you regret having moved?
I appreciate that everyone has different goals and what may be considered a great lifestyle by some is considered hell by others, but on balance what do those of you who are in the UAE make of it, do any of you regret having moved?
Oct 20th 2009, 1:33 pm
#2
why ayeeeee man!
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Disco Gardens...
Posts: 11,370
Re: Any regrets over moving?
As you may be aware from my previous posts I'm currently considering a move to Dubai / AD and am having real difficulty in deciding if this move is the right thing to do, my concern is more to do with lifestyle and settling in rather than financial issues.
I appreciate that everyone has different goals and what may be considered a great lifestyle by some is considered hell by others, but on balance what do those of you who are in the UAE make of it, do any of you regret having moved?
I appreciate that everyone has different goals and what may be considered a great lifestyle by some is considered hell by others, but on balance what do those of you who are in the UAE make of it, do any of you regret having moved?
playing footy in the park with all my mates in the sun, going to amazing places to eat and drink, meeting cool people from all over the place and earning decent cash to buy nice things as well?
It's not a bad life.
Oct 20th 2009, 1:41 pm
#3
hmmmm...nice
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,923
Re: Any regrets over moving?
been here nearly 5 years now...no regrets at all
Oct 20th 2009, 1:42 pm
#4
Is not impressed...
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Dubai
Posts: 258
Re: Any regrets over moving?
Actually, no. This has been a great move for us in almost every aspect. I'd love to do the same job for the same money back home, but then no one would ever come here.
Oct 20th 2009, 2:01 pm
#5
ex-expat
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: in front of my computer - in sunny Sussex!
Posts: 2,162
Re: Any regrets over moving?
Well, there's allegedly a Chinese curse that runs: "may you live in interesting times"... and for us, it's been a roller-coaster since we moved over in Sept 2008. Both Mr Kitty and I had already been expats in our lives so weren't strangers to the the inevitable upheaval and culture shock.
The experience has had several marked positives: we now have no debts in any country, my husband has had a step up in his career and is better off for it and let's say, we've both had life lessons that we can take back and apply - unfortunately those lessons take the form of "don't trust anything", "don't believe anything until you see it in writing, and even then be sceptical" and "principles go out the window if the person is greedy enough".
I wrote a while back in another thread a few things to bear in mind regarding kids and staying at home - and here it is. Basically life is very different for those who work and those who don't. You, the worker, will be fine, getting out every day, meeting new people... having a purpose. A consequence of that is that you will hear, from fellow workers, that Dubai is great for kids and that there's loads to do.
For your OH, however, it'll very much depend on what location you live in. There will be a lot of accosting complete strangers and "tagging along" - yes, everyone's in the same boat, and that's great, but it's more an endless Dover-Calais ferry than a fun weekend yacht.
It sounds harsh - and as if we have nothing better to do - but most of the mums I know have all expressed desperate boredom at various times. Some start up mother and baby activities, others take up some kind of course, others blank it out of their minds and yet others just desperately want to go home. Personally I've done everything save a course, which I'll try to do once I find a babysitter I feel I can trust.
What I say to everyone is that on a day-to-day basis it's fine here. No more or less than fine. I do what I did in the uk - meet other mums, let the kids play, take them to the beach/park/pool/playground...
I was talking to some friends just today in fact, and it seems as if most of us have the coping mechanism of treating our stay here as a holiday - take it as it comes and at face value. I made the mistake of trying to find meaning/culture/integration... something... when I first arrived and the sad fact is that the more you look, the less you find.
Also (and lastly) your wife will have more dealings with the small frustrations in life than you will - taxis, lack of accessibility, people nodding and smiling when you ask them something, promises of "yes madam, tomorrow!" and the seemingly incessant "Hello BAYBEEEE!" squawked at your child regardless of whether or not she's trying to go to sleep. I was told last week to "Obey" by an Emirati woman who wanted me to get my toddler out of the buggy so she could cuddle her. When I said no, she proceeded to try and wrench my daughter out, but fortunately 13kg of child got the better of her manicure and she gave up.
Such is life here. I'll jot it all down and smile when I remember the tales, but no, I'd never move out here again.
The experience has had several marked positives: we now have no debts in any country, my husband has had a step up in his career and is better off for it and let's say, we've both had life lessons that we can take back and apply - unfortunately those lessons take the form of "don't trust anything", "don't believe anything until you see it in writing, and even then be sceptical" and "principles go out the window if the person is greedy enough".
I wrote a while back in another thread a few things to bear in mind regarding kids and staying at home - and here it is. Basically life is very different for those who work and those who don't. You, the worker, will be fine, getting out every day, meeting new people... having a purpose. A consequence of that is that you will hear, from fellow workers, that Dubai is great for kids and that there's loads to do.
For your OH, however, it'll very much depend on what location you live in. There will be a lot of accosting complete strangers and "tagging along" - yes, everyone's in the same boat, and that's great, but it's more an endless Dover-Calais ferry than a fun weekend yacht.
It sounds harsh - and as if we have nothing better to do - but most of the mums I know have all expressed desperate boredom at various times. Some start up mother and baby activities, others take up some kind of course, others blank it out of their minds and yet others just desperately want to go home. Personally I've done everything save a course, which I'll try to do once I find a babysitter I feel I can trust.
What I say to everyone is that on a day-to-day basis it's fine here. No more or less than fine. I do what I did in the uk - meet other mums, let the kids play, take them to the beach/park/pool/playground...
I was talking to some friends just today in fact, and it seems as if most of us have the coping mechanism of treating our stay here as a holiday - take it as it comes and at face value. I made the mistake of trying to find meaning/culture/integration... something... when I first arrived and the sad fact is that the more you look, the less you find.
Also (and lastly) your wife will have more dealings with the small frustrations in life than you will - taxis, lack of accessibility, people nodding and smiling when you ask them something, promises of "yes madam, tomorrow!" and the seemingly incessant "Hello BAYBEEEE!" squawked at your child regardless of whether or not she's trying to go to sleep. I was told last week to "Obey" by an Emirati woman who wanted me to get my toddler out of the buggy so she could cuddle her. When I said no, she proceeded to try and wrench my daughter out, but fortunately 13kg of child got the better of her manicure and she gave up.
Such is life here. I'll jot it all down and smile when I remember the tales, but no, I'd never move out here again.
Last edited by Hello.Kitty; Oct 20th 2009 at 2:08 pm.
Oct 20th 2009, 2:10 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2009
Location: Back in the best hemisphere...
Posts: 474
Re: Any regrets over moving?
As previously stated, it can be pretty mad culture shock for the first 3 months, if you havn't worked in Asia or Middle East previously.
On the whole, it is a very interesting place to work, politics aside, and the money and opportunities are great, but...
...it can be a difficult place for families. We have sent our girls home, because the quality of schooling was having such a negative effect on them, and it just wasn't good for them being cooped up in a villa all summer. They cant be normal children here.
I've worked in Asia before, and would go back to Singapore or Malaysia in a heart beat. I wouldn't move back to the ME after this experience.
On the whole, it is a very interesting place to work, politics aside, and the money and opportunities are great, but...
...it can be a difficult place for families. We have sent our girls home, because the quality of schooling was having such a negative effect on them, and it just wasn't good for them being cooped up in a villa all summer. They cant be normal children here.
I've worked in Asia before, and would go back to Singapore or Malaysia in a heart beat. I wouldn't move back to the ME after this experience.
Oct 20th 2009, 2:11 pm
#7
why ayeeeee man!
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Disco Gardens...
Posts: 11,370
Re: Any regrets over moving?
Well, there's allegedly a Chinese curse that runs: "may you live in interesting times"... and for us, it's been a roller-coaster since we moved over in Sept 2008. Both Mr Kitty and I had already been expats in our lives so weren't strangers to the the inevitable upheaval and culture shock.
The experience has had several marked positives: we now have no debts in any country, my husband has had a step up in his career and is better off for it and let's say, we've both had life lessons that we can take back and apply - unfortunately those lessons take the form of "don't trust anything", "don't believe anything until you see it in writing, and even then be sceptical" and "principles go out the window if the person is greedy enough".
I wrote a while back in another thread a few things to bear in mind regarding kids and staying at home - and here it is. Basically life is very different for those who work and those who don't. You, the worker, will be fine, getting out every day, meeting new people... having a purpose. A consequence of that is that you will hear, from fellow workers, that Dubai is great for kids and that there's loads to do.
For your OH, however, it'll very much depend on what location you live in. There will be a lot of accosting complete strangers and "tagging along" - yes, everyone's in the same boat, and that's great, but it's more an endless Dover-Calais ferry than a fun weekend yacht.
It sounds harsh - and as if we have nothing better to do - but most of the mums I know have all expressed desperate boredom at various times. Some start up mother and baby activities, others take up some kind of course, others blank it out of their minds and yet others just desperately want to go home. Personally I've done everything save a course, which I'll try to do once I find a babysitter I feel I can trust.
What I say to everyone is that on a day-to-day basis it's fine here. No more or less than fine. I do what I did in the uk - meet other mums, let the kids play, take them to the beach/park/pool/playground...
I was talking to some friends just today in fact, and it seems as if most of us have the coping mechanism of treating our stay here as a holiday - take it as it comes and at face value. I made the mistake of trying to find meaning/culture/integration... something... when I first arrived and the sad fact is that the more you look, the less you find.
Also (and lastly) your wife will have more dealings with the small frustrations in life than you will - taxis, lack of accessibility, people nodding and smiling when you ask them something, promises of "yes madam, tomorrow!" and the seemingly incessant "Hello BAYBEEEE!" squawked at your child regardless of whether or not she's trying to go to sleep. I was told last week to "Obey" by an Emirati woman who wanted me to get my toddler out of the buggy so she could cuddle her. When I said no, she proceeded to try and wrench my daughter out, but fortunately 13kg of child got the better of her manicure and she gave up.
Such is life here. I'll jot it all down and smile when I remember the tales, but no, I'd never move out here again.
The experience has had several marked positives: we now have no debts in any country, my husband has had a step up in his career and is better off for it and let's say, we've both had life lessons that we can take back and apply - unfortunately those lessons take the form of "don't trust anything", "don't believe anything until you see it in writing, and even then be sceptical" and "principles go out the window if the person is greedy enough".
I wrote a while back in another thread a few things to bear in mind regarding kids and staying at home - and here it is. Basically life is very different for those who work and those who don't. You, the worker, will be fine, getting out every day, meeting new people... having a purpose. A consequence of that is that you will hear, from fellow workers, that Dubai is great for kids and that there's loads to do.
For your OH, however, it'll very much depend on what location you live in. There will be a lot of accosting complete strangers and "tagging along" - yes, everyone's in the same boat, and that's great, but it's more an endless Dover-Calais ferry than a fun weekend yacht.
It sounds harsh - and as if we have nothing better to do - but most of the mums I know have all expressed desperate boredom at various times. Some start up mother and baby activities, others take up some kind of course, others blank it out of their minds and yet others just desperately want to go home. Personally I've done everything save a course, which I'll try to do once I find a babysitter I feel I can trust.
What I say to everyone is that on a day-to-day basis it's fine here. No more or less than fine. I do what I did in the uk - meet other mums, let the kids play, take them to the beach/park/pool/playground...
I was talking to some friends just today in fact, and it seems as if most of us have the coping mechanism of treating our stay here as a holiday - take it as it comes and at face value. I made the mistake of trying to find meaning/culture/integration... something... when I first arrived and the sad fact is that the more you look, the less you find.
Also (and lastly) your wife will have more dealings with the small frustrations in life than you will - taxis, lack of accessibility, people nodding and smiling when you ask them something, promises of "yes madam, tomorrow!" and the seemingly incessant "Hello BAYBEEEE!" squawked at your child regardless of whether or not she's trying to go to sleep. I was told last week to "Obey" by an Emirati woman who wanted me to get my toddler out of the buggy so she could cuddle her. When I said no, she proceeded to try and wrench my daughter out, but fortunately 13kg of child got the better of her manicure and she gave up.
Such is life here. I'll jot it all down and smile when I remember the tales, but no, I'd never move out here again.
Oct 20th 2009, 2:18 pm
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2009
Location: Back in the best hemisphere...
Posts: 474
Re: Any regrets over moving?
Hey Kitty
You were told to "Obey" - nice. I had an elderly local physically push me in the middle of the chest, out of his way in a supermarket. I was being respectful for an elder, and waiting for him to pass me by, but he just pushed me!
I was really quite stunned - I weigh 110kg + 178cm, and have played (very) competitive rugby. This old guy was about 60 and barely 155cm. But local...
You were told to "Obey" - nice. I had an elderly local physically push me in the middle of the chest, out of his way in a supermarket. I was being respectful for an elder, and waiting for him to pass me by, but he just pushed me!
I was really quite stunned - I weigh 110kg + 178cm, and have played (very) competitive rugby. This old guy was about 60 and barely 155cm. But local...
Oct 20th 2009, 2:18 pm
#9
ex-expat
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: in front of my computer - in sunny Sussex!
Posts: 2,162
Re: Any regrets over moving?
If I were in GB, I'd have given the person a piece of my mind that would have got me arrested over here! Talking about it to Mr Kitty, he just shrugged and said "she must have thought you were the nanny" as if that justified it. Heck, yes, who in their right mind would walk their own children around?!
That afternoon was a bit special though... I was accosted by two different people and asked if I had a nanny (subsequent wiggling eyebrows and hopeful looks). I do like people's reactions when I say I don't - "with two babies, madam? No nanny?" and a look that's trying to suss out whether I'm superwoman or a complete lunatic - it never crosses their minds that it's actually possibly for a western mother to look after her own children.
Last edited by Hello.Kitty; Oct 20th 2009 at 2:24 pm.
Oct 20th 2009, 2:19 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2009
Location: Back in the best hemisphere...
Posts: 474
Oct 20th 2009, 2:26 pm
#11
Concierge
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 29,625
Re: Any regrets over moving?
I have no regrets, 13 years down the line now and I wish I had done it sooner than I did ! lifes what you make it 
Oct 20th 2009, 2:48 pm
#13
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Re: Any regrets over moving?
It looks as if there is a divide in opinion in the benefits of living in the UAE between women who work and those who are there as housewives, which I suppose is to be expected.
I guess I'll have to leave the decision to the boss, as she'll be the one with the harder job!
I guess I'll have to leave the decision to the boss, as she'll be the one with the harder job!
Oct 20th 2009, 2:51 pm
#14
Is not impressed...
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Dubai
Posts: 258
Re: Any regrets over moving?
Usually a good idea.
Oct 20th 2009, 3:07 pm
#15
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2009
Location: Back in the best hemisphere...
Posts: 474
Re: Any regrets over moving?
It looks as if there is a divide in opinion in the benefits of living in the UAE between women who work and those who are there as housewives, which I suppose is to be expected.
I guess I'll have to leave the decision to the boss, as she'll be the one with the harder job!
I guess I'll have to leave the decision to the boss, as she'll be the one with the harder job!
Although, you may have missed one of the points raised, its not just your wife who may be affected by some of the carry on, it will have a big impact on you if your wife hates it, and wants/needs to go home with your children.
Last edited by spart; Oct 20th 2009 at 3:10 pm.